Monday, September 14, 2015

Of Course, Of Course

One of my most guarded secrets is that I don't really like animals HEAR ME OUT.

It's not that I don't like them, it's just that don't really like them.
It's an "I'm just not that into them" sort of situation, kind of like the book from the early 2000's but without the self-loathing, low self-esteem, and crying jags.

I feel strangely protective of animals. I don't wish them any harm. More than once I've caught myself pondering the mental health of our cat, Howard. (He enjoys licking Calvin's hair when he gets out of the shower and I'm no expert, but doesn't that scream feline psychological maladjustment?)

But the point of this post isn't really that I'd rather not hold your cat or that I'm slightly afraid of large animals because I once fell off a horse and twisted my ankle, or that when I see a human person letting a dog lick its face, it gives me the visceral shakes.

The point of this post is that I can't stop buying animal paraphernalia.

It started after we left the farm. And it confuses me deeply.

No amount of self-reflection could have prepared me for the moment I was minding my own business, traipsing through a barn sale with my friend Emily, and came upon a piece of animal art, rendered entirely from magazine pages.

I repeat: It is a farm animal magazine collage.

You know how I am about magazine handicrafts!

Yada yada, Stop it.

I casually walked past it, pretending to be normal. I browsed around outside, trying to make myself feel what it would be like to not take it* home with me. Then I slowly turned around and said to Emily, "Just fyi, I'm going to spend up all my pocket cash and buy a big picture of a horse."

"Okay", she said.

Tell me you blame me, even a tiny bit.

{Artist: Shelly Henning}

Turns out, it didn't fit in my checked baggage, so I shoved my purse into my carry-on and called this my personal item. Amazingly, no one questioned me. ( < horse miracle)

And that's the story of how I keep continuing to decorate with animal-themed objects, even though I it's not 1986, I live in the city, and I'm not a fan of animals.

For more animal-themed decor (<< something I never imagined writing at any point during my life), check out my gigantic cow canvas, which used to live over the couch but has wandered over to the kitchen. {Source: Whatever Shop}

And if you're anywhere near Thomasville, NC, be sure to check out the Chartreuse Barn Sale.

It was SO good!

* I know literally nothing about horses, so I can't tell if this is a man horse or a woman horse, but I do know that it doesn't deserve to be called "it". I'm taking name suggestions in the comments, and if yours is connected to a funny story, I'll love you forever.