Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Goodwill "Winners"

I'll be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect with how this whim of mine would be received by you guys. This kind of felt like the Biggest Test Ever of how well we "get" each other.

Will they dig it?
Will they finally decide, after years of contemplation, that enough is enough?
Will they doubt my choices?
Will they break up?

The good news is, the wedding is still ON!
We're still a thing, you and me. You're Thelma, I'm Louise. In it to the end, minus the dying.

The comments were such a frenzy that was forced to Google "how to turn off comments blogger" for the first time in 6 years. Don't be mad, baby. I didn't have a choice. I couldn't handle more comments/new comments/all the wonderful, enthusiastic Goodwill-geeking comments BECAUSE I WAS BUSY CREATING A SPREADSHEET.

Another bloggy first.

This project required the careful tallying of each and every bid.

(I wish I could don my handy Martyr hat and pretend I hated it, but you don't work as a policy wonk at a political think-tank without emerging an even nerdier version of yourself. Bless it, Robert Rector.)

It feels impossible to articulate at this hour how much the bell curve distribution of said spreadsheet data blessed me. Who knew??? (I originally had a screen shot of the spreadsheet on this post, but it caused my blog to rebel and act fussy, so I had to take it down. Just know: Almost perfect bell curve.) I put exactly zero thought into the order of the outfits on the post. Honest to goodness, I was worried about ol' #6, with the lace and the gingham. It felt so FPFG that I was sure it was more of a niche combo.

I'll be honest though, I'm pretty disappointed at your overall disregard for outfit #7. Why you gotta hate, baby? My friends Sarah and Kim came over for dinner Monday night and of course Goodwill was a hot topic of convo. Of the poor, brown jacket, Sarah said something to the effect of, "It doesn't wow me," to which I hauled every last outfit down to my kitchen (where they still reside, cough cough) and we sorted through them.

Kim tried on the brown coat like a boss-lady and loved it. BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME. I will admit, perhaps I could have paired it with a different shirt. I'm working with some limitations here, people! Just trust that should you see her rocking her tweed faux-moto (fauxmo?) jacket around town, you will blaze with crimson shame over your loss.

Poor, poor people-coat.

Now, for our winners.

Listen. Silas chose them. It felt like the only fair way and I thought it could be insightful. It wasn't, really. But I had hope that it could have been.

Last night I hauled the laptop up to his bed and we went through each list of names (often multiple times so he could remember his options.) He picked the name he liked best. I will now list the names, along with his reasoning for choosing it, but please remember, it was late. He wasn't quite on his game. (And his game is WEIRD.) I annotated his rationale beside each winner.

Right up front, I'd like to offer my apologies to Darby.
He is 6.

One last disclaimer: I'm fairly concerned about things fitting the winners right. Should you find that your items don't fit or you just don't love them, there is a staunch no-returns policy, because it will be a miracle unto itself if I even get these sent out in the first place. (I believe! I do!) So, in a case such as this, you would have two options: 1) re-donate it. Look at it as a ministry. 2) comb through the comments on the original post and contact a loser. And by "loser," I simply mean "one who did not win." Just to clarify.

Without further ado...

#1 - Gray sweater/blue T - Darby (Because it sounds weird.)
#2 - Red blazer and cami - Kristin (It's a blah blah.)
#3 - Courduroy blazer and striped T - Elisha (It's so cool.)
#4 - Green sweater, polka dot T - Melissa (It's awesome.)
#5 - Black jacket, gray T - Ann (It's so short.)
#6 - Gingham - Bekah (It's a cool name!)
#7 - Don't wanna talk about it.
#8 - Plaid button-down, Gray T - Easton. (It's so cool. Easton. It is SO COOL! Easton!)
#9 - Blue loungey sweatshirt - Michelle* (Because it's cool.) (See? Not on his game.)
#10 - Oatmeal button down - Amanda* (He actually picked Keisha, the only other contender, because she is his aunt. But I thought we'd better do that thing where immediate family members can't win. No worries though, Amanda. I'm sure he thinks your name is "cool".)
#11 - Gray cardi, Mystery Man T - Becklist. (For Silas, I changed this to "Becky" because it was late and I couldn't chance another tangent. He immediately picked Becky, "Because it's such a pretty name." Little rat can't help how cute and lovable he is....)

Winners, you can Paypal me $16 at ( and be sure to include your shipping address in the notes.

Will I do this again? Oh, I think I probably will.
You guys are such enablers.


*Michelle - I spotted a couple small darkish spots on the back of the sweatshirt when Kim tried it on for fun. I didn't realize they were there before. They are small and not super noticeable, but I totally understand if that's not your jam. If you are still interested, the price is $5 (rather than $10) plus $6 shipping. Also, the striped T has super-fun sequined bling on the front stripes! I had forgotten about that...