Monday, June 30, 2014

Ruby's Family Portraits (and why it's hard to be the mama)


What we have on our hands around here is a small pack of budding artists. All 3 of the littles draw their brains out on an almost-daily basis. I buy reams of copy paper from Kroger like it's my J.O.B.  (Except for the last time it wouldn't ring up right, so they just gave it to me. You have my heart, Kroger!)

Recently, unbeknownst to me, Ruby drew portraits of our family.

I took the liberty to caption the pictures, and I'm quite confident everyone will be pleased with my interpretations.

 "I'm Ruby! I have curly hair and a toothy grin. I'm obviously the kind of cute little girl you'd want to spend the day with."

"I'm Silas! I love stars and all kinds of sparkly things. I jump and dance around. My jazz hands are on autopilot. You just can't top the fun I am!"

"I'm Calvin! I'm friendly and sweet and I love to engineer and build. Look at what I just made with my Legos!"

"I'm Cory! I'm a fun, happy Dad. I specialize in tickling and general joy and happiness. I love to take pictures, and I really love wearing shirts featuring myself taking pictures."

"It's me! Howard! I'm the coolest cat around. Heck, I wear people clothes. Don't let my squinty cat eyes fool you, I'm a deep sea of serenity. Meowww."

 "I'm Mommy."

I have to say, the hair is a ringer.

Welp, I'm off to hide under the covers forever and pray for the sort of life circumstances that don't cause my sweet children to picture me as a psychotic, terrifying, cross-eyed maniac.

Goodbye Forever,
"Sannan"


**Editorial note: Ruby claims I'm "looking at my fingernail polish" as opposed to getting ready to back-hand someone*. The problem is, she also claims I'm "smiling" and "cute" in her rendering. Also, I have painted my fingernails zero times in the past 4 years and I'm pretty sure that one time when she was 3 didn't make a huge impression.

*Which I have done never in ever and hopefully you know this, but I'm right about now, I'm questioning almost everything.


34 comments:

  1. I think she was just trying to point out that you do not have claw hands, but lovely, short stubby fingers. ;)

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  2. Oh. My. Gosh. Funniest thing evah! (May have Cory's Father's Day pic beat) Love it! :)

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  3. This made my night! My five year old currently draws only pictures of Jesus (thank you, two weeks of VBS) and ghosts. Not the Holy Ghost - Jesus and ghosts. :)

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  4. so stinkin' funny. just found your blog and enjoy it so much! thanks for your great stories!

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  5. I. AM. DYING!!! this may be one of my most favorite posts from you. i am literally laughing out loud every time i scroll up and see your picture. HAHA!

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  6. I'm pretty sure my kids have drawn the exact same picture of me... But they actually SAY "these are your scary eyes. We don't like your scary eyes."

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  7. I once was the proud (?) recipient of a similar drawing done by my daughter. Only my teeth were all jaggedy-like and I looked like I was about to consume my newborn son. She said I was looking pretty. Hrmmmm.

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  8. I especially love how it looks like you are gritting your teeth to get through the next few minutes before you have to back-hand someone!

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  9. Oh, I laughed so hard... Why is it that Mommy's often get the short-end of the stick somehow? Stick with what Ruby got right... GREAT HAIR! ;)

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  10. Those are great!!!!!! Ruby just needed to put a chip in your hand and I would have thought were hitting the salsa!!

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  11. Upon further inspection, my 9 year old wants to know where your body is? Seems you're only a head and an arm!!! Gosh, ya gotta love kids interpretations!!!! Cracking up!!!!

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  12. one time for the family christmas talent show I decided to do caracatures of the family. I was awful on purpose to make it a joke. I made the mistake of doing one for my three year old, who saw it and screamed at me and cried and said he hated it and he doesn't look that way. Oops.
    we found the pic a year later and he was still pissed about it.

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  13. I am sitting at my desk crying because I am laughing so hard. I love this (and you guys) so much.

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  14. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Love that Ruby girl and ALL of her drawings!

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  15. I have a sleeping ,sick , baby girl next to me...life has been rough...but the picof you that sweet girl drew?!??!

    Made
    My
    Day

    I thought it looked like you were going to bite your nails? I d k...cute ,cute cute all the same!

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  16. Awesome! Thanks for making me smile. =) I also enjoyed several of the comments. Kids are hilarious.

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  17. Oh my goodness. This is your funniest post yet. That picture - priceless!

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  18. Hee hee! I am more concerned with your absence of a body!

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  19. a) this is absolutely hysterical
    b) have you read Restless?

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  20. funniest thing you have ever posted. can't stop laughing.

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  21. I agree - funniest post ever. Worthy to spawn my first comment ever. Thanks for the laugh!

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  22. dying. how do you spell guffaw?
    this post.
    your ruby.
    you've just really got it made, sannan.
    soak it up.

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  23. LOL. Sannan, I think it's a great picture! :-)

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  24. So funny! Thank Ruby for the belly laugh!

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  25. I am dying of laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  26. Oh... I laughed until I had tears running down my face at the breakfast table!

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  27. first, i think this is the umbrella version of you, which is ingenious if you think about it. i would totally buy an umbrella with your face on it.

    second, you know the fish in that trench from finding nemo? the one with the portable nightlight? i think maybe you're wearing his teeth.

    but all in all, an endearing portrait. perfect for a fb profile picture. double dog dare. :)

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  28. I feel your pain:
    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10203601065420769&id=1639756361

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