Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The Day My Flip-Phone Died (& Winners)



Listen, I know all the bloggers think they have the best readers on the planet. Or at least they say they think so. But I happen to have tangible proof, and even though I didn't need proof, you guys totally put your radness on display in the comment section of this post.

I mean, I laughed. I cried. I wanted to reach through the screen and rub your shoulders in a non-creepy way. I wanted to scream "DO IT!" through some cyber-spooky megaphone. I wanted to bring you all over for a movie night with salsa. We do have a sectional now, so it wouldn't be as tight a squeeze as it would have been 3 months ago.

I need you to do this on every single post. It's not asking too much. I swear it's not. I'm not going to force you in a threatening-boss-with-odd-breath-and-large-gut sort of way, but I'm not above witholding your bonus. You're vibrant, ridiculous (best way), brave, honest, quirky people, and I need more of you in my life.

Weird story longer, I truly wish I could give every single one of you Nester's book. Not just saying that. I used to think if I won the lottery that I've never played except for that one time in DC, I would do something more along humanitarian or ministry lines.

Nope. Nester's book times 256. Not even playing.

Alas, here are the 3 winners: 

1 //

JennyMay 2, 2014 at 10:39 AM
In my tiny studio apartment I hung gauzy white fabric and bright red satin around my bed. Probably looked like something out of a cheesy victorian novel to everyone else, but it felt like vacation to me. What I've always wanted to do and been too afraid......get rid of the couch and buy a mad ton of pillows instead to lounge around on. I'll probably never do it now that we have a dog and there would be no way to get out of licking range.

2//
Chinamama4May 2, 2014 at 12:19 PM
In college, my roommate and I took bolts of clearance fabric (yellow gingham), dipped it in liquid starch, and wallpapered (wall-fabric-ed?) the walls of our dorm room. The cheeriest cell, er, room in the dorm! I'd love to add more artsy touches to my home but not sure where to start. And I am on a TIGHT budget, so I don't want to waste any $$$...

3//
SagheerMay 4, 2014 at 3:55 AM
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Just kidding, but don't you think he would potentially rock our socks off with some quirky style??

Real 3//
Oh I need this book!!! My hubby and I have always rented, I've never really bought any of my own furnitiure or decorations- the scary thing is...I don't even think I know my style or what I like...I need to get more wild and free and fun with the house we moving into soon...I think I want lots and lots of colors- that makes me happy :)

Email me, winners! (shannandmartin@gmail) 
And if you didn't win, you can order a copy here. I really think you should and I'm not just saying that.


In other news....deep breath..................................................I got a smart phone.
I've only had two full-blown rages and 3 halves.
My 8 key beeped his last beep. It was time.

In classic dork fashion, the first question out of my mouth at the Verizon store was nothing about the actual phone, but rather, "Do you have a phone with a big, bulky case?" So for real. 

The guy squinted his eyes together and said, "Do you want a big, bulky case?" Apparently that's not "popular" amongst you "cool" "people". I dropped my flip-phone at least once a week, and usually the back popped off and the battery flew out. I know my skill-set, and phone safety doesn't rank up in the top two-thirds. What I need is a special, padded briefcase to carry it around in.

Yada yada, the deal is done.

Here's where I am so far: It seems like it might sort of make my life....easier? 
And all God's people said, "No doi, Shannan." 

I didn't know. I thought it would be a constant distraction, but what happens instead is I can stay on top of things when the kiddos aren't here or when it works for me, etc.. then when the kids are here I don't need to sit at the dumb computer. 

But I'm definitely terrified of auto-correct.

Yesterday I texted Cory a very small, ordinary request. He immediately responded with, "Fine!"

And I was all, Geesh. And then I was all, Did I accidentally text Silas? 

A split second later, Cory texts again, "I meant, Done!"

(dramatic pause)

In a world where "done" autocorrects as "fine", I do not feel safe. This sort of magic doesn't make sense to me. This isn't one complicated and unusual word being replaced with another. There were no strange phonetic properties involved. It was one very normal word replaced (seemingly arbitrarily) by another. I feel like we're all being duped by those bad people who thought it'd be a good idea to turn us slowly into avatars. The joke is on us.

So while I will definitely never call you, and though I'll likely forget to answer at least half of your text messages, if I do remember, please give me grace. Need I remind you, I have very large hands? They do not appear to be a good fit so far with the tiny keyboard.

But at least there's this.

Happy Tuesday!
Or, as my phone would say, "Stupid elbow!"