Tuesday, May 6, 2014
The Day My Flip-Phone Died (& Winners)
Listen, I know all the bloggers think they have the best readers on the planet. Or at least they say they think so. But I happen to have tangible proof, and even though I didn't need proof, you guys totally put your radness on display in the comment section of this post.
I mean, I laughed. I cried. I wanted to reach through the screen and rub your shoulders in a non-creepy way. I wanted to scream "DO IT!" through some cyber-spooky megaphone. I wanted to bring you all over for a movie night with salsa. We do have a sectional now, so it wouldn't be as tight a squeeze as it would have been 3 months ago.
I need you to do this on every single post. It's not asking too much. I swear it's not. I'm not going to force you in a threatening-boss-with-odd-breath-and-large-gut sort of way, but I'm not above witholding your bonus. You're vibrant, ridiculous (best way), brave, honest, quirky people, and I need more of you in my life.
Weird story longer, I truly wish I could give every single one of you Nester's book. Not just saying that. I used to think if I won the lottery that I've never played except for that one time in DC, I would do something more along humanitarian or ministry lines.
Nope. Nester's book times 256. Not even playing.
Alas, here are the 3 winners:
But I'm definitely terrified of auto-correct.
Yesterday I texted Cory a very small, ordinary request. He immediately responded with, "Fine!"
And I was all, Geesh. And then I was all, Did I accidentally text Silas?
A split second later, Cory texts again, "I meant, Done!"
In a world where "done" autocorrects as "fine", I do not feel safe. This sort of magic doesn't make sense to me. This isn't one complicated and unusual word being replaced with another. There were no strange phonetic properties involved. It was one very normal word replaced (seemingly arbitrarily) by another. I feel like we're all being duped by those bad people who thought it'd be a good idea to turn us slowly into avatars. The joke is on us.
So while I will definitely never call you, and though I'll likely forget to answer at least half of your text messages, if I do remember, please give me grace. Need I remind you, I have very large hands? They do not appear to be a good fit so far with the tiny keyboard.
But at least there's this.
Or, as my phone would say, "Stupid elbow!"