Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The Day My Flip-Phone Died (& Winners)



Listen, I know all the bloggers think they have the best readers on the planet. Or at least they say they think so. But I happen to have tangible proof, and even though I didn't need proof, you guys totally put your radness on display in the comment section of this post.

I mean, I laughed. I cried. I wanted to reach through the screen and rub your shoulders in a non-creepy way. I wanted to scream "DO IT!" through some cyber-spooky megaphone. I wanted to bring you all over for a movie night with salsa. We do have a sectional now, so it wouldn't be as tight a squeeze as it would have been 3 months ago.

I need you to do this on every single post. It's not asking too much. I swear it's not. I'm not going to force you in a threatening-boss-with-odd-breath-and-large-gut sort of way, but I'm not above witholding your bonus. You're vibrant, ridiculous (best way), brave, honest, quirky people, and I need more of you in my life.

Weird story longer, I truly wish I could give every single one of you Nester's book. Not just saying that. I used to think if I won the lottery that I've never played except for that one time in DC, I would do something more along humanitarian or ministry lines.

Nope. Nester's book times 256. Not even playing.

Alas, here are the 3 winners: 

1 //

JennyMay 2, 2014 at 10:39 AM
In my tiny studio apartment I hung gauzy white fabric and bright red satin around my bed. Probably looked like something out of a cheesy victorian novel to everyone else, but it felt like vacation to me. What I've always wanted to do and been too afraid......get rid of the couch and buy a mad ton of pillows instead to lounge around on. I'll probably never do it now that we have a dog and there would be no way to get out of licking range.

2//
Chinamama4May 2, 2014 at 12:19 PM
In college, my roommate and I took bolts of clearance fabric (yellow gingham), dipped it in liquid starch, and wallpapered (wall-fabric-ed?) the walls of our dorm room. The cheeriest cell, er, room in the dorm! I'd love to add more artsy touches to my home but not sure where to start. And I am on a TIGHT budget, so I don't want to waste any $$$...

3//
SagheerMay 4, 2014 at 3:55 AM
All Kind of Current Affairs, Latest Hot News updates, Classified Sites, Pakistani Classified Sites, USA Classifieds, Indian Classifieds, Entertainment Articles, Entertainment News, Entertainment Pictures, Bollywood, Hollywood and Lollywood Pictures and Videos, Entertainment Latest updates, Hot Entertainment News and Pictures Funny Entertainment Pictures, lol Pictures, Funny Pictures and Much More Fun Only on 1 Current Affairs Network




Just kidding, but don't you think he would potentially rock our socks off with some quirky style??

Real 3//
Oh I need this book!!! My hubby and I have always rented, I've never really bought any of my own furnitiure or decorations- the scary thing is...I don't even think I know my style or what I like...I need to get more wild and free and fun with the house we moving into soon...I think I want lots and lots of colors- that makes me happy :)

Email me, winners! (shannandmartin@gmail) 
And if you didn't win, you can order a copy here. I really think you should and I'm not just saying that.


In other news....deep breath..................................................I got a smart phone.
I've only had two full-blown rages and 3 halves.
My 8 key beeped his last beep. It was time.

In classic dork fashion, the first question out of my mouth at the Verizon store was nothing about the actual phone, but rather, "Do you have a phone with a big, bulky case?" So for real. 

The guy squinted his eyes together and said, "Do you want a big, bulky case?" Apparently that's not "popular" amongst you "cool" "people". I dropped my flip-phone at least once a week, and usually the back popped off and the battery flew out. I know my skill-set, and phone safety doesn't rank up in the top two-thirds. What I need is a special, padded briefcase to carry it around in.

Yada yada, the deal is done.

Here's where I am so far: It seems like it might sort of make my life....easier? 
And all God's people said, "No doi, Shannan." 

I didn't know. I thought it would be a constant distraction, but what happens instead is I can stay on top of things when the kiddos aren't here or when it works for me, etc.. then when the kids are here I don't need to sit at the dumb computer. 

But I'm definitely terrified of auto-correct.

Yesterday I texted Cory a very small, ordinary request. He immediately responded with, "Fine!"

And I was all, Geesh. And then I was all, Did I accidentally text Silas? 

A split second later, Cory texts again, "I meant, Done!"

(dramatic pause)

In a world where "done" autocorrects as "fine", I do not feel safe. This sort of magic doesn't make sense to me. This isn't one complicated and unusual word being replaced with another. There were no strange phonetic properties involved. It was one very normal word replaced (seemingly arbitrarily) by another. I feel like we're all being duped by those bad people who thought it'd be a good idea to turn us slowly into avatars. The joke is on us.

So while I will definitely never call you, and though I'll likely forget to answer at least half of your text messages, if I do remember, please give me grace. Need I remind you, I have very large hands? They do not appear to be a good fit so far with the tiny keyboard.

But at least there's this.

Happy Tuesday!
Or, as my phone would say, "Stupid elbow!"



48 comments:

  1. I have a "dumb" smart phone that drives my husband crazy because it is SO slow. I'm just afraid I couldn't handle a really smart, smart phone! Bless my heart........

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  2. Auto correct is part of the fun, until it involves errors in punctuation that make you look like an idiot. Then it's less fun. My iPhone makes my life infinitely easier and waiting in any sort of queue much more enjoyable. I would also love to see what kind of texts Silas would send:)

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  3. You just make me laugh and simultaneously want to hug you. I always love coming here.

    Ahh...the Nester's book and all the other books that you listed a few weeks ago that are still just sitting in my Amazon cart waiting for me to bite the bullet and purchase (Rhinestone Jesus, Surprised by Motherhood, A Million Little Ways, and One Thousand Gifts)....just waiting...:)

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    Replies
    1. You HAVE to add Love Does! It is so good.
      But yes, totally buy all the books. Always all the books. :)

      Delete
  4. It's not the large hands... It's the large plastic screen protector...

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  5. I'm just waiting for someone to actually look at all 9 1/2 pages of my amazon wishlist...
    so, the short, cute, haircut on instagram...?!? love it! (it's new, right?)
    alas, I didn't win a free book, but I am considering tracing one of my canvases for a perfect rectangle - ish chalkboard (paint) area in my dining room, but I have a feeling I might not be able to hold the dang thing level while I'm tracing...
    enjoy your new phone, and don't let it eat up your life.

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    Replies
    1. Ha! It's a ponytail. :) With wonky pieces slipping out.
      Lots of ladies thought I chopped it off, so you're not alone.
      Maybe I should???
      I'm actually heading out for a cut in 10 minutes!

      Delete
    2. well, we'll have to see the new do, or the freshening up, or the new hat? (jk)
      i posted to my blog, now i need to wrangle my almost 16 year old to get me some good photos...
      kindnessisthefinest.blogspot.com
      be gentle, I'm new at this and kinda scared... once i open the floodgates, there's no telling what might spill out.

      Delete
  6. Welcome to a brave new world. By the way, love, love, love that tall skinny white cabinet at the top. And lady, you make us all smile, every time. At least when you aren't bringing tears to our eyes and hearts...

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  7. I love my iPhone. I happen to live in sin with an iPhone expert, so I do have the luxury of live support for all my questions, so that helps. In the spirit of celebrating your brave step into the world of smartphones, I offer you 2 cool tech things-
    1. a Mophie case - Smartphones are rad, but they can eat battery life like candy. I picked up one of these for my Mom for her recent bday and she loves it and the techie boyfriend swears by his. It's a case that gives you an extra 80, 100, or 120% power backup for your phone, depending on the case you select. They are pricey, but totally worth it if you are often not close to a charger.
    2. My new favorite app- D minder. You can download this free app that will tell you the best time of day in your location to soak up vitamin D. It also has a timer you can set that will alert you when you have soaked up enough sunshine/vitamin D. And it pulls everything into a nice format so you can track your natural vitamin D intake overtime.

    And one more because this is one of my fave little known features that I think you will appreciate; if you have an iPhone and you are taking photos, you can turn the phone on it's side and use the volume buttons to snap the pic. Just like holding a real camera!

    If you start having conversations with Siri, please, please let us know.

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    Replies
    1. That volume buttons thing just blew my dang mind!
      Alas - Droid.
      They gave me the option of iPhone for $100 or Droid Mini for...free. :)

      Delete
    2. I have no Droid experience, only iPhone. But welcome to the smartphone world anyway! There are all sorts of great apps for Droid. My new fave today is one that shows you which fruits and veggies are in season locally so you know what to stock up on at the farmer's mkt. Genius!

      Delete
  8. Well now I don't feel so alone. We've been limping around with crappy Virgin Mobile phones forever. But we all got "new" and "real" phones yesterday. I put new in quotes because I got a Samsung S3 and the S5 just came out. LOL

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  9. Cracking me up, friend. Cracking. Me. Up. Side note: I had to RSVP "no" to a wedding, and it was in Goshen (is that near you? I imagined that it was...) and one of my saddest thoughts was "But I could have met up with Shannan..."

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  10. My favorite autocorrect moment : Trying to tell my friend "See ya there!", but instead "Siberia!" was sent. No clue. But it was amazing.

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  11. Yeah!!!!! I totally gasped when I clicked that last link! I'm thrilled to add you to my IG feed! Woot! :) Also, autocorrect is nothing to mess around with. Also, Siri (or whatever voice equivalent the phone you have uses) is also exceptionally evil with the mix ups and the words that you didn't mean to use. You have been warned. But instagram...Yay!

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  12. You really have to watch that stupid auto correct! Sometimes it has a dirty mind!!! We certainly don't need THAT type of embarrassment!! Lol!!

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  13. Now you need to get an instagram! :)

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  14. Oh man! But you made my dumb phone look cool! Now I feel like the last man standing. If you can tell me that the phone does not become an appendage, I might just do it. Report back to us old school-ers in a few weeks, okay?

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  15. I'm so pleased that I now know how to spell doi! That word just doesn't get the mileage it should. I will remedy that.

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  16. This takes us to a whole new level. Be warned. Your IG feed will be full of your future daughter in law.

    Come visit. I am itching to see you.

    xxoo

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  17. In the midst of a day where I've been crying in between caring for kids (my hubby received bad news about his job) your post made me LAUGH.OUT.LOUD. It was such a sweet, unexpected gift. I went from ugly-crying to ugly-laughing, especially at the "Stupid elbow!" Part. Priceless. And thank you.

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  18. When Meg shared that you were on instagram I was SO happy! Then I thought waaait... it's official my grandma is now the last person with a dumb phone! ;)

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  19. I forgot to go back and enter the contest - but just wanted to stop and say - am I the only one who looked at that top picture of your new entryway and the first thought was "Dang, Shannan has turned a wooden toilet seat into a really rad hall mirror! What can't she do with decorating??" : ) That was thought with nothing but love - of course I realized upon looking more closely and actually reading the rest of the post that this was NOT the case...... I bet you could totally pull it off though : )

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  20. I had pre-ordered the book from Amazon - best decorating book EVER!
    Auto correct and speech recognition are always a gamble - I sent a 'text' via speech recognition to my nephew and asked about his beautiful bride - it came out as 'dutiful wife'. Fortunately, I had the good sense to read before I hit SEND so I could edit!

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  21. Man! You were on my (very short) list of people that I "know" (I'm grasping) without a smart phone. I'm going to have to make some new friends. Probably much older friends.

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    Replies
    1. i'm 37. i will be your friend.

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    2. Nice! And you are NOT much older :)

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  22. What does it say about me if this is my favorite post ever? Your claws will adjust, promise. I feel closer to you already. Just one easy smartphone text away, autocorrect and all.

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  23. Ok, so I am still using a flip phone, or are they called "dumb" phones now? :) I don't even have any kind of a media plan on my phone. Not even texting. If I decide to send a text or if someone sends me a text it charges me 20 cents. Most of my friends and family know not to send me text messages. I guess I'm just not that in to techy gadgets. So, to all those who are thinking they are the last of the "dumb" phone users, never fear there are more of us out there. We probably need a special club of something. When I recently needed a new phone, I specifically shopped for a flip phone. A little Samsung number that was originally designed for the military. It is pretty much drop proof. I too have a habit of dropping phones. Which is how my first and favorite little flip phone died, or was that because I threw it across the room (another story for another time). My husbands died from an unexpected spin in the washer and he too purchased another flip phone just like his first one. We are a flip phone family and proud of it!. I could go on and on but I won't! Enjoy your new phone and keep us posted on all the auto correct issues as I'm sure you will have some stories to tell!

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  24. No! You went to the dark side without me. I maintained the thought "if Shannan has a non-smart phone then I'm still okay having one also". Dang! You just shot that right outta the water.

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  25. LOL, I also still have the first flip phone, and I mean my first cell phone, after the track phone trial! and I can see the day coming when it will have to go to rest.....goodbye reminder of Star Trek and hello asking kids and grandkids to please shoe me how my phone works!!! :)

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  26. I laughed out loud when you said you thought you texted Silas! I texted my husband one time shortly after I got my smart phone (two months ago), and he had to call me to decipher what I was actually trying to type. Do you have that finger-drag thingy? Where you don't actually have to tap to spell? That's kind of cool, but kind of even scarier - because it anticipates. You know what it never anticipates? Poop. I tried to text about poop and it wouldn't anticipate. What the hay?!

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    Replies
    1. This cracked me up so bad. On that note! Bedtime.

      Delete
  27. is it the dumbest thing ever that the sole reason i want a smart phone is so i can instagram? everything about instagram was made for me, and yet we cannot be friends.

    ps autocorrect has brought SO much unforseen joy to my life. i suspect i will not be nearly as amused when i'm the victim, but with other people? best part of my day.

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  28. A little off-topic, but can we PLEASE talk more about your gray sectional? I think I might be in love... I've been thinking about the IKEA gray one for forever!

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  29. I have a.PHABLET as my 1st smart phone. Say what??? Its a phone and a tablet. Its 6 inches by 6 inches. Huge and square. I can see things. I can run one device. It makes me geek happy. I have a smart phone that isnt a copy cat of everyone elses.

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  30. Hahahahahaha! "No doi." I'm going to have to teach that to my kids.....pass it on. I have the basic cheap slider keyboard phone. It's that $30 data pack that stops me from fun phones.

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    Replies
    1. That's what held me back for so long. But Cory has one for work and it cost us $10 extra per month to add me. Not too shabby!

      Delete
  31. Yay! So excited for you. I would definitely want one of those huge, padded cases. My record is worse than yours, I fear, in the dropped phone department. And I may be the last dumb phone owner on the planet. No, I know that's not so, but I sure feel like it. Is it bad to want a smart phone so I don't have to lug my big camera around and break my neck when we're on vacation? I want the camera and instagram!

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  32. May God bless your "stupid" elbow. Smart phones take some getting used to. And I just hate it when my phone is [occasionally] smarter than I am.

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  33. I've been secretly hoping that your flip phone would conk out because I know that you will brighten my Instagram world. :-) (If you accidentally send any inappropriate texts, blame me!)

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  34. LOL! Oh the joy of having a smart phone, although it makes stupid mistakes sometimes.

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  35. LOL for winner #3 (the not real one)! You and your spammers. haha Dang it I missed the contest, we've been running ragged to and fro and I am catching up on your posts, but thank you for the heads up on her book. :) Also, I'll keep Robert and your family in prayer.

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