Monday, March 31, 2014

Things I Learned at Hope Spoken :: Miscellaneous Monday Edition



* I am the worst traveler ever. The. Worst. If I'm not busy assuming my flight will be canceled, I'm paranoid about someone yanking my wallet. (Maybe because both things have actually happened in recent memory??) I've become heinous when it comes to driving in unfamiliar cities, left to my own devices, which include but are not limited to: paper maps and frantic phone calls to Cory. I honk at people and am honked at. I get jittery about tolls. I park in the wrong parking garages. I'm a weirdo at the ticket counter. I am always, every single time, a hair's width from not sitting my butt on the plane, for a host of reasons, and when I do? My carry-on is too heavy for my twig arms to lift it to the overhead compartment. A nice man offers help, to which I respond, "Thanks! I'm not as strong as I look." And he registers a look of, "Honey, my two year old grandkid could so take you". The joke falls flat, I question my ability to properly utilize irony, and I buckle my seat belt, already dreading the return flight.

* I used to think if I was going to forget a key toiletry, a tooth brush would be the one I'd pick. They seem so readily available. A tooth brush is a tooth brush, you know. Except now I know that "brushing" one's teeth with a hotel "tooth brush" is exactly like washing one's teeth with a shedding push-broom made of rubber, the "bristles" of which register the sturdiness of two-ply tissue. It was so large, yet so soft and flexible. Such a pointless tool. I never saw this one coming.

* People look at me like I'm Mary Todd Lincoln when I pull an actual point-and-shoot camera out and snap a few pics.

* I can waffle and waver and try on outfits and stew over what the right thing is to wear to something like this, but when it actually comes down to it, you'll find me in gingham and Converse. It's my adult security blanket.

* If you put three exhausted moms in a hotel room and draw the black-out shades, they will not wake up until 10:25 a.m.

* If you give two savvy, puffy-eyed ladies 15 minutes to look presentable for a brunch with a bunch of other, savvier, and much better-turned-out ladies, they will mostly pull it off. (This one did better than the other one.)

* Paige Knudsen? The K is not silent. I mean, whaaaaaaaaat?

* In between being psychotic on the phone while Cory tried patiently talking me through being lost on the way to the airport, I told him this, quote, "Everyone will comment on how tall I am and my man voice" endquote. I was right about the first part, but I'm sure they were all thinking the second part.

* Jami Nato is the Bizarro Emily Freeman, like on Seinfeld. Or maybe it's the other way around. Whatever. I don't know who's the chicken or who's the egg,  I just found it uncanny and wonderful. I officially dig them both.

* Tex-Mex and unlimited salsa and guac can make an "I'm not even hungry yet!" girl change her tune, but quick.

My pretend homegirl, Shauna Niequist
* I looked cute for 3 days running, properly doing my hair, wearing jewelry, washing my teeth like a dang champ. I spent so many hours with so many people I love, laughing our heads and generally loving life. No one cared about pictures. I ended up in this lone shot during that streak of legendary put-togetherness. It was taken with a person who has no clue who I am, on another person's phone, because, well, let's not re-hash that again... 

Pretty Girl Danielle

* On the last day of the conference, after I had ugly-cried all my lady-paint clean off for roughly 24 hours straight, having had only 3 hours of sleep the previous night and having lost the will to fluff my hair or properly accessorize, roughly everyone in the Universe wanted a picture of everything, which happened to include me.

* I hunch over in all pictures like a gangly weirdo. (I have known this for a long time...so why don't I stop?)

You guys. I have so much more to say about Hope Spoken. So much goodness to share.
I'm going to do us all a favor and save the rest for tomorrow.

Meantime, tell me one thing you learned while I was in Texas.

I'm all ears. Literally.


42 comments:

  1. i'm just really sad over the fact that your claw hands aren't in any of the pictures. and you better be there next year. because i'll be throwing up in the bathroom before i have to speak, and i might need someone to drag me out. i am waiting excitedly for the talks to come out so i can snatch yours up. xoxo!

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    1. also, i'm so happy you wrote a miscellany-type monday post. too bad i quit doing them months ago. lol lol lol. i mean that with all the love in the world.

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    2. Cee - I ALMOST texted you last night to give a virtual SCREAMMMMM!!!! about next year! I'm so proud of you. So excited. I'll do everything in my power to be a face in the crowd for you, Lady. XO

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    3. when you're a face in the crowd cheering her on, will you sit with me? i'll be cheering her on, too.

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  2. i do that weird lean over thing too - i think its going to make me fit in better with all my shorty friends but it never works. i just look strangely scrunched. i also try to remember to tell myself not to do it in pics but its a hard habit to break! cant wait to hear more!!

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  3. Sorry about that second to last one. I take FULL responsibility for that one. Like REALLY sorry.

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    1. Well. I do hold you mostly responsible. You and God. ha.

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  4. Three things:
    1) My weekend wasn't nearly as fun and exciting as yours.
    2) We all do something weird in photos - I don't hunch, I just ugly-slouch.
    3) I learned I have no self control around pizza and/or chocolate cake. How many times must I learn this lesson??

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  5. Glad you had a wonderful time. Wish i could have heard you (and the others) speak! You had me cracking up at your "im not as strong as i look." My twiggy arms always have a rough time with the carryon too. The stranger's reply was equally entertaining. The nerve...haha.

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  6. I learned that you can survive your entire family having the stomach flu whilst on vacation in Mexico. I was the lucky one who got to have it on the way down! Talk about awesome plane travel. It was super fun.

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    1. Oh my WORD. What could be more unlucky?
      This will make your vacay to IN all the more stunning in comparison! ;)

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  7. fear not. one of my best buds called me paige Nudsen for years. i never wanted to correct her because she'd mispronounce my name in front of other folks and then by the time they were gone i'd forget to correct her. well years later someone else corrected her. she still holds a grudge. ( kidding) glad you & wynnie girl hooked up. she's the bomb. and OF FREAKING COURSE everyone wanted their pics with you. stud.

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    1. I mean, hahaha! I was mostly "that tall skinny girl" in a sea of famous faces. :)
      Thanks for weighing in. This whole thing blew my mind! And I love your story. Like when you totally forget someone's name but you spend so much time pretending you know it, that you can never, ever ask!
      You were so missed this weekend, Paigey.

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  8. I love your self-depricating humor! And it makes others love you too! Do you know if the Hope Spoken sessions will be available online? Would love to hear them.

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    1. Rumor has it, they will be available to all the ladies in the land.
      I'll keep you posted!

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  9. I learned that when the ultrasound reveals a grandDAUGHTER after raising 3 sons, there are lots of sweet and excited tears! I had NO idea how emotional it would be to know my "man-child" is becoming a father....and to a little girl at that!

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  10. I hope you loved this little piece of Texas while you were here. It is my home and I heart it so!

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  11. You know what I learned? That through sister's writings, you can meet them in real life and feel like you've known each other for years. Yup. Thanks for that!

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    1. You girls were like home to me!
      Loved meeting you so much.

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  12. I learned that I am even more crazy for you in person. And two, homemade salsa tastes even better at 1:30 am. And just when you think you're really not an emotional person, you can cry and cry some more.

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    1. You DONT EVEN KNOW.
      We are total, "I'm not really like this!" soul sisters.
      xo

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  13. I just wondering if you reaaaally have a man voice.

    Also, travel fear is setting in for me too. In 32 days I'm going to be driving through New York City, for the first time, in our car.. and I will probably die.

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    1. I mean, people have shown a certain degree of...surprise....upon hearing my voice.
      I have lengthy vocal chords, okay?
      And seriously, everrrrryone was all, "You're SO tall!" to which I reply, "I always tell you guys I'm tall", to which they reply, "But we didn't believe you" (or something like that) :)

      Godspeed in NYC. I feel faint just thinking about it.

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  14. I learned that I miss your posts (aka wisdom & humor) when you travel and that I rely on them like soul food. And your voice is lovely and soul soothing (per Jeanne Oliver video!). http://ordinary-creative.com

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  15. it's funny how you left out the part about introducing yourself to me twice. and for the last time, no, i wasn't wearing a hat.

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    1. Hahahaaa!
      I thought about this again today and laughed. It was/is totally going in another post.
      I'm so legendary! I guaranteed you'll never forget ME! :D

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    2. so i'm reading.... 2 hours south of shannan.... or whatever....
      you're at iwu? i work down the street from campus, and my husband is the director of financial aid... :)

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  16. if i told you that the main reason i even showed up at hope spoken was to hug you, it wouldn't be a total lie.

    miss you, and your gingham, like crazy!

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    1. We did NOT get enough time together!!
      (miss your gingham more)

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  17. i hunch over in pictures like- i feel too tall compared to normal people kind of weirdo- too! i wish i had the nerve to go to a women's conference all by myself--- never gonna happen! plus i always hear about all these great things after they happen- hope spoken--- who knew. i can't remember the last time i fixed my hair for three straight days!

    this weekend i hiked with my boys; we told indian stories, and played and picnicked on rocky cliffs- and i was reminded to soak in it. to bask in the smiles of little boyhood, to tell them more stories, to carry tired legs while i still can, to be thankful for what i have not regretting what i don't.

    (and i totally rocked an adoption support, graphic tee with my red converse this weekend for the first time in months--- it's so dang cold where i live- the cons are made for warm weather!)

    thanks for being real.

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  18. Just wow. Next time I promise not to chicken out about asking for your picture. We can hunch together.

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  19. I learned that a WASP can be a godmother :)
    and i felt the ugly cry on the inside when my brother's wife asked me to be godmother to Clara. i've been researching it like crazy; maybe i'll write a brochure... the WASP's guide to being the best godmother ever.... with future editions that address hot topics like... what do i do when my presbyterian neighbor offers me a glass of wine & what to do with an elementary education degree when you realize your principal is TRULY and surely the enemy...

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  20. this post just makes me more sad that i wasn't there…missed out on such an amazing weekend.
    i should have told you that paige's last name doesn't have a silent k. oops.

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  21. I learned that God was in charge of seating charts you reply to a blog post and next thing you know the blogger has randomly sat next to you!! And your heart beats faster and you are desperately trying to think of something smart to say to her, then she introduces her self and Boom He proved Himself AGAIN! I also learned that my Smart Phone is not that smart I took notes on it (I was not using FB or IG while you were speaking) and went to read them and must have hit some shortcut keys because one second I was reading them it slipped and the next thing I know it says NO NOTES what is this about Mr Apple! Loved my time in Dallas!!

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    1. You are the SWEETEST! I wish I hadn't been so shy for so long.
      I always assume people don't have a clue who I am...so it took me off guard when you did!
      Let's chat longer, next time.

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  22. I'm not a big blogger/writer but I just had to jump on here and tell you how much I LOVED hearing you speak at Hope Spoken last weekend. You are so cute and witty and I just fell in live with your heart for people. You are such a blessing. :)

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    1. Oh man, thank you so much!
      I didn't feel cute or witty while I was speaking.
      I felt a bit scattered and rambly.
      So thank you!!!

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  23. REALLY glad i was brave enough to come talk to you and hug you, and REALLY wish that i could've talked more. i will come to Indiana someday soon and drag you out for chips, salsa and thrifting. that is a THREAT. ;)

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  24. Ok, ok. I realize I'm freakishly late to the Flower Patch Farmgirl train. But WHERE have you BEEN all my life? I was laughing out loud so hard at the first half of this post. I think it was infinitely funnier since your actual voice was reading it to me in my head (and not a man voice, btw.)

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