Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Decadent Fresh Banana Muffins

When I look at this photo of my swoony, Decadent Fresh Banana Muffins, I'm reminded of everything that's right in the world about bananas. And trust me, the list is short.

I'm not usually a banana fan. A bananafana, if you will.
They're just too...sticky? Gummy?
It's a texture thing.

Isn't that what we're supposed to say when we don't love a particular food?

That's what my husband has taught me. About beans and peas and POTATOES.
Come on, dude. Potatoes?
Are you really trying to single-handedly remove life's two thriftiest foods from our repertoire?

What if we move to a developing country someday? What then?
"Rice and Pizza" just doesn't carry the same punch.

But these banana muffins are so dang good. Like, creepy good.
Hand to heart, they're the most light, moist, dreamy banana muffins in the nation or even the world.

I call them "decadent" because they're pretty much dessert.
I call them "fresh banana" because they have an amazing fresh flavor, unlike any banana-bread type foodstuff I've ever eaten.

Do people still use the word "foodstuff"?
Did they ever?

When I look at this photo of my decadent fresh banana muffins, I'm reminded that I'm not that great at food photography. Foodtogrophy, if you will.

I should learn sometime. Brush up on my skillz. You know.
The only problem is, I'm too busy eating decadent fresh banana muffins.
And pineapple with mangoes.
And leftover pecan pie.
And (wait for it) chips and salsa.

About that.

I can't stop. I think I have a problem.
(You've been waiting for this, haven't you?)
I feel compelled to personally eradicate all traces from my home.
And then immediately replace it.

My condition took on a whole new level of concern when I went to bed at 1a.m. last Saturday night and fell asleep pondering the question of eternal significance: If I could only have "chips and salsa" or "sleeping in", which would I choose?

I chose the salsa, man!

It took me way off guard, because I have wished every single day for the past 37 years that I could sleep in.

This is dire.

And salsa's healthy. We've already established that.
But it takes a whole lotta chips to get that salsa where it needs to go.

True, I eat obscene amounts of vegetables.
But I get the visceral shakes when I think about eating potato chips in large quantities.
And then I go stuff my face with tortilla chips.

Which leads me to this: Should I have my cholesterol checked?

Nevermind. Don't answer that.

When I look at this picture of my decadent fresh banana muffins, I think if how difficult it is to keep food in this house, thanks largely to the tallest kid we own.

We went through 2.5 gallons of milk in less than 72 hours.
I hadn't really noticed until he proclaimed yesterday, "I'm really on a milk kick!" endquote.

I think I've mentioned that this familial adjustment has caused me to closely examine some of my selfishness. You probably thought I was being some weird kind of humble.

But the truth is, when it comes to food, I'm prone to pushing the vibe that I was raised in the wild with my thirteen older brothers, foraging for and hoarding foodstuffs lest I perish.

I'm working on it.

A few months ago Robert asked if he could "cook a steak" as we were leaving for Monday Night Church.

Of course I said no.
Then I felt like a big fat jerk, so I said yes and ran out the door before I had the chance to think it through.

He called later and asked where I keep "the baking pans".
I didn't ask.

Long story longer, I came home that night, the kitchen was a mess, and there was no trace of my beloved sirloin in the wreckage.

In his words, "Yeah, it was good! I put it in the oven to bake, but blood started to come out, so I knew I needed to boil it for a while. Then after I boiled it, I cooked it the rest of the way in the oven." (emphasis mine)

I need to stop talking about this now.

When I look at these decadent banana muffins, I wish I would make them more often. Every single month, without fail.

True, they're borderline "cupcake", in terms of deliciousness and fat content.
But I like to tell myself these are healthy fats.

Decadent Banana Muffins
  •   2/3 cup sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 1/3 cups flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
  •  2 mashed bananas (ripe)
  • 1 cup sour cream (I use regular, not light)
  • 1 large egg
  • 2 tablespoons melted butter   
  • 2 tablespoons canola or vegetable oil
  • Preheat oven to 375. Spray 12 muffin tins or place papers in tins. 

    In a small bowl, mix 1/4 cup of sugar with 1 teaspoon cinnamon.  

    In a larger bowl, mix flour, remaining 1/2 cup sugar, baking powder, salt, remaining 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, and walnuts if you're using them. (Golden raisins are good in these, too! They get super plump and juicy and delicious. Trust me.) 

    In another small bowl, mix mashed banana, egg, sour cream. Add melted butter and oil.

    Stir wet ingredients into dry ingredients and mix lightly, just until combined. 

    Distribute among 12 muffin tins. 

    Sprinkle cinnamon sugar on tops.  

    Bake for 18 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

    Stuff Your Face.