Saturday, November 23, 2013

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I've spent almost five years blogging, detailing bits and slivers of this life, wrapping them up in context, chiseling the stone so these moments stay right here forever.

It's something most people probably can't understand, this compulsion to document, to share in the town square. But because I do this, because I was meant to do this, it's woven into every thread of the fabric. This online space circles my mind in a hundred different ways, sometimes orbiting from a distance, sometimes pulling into the atmosphere, just one keystroke or shutter-click away from memorializing what matters to me.

I sailed away yesterday with some of my favorite people, the camera stowed and ready, and it never made it out of the bag. It was the kind of living that's so easy to share, dripping spectacular city lighting and bluesy ambiance. Of course I thought about grabbing that camera, but sometimes you just don't want to break the spell.

It snoozed through life-changing guac and tacos that still have me quaking in my boots, through drizzled streets and holding hands, second-hand J Crew marked $15 that made me thrilled for its simple existence, no purchase required.

I sank down into stadium seating while everyone around me stood, where it was just me and the cello, a handful of rockers with simple lyrics that stirred me up because they slowed me down. I listened in storylines and thought in promises.

I've got nothing to show for my last 36 hours, not a pixel to be found.

I have tired eyes and and a settled soul, but there's no good way to show you. I have new hope for my future. My confidence in all the weird things has been restored, or at least spit-shined.

You'll just have to take my word for it this time.