Monday, September 9, 2013

Great Dinner Experiment


Friends, I've shimmied my way up to a whole new level of kitchen crazy. I tried to warn you.
Some people stress eat. I stress cook.

Look, we all have our gig.

Silas marched around for two solid years like a tiny, stick-legged Asian tyrant, bossing everyone around and screaming in our faces.  I choose to exert control over my unpredictable and oft-chaotic world by forcing pints of grape tomatoes, raw slabs of beef, and  half-cabbages into my culinary regime.

And though I'm not here to point fingers, I've gotta say, my way might be superior to Siley's.

With mine, we all win.
Even our muffin tops win.

I know you remember the Grocery Store Confessionals of yore. Well, don't be too attached, because they're never coming back. I thought they might. I missed them, too.

But the Littles are larger now and we have a 19 year old up in our digs.

I spent $200 in one day last week and I swear to you, my eyes teared up in the Kroger check-out as I fished 4 fiddies and a ten out of my much-maligned cash envelopes.

So just nevermind the GCC, okay? Seasons change. Feelings change. It's been so long since I found you yet it seems like yesterday. Eee-ay.

Complicating the issue (in the very best way) my Mama sent me home last night with easily $200 worth of toilet paper and mac 'n cheese, and canned beans, and frozen beef.

So I have no idea what my food is costing me right now. I don't know my way out of this budgetary maze. I only know that God keeps providing.

The end!

Okay, no. I'm not done.

See, I found yet another way to scratch my food-obsessed itch. No longer will I be detailing every dime I spend at the grocery.

Instead, I have enacted a one-month dinnertime experiment in which I planned our dinners for the entire month of September. Not too crazy, except 1) I've never done this before 2) The plan required many rogue stacks of loose-leaf magazine tear sheets placed haphazardly around the house in categories no one but I could interpret  3) I may have screamed "Don't touch the stacks!" a time or two and 4) All of the recipes for this month? Brand new to me. (Except for one, but who's counting?)

Exhibit A:

The Meals
(shot in very low light, my apologies)

Exhibit B:

One of several analog spreadsheets.
Digital is so 2013.

Why live for today when you could be rocking 1998? That's what I always say.

Be honest, how are you feeling about this experiment? It might mean a lot of food talk and recipe sharing. Are you good with that?

In closing, I'd like to share the first page of this beloved yellow legal pad.
I was so happy to find it.

It's Ruby's original brain-child, her first short story, written last December, with no help:


 Allow me to transcribe:

Shannan Cory Calvin Silas Ruby. I love my family. This is my brother he is kind of weird to me. He is! He is! I wonder why he does that cause he does! Why he does. He does. He does. Stop said sister. I told you to stop you to stop right there. I don't want you to do that. Yes that. That yes. I want that is mine. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes I am your mother.

Hilarious? Terrifying?
I say both.

Amen.