I feel like I'm in a season right now of coming to bare-knuckle grips with the fact that a good life just doesn't have to be rosy all the time. It was never meant to be. The shadows have their own allure, and even when they don't, they sure help me appreciate the sunshine.
It's been a mixed bag of a week, but aren't they all? Or at least most of them? I'm starting to embrace the mixed bag. I'm giving myself grace for the times I get grumpy or yell. It doesn't have to mean anything dire when I get my feelings hurt, crave quiet, long to be understood, feel whiny or envious or tired to the core.
All it means is that I'm human, and I need Jesus.
God has given us some really raw gifts in the past few years and they have changed the trajectory of our hearts. They have even, it seems, changed the pitch of our sanity. But welcoming heartache, frustration and drama into our world with open hands has also come with an unexpected benefit. It has given us a new quadrant of shared experience with many of the people around us. True, it's a very small quadrant of overlap, but trying to craft a life bearing the illusion of ease makes even less sense today than it used to.
Not everyday is a chocolate chip cookie kind of day, you know?
So I just keep taking them as they come, praying that they keep on adding up to the life that I love so much, the one that lifts me up and grounds me, the one I wouldn't dare spruce up, even if I could.
It was just all-around good. And not only because we went garage saleing.
Confession: I like garage sales, but I'm not die-hard, or even close. I don't go very often, and when I do, I don't normally find super rad junk. But we drove back to our old stomping grounds, just half a mile from our farmhouse, and inched our way up the mile-long sale.
I found all of this for....$9!
Some of it I actually needed - like the pizza cutter. And I've been wanting a tea ball forevs. (Is that what it's called? Tea Ball? For any who have been wondering, it's official: I do not hail from a royal bloodline.)
The pie pan and frames will one fine day become part of my over-hyped collage wall.
The camera was just cool looking. The keys and doily are for a project. The Erlenmeyer flask was for Sarah. I like to use the playing cards as gift tags. The fabric gave me that internal flea market zing! feeling when I saw it. And the softballs (there's one more but it rolled under the backseat of the van at a sudden stop) will go in basket under the green table.
I also found Ruby a winter coat for $5. The hood fur is kind of ratty, but a deal is a deal.
I won't lie, it was fun to spend a little pocket cash.
Ruby found a $0.50 stuffed pony with sparkly feet.
Silas had $1 to spend and here's an abridged list of things he asked to buy:
1 boom box
1 four-armed floor lamp
1 telephone (corded)
30-odd video game components
2 desk top computers
1 strand of Mickey Mouse and Friends Christmas lights
4 extension cords
1 bread machine
1 antique washing machine
Forget about thinking it's funny and just ponder how many "Nos" that was for my wee son and his legendarily volatile and angsty disposition. I'm all about saying "Yes!" when possible, but sometimes the cards are stacked against me and we all suffer for it.
At our very last stop he struck gold with a spray bottle and a little baggie filled with a bunch of random
I can't begin to imagine what today will hold, but all I can ask for is the grace to push myself and all of my nonsensey human junk down far enough to see the gift of what it is - a day with my amazing children, a day partnering with the best man on earth, a day spent in a cool home and the warm sun, a day where all I'm asked to do is feel the love that surrounds me, and reflect it back.
Happy Monday, Beauties.