Monday, April 8, 2013

On Infertility and the Truth about Women



Week after week we sat on the edge of the tiny sofa in the doctor's office. Cory held my hand. We kept it light, willing success to float down from the drop-ceiling tiles and settle on us through the sheer force of our collective certainty. It was no big deal. He would fix me.

Around week four or five, Doctor Jan peered at me from behind his desk, his eyebrows stitched together in concern. His tired eyes narrowed and the words tumbled out, "Why aren't you pregnant yet?"

His question hung in the air for a moment, then fell around me like an omen. {Click here to continue reading my story.}



40 comments:

  1. You make magic with words...

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  2. Dang, girl. That's good stuff. I didn't know that part of your story. You are one beautiful, whole, life-giving woman!

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  3. Your story is mine.

    What a journey it's been.

    I'm still waiting for my Littles but have faith they're coming!

    Xo

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  4. Probably one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.

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  5. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. Your words show that. I love your family. God had other plans for you for sure. It had to be hard in the beginning not knowing what that would be but look at you now.

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  6. Shannan..
    not a lot of unnecessary words from me:
    this beautifully told straight from your heart!
    I think it to be your best yet!
    Love, hugs, smiles, tears..
    always! Loui♥

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  7. i commented there too, but this is truly the most beautiful thing i've ever seen written about infertility. i don't think i've ever cried reading about it before-even after seven+ years of not getting pregnant. out two girls are perfect, and we are grateful to have them as daughters.

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  8. I think this is the most beautiful post I have ever read on any blog. I love your sentiments and I love your heart.

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  9. I loved this post. You are indeed a life giver...

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  10. Beauty-filled. A since I can't hug you in person I am sending you one virtually.

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  11. I'm so moved by your words, Shannan. Thanks for sharing this.

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  12. very moving. i love you and what God is doing in and through you. thanks for telling us about it so faithfully.

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  13. So vulnerable, beautiful and true.

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  14. ohhhh FPFG. can i just say this?? my body bears babies like the textbook says it's so. and then some. but that does not a mother make me. your dear sweet heart. i remember learning mothering all the way from your crazy days of little tyrant silas. to the model of love you've born for your big kid. girl... you are teaching us mamas how to love like mamas... and i'm grateful for it. xox

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  15. What courage it takes to share the most vulnerable parts of our lives, and you are definitely a mama with courage. Beautiful and powerful. Thanks for sharing your story : )

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  16. Your words are beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

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  17. LOVE THIS! We are studying Ruth this month and as I was preparing my lecture I was struck by how hard her life was as a woman even in the midst of God's will. She was widowed, barren for a long time, a foreigner, and poor AND she did not have the benefit of reading the end of her story before it happened. God's plan for her was WAY bigger than anything she could have planned or dreamed for herself but it was also accompanied by a lot of heartache.

    Anyway, as I studied and then read your post they connected. THANKS!

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  18. Beautiful. I wonder if you had not become experts at adoption that maybe you might not have been so quick to let the big boy who needed you so much call you "Mom" and "Dad." God trained you in adopting the little ones because he knew the big one was going to need you? Your family is so perfect (in God's way) that it's spilling joy on other families!

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  19. Your writing is magical. I was in Michigan City this past Saturday and silently offered up a prayer for Robert.

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    1. Thank you SO much for this! We were in Michigan City on Saturday, too. :)

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    2. If I ever see you "around town" I'll be sure to come up and say hi. It will be like a celebrity sighting for me. ;)

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  20. You have such a way with words. That was just so honest and beautiful and real. Thanks.

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  21. We have to love these bodies, don't we? They are the vessels that will carry us through the hard times. Thanks for being unafraid to share what's on the inside, too.

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  22. This was beautiful and the title took me for surprise. Infertility. I have never associated the word with your life. Your life brims with so much life and vitality.

    The life in your words and your choice to follow Jesus wherever, whenever.

    The seeds you plant with your God given words that bring forth life in the reader.

    The way God brings your example to mind all the time. Driving the van down the road at 4:23 on a lazy spring afternoon. Conviction. Examples of those following Him. Your life. Beautiful stuff.

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  23. Very beautifully written. I enjoyed that and love reading your blog daily.

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  24. I feel privileged to have a little window into your life and I look forward to your eloquent words each day. Today's post especially has touched me. I struggled with infertility, but with God's grace and timing; I now have six kids ages 16 months to 18 years. Three girls and three boys lots of loud and lots of laughs. I can't imagine life any other way.

    Loves and hugs to you and yours!

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  25. I often tear up when I read your blog posts. You always say something that touches my heart. Today's was probably one of my favorite, maybe because when you post about your journey I get to feel a little piece of the real Shannan inside. Beautiful.

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  26. i also commented on emily's blog - this is beautiful - flat out beautiful!

    thank you, this blessed me!

    xoTiffany

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  27. Wonderful post Shannon!!! I had no problems getting pregnant for our first child but we tried for 7 years for that same success but only had 2 miscarriages to show for the time and tears. My husband finally tiring of monthly tear fest suggested that if we really wanted more children why not adopt? Why not indeed!! I am now the mother of a 27 yr old married man who just had his first child and the blessed mother of a 10 year old and 8 year old that came to us on airplanes from China and S Korea. I agree that we have the children that we were meant to have. I will tell you I never felt "more" like Brett's mom than my girl's mom because I carried him. I just am so grateful I got another chance to be a mommy!!!

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  28. The world is a better place because of you.

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  29. Oh my gosh - that was beyond beautiful to read!

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  30. beautiful story...
    God is using every piece of it.

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  31. Wow, Shannan! Everyday I look forward to your posts and grieve when there isn't one and this is another one that blew me away! God is working through you and you're changing lives, mine included. I hope that I can one day be as Christ-like and giving as you. God bless. :-)

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  32. I read this over at Emily's place and I have now taken a little time to peruse your life. Love this, your funky socks, your humor... I feel like I found a jewel today here at your place and I'll be back!

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  33. I asked Dr.Oloye to cast a twin spell. I have fertility problems and have been trying for almost 2 years. I began to give up hope. I came across Dr.Oloye and thought it was worth a shot. I was a bit skeptical at first but ordered a triple cast, so it didn't exactly break the bank and I decided to ask her for help. I wasn't sure what the outcome would be but within a few days I received a a pretty Rose Quartz' Fertility Pendant and a simple verse. I did what the instructions said. I had a scan last week and I'm 9 weeks pregnant with twins, I cannot believe it. I want to say a huge thank you. I often emailed for advice and Dr.Oloye always replied with a straight answer. They are my miracle babies.You have nothing to lose with her and we would highly recommend her work on:extremesolutiontemple@gmail.com

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