Sunday, January 6, 2013

Why You Don't Really Want To Have Dinner With Me

Some of you have said you wish we could have coffee/lunch/dinner/salsa together and I couldn't agree more.

But it only seems fair to let you know what you're signing up for, should that day ever find us.

Last evening we discovered that we had tonight completely free. It crossed my mind to just loll around and relax, but then I remembered that it's more fun to loll around with friends. So we invited some over. "Come at 5:00! Dinner at 5:30. I'm making soup."

Then I proceeded to stay out until 1 a.m.

Not even playing.

It's one thing to stay up til 1 a.m. Another thing altogether to stay out until 1 a.m. For me, staying out means I need at least an hour to unwind once I'm home. And I might feel compelled to fold some laundry before bedding down.

I slept fitfully, dream-dancing to Sarah's karaoke renditions of "Cherish", "Hey Ya", "In Da Club" (big mistake), Sweet Child O' Mine, and the list goes on...

Something you should know: I do not dance. Nor do I karaoke. I'm shy, okay? And awkward.

The point is, morning was a slap in the face and we settled for family church in bed. Calvin quizzed us on Bible trivia, crafting each question carefully. "Ruby, what town was baby Jesus born in?" "Daddy, how many times did King Pharaoh not let God's people go?" (I totally did not know the answer to this and started getting nervous cause it was my turn next.) "Mommy, John 1 says 'The word was with God and the word was God.' What was the word?" I got all clammy in my pojammies. He seemed satisfied with my answer.

Then Silas led us in Jesus Loves the Little Children and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Ruby prayed that we would have a fun day tomorrow, which is what she prays every. single. time.

Hallelujah. We brought down the house.

Then we went out for tacos.

Cory headed for the jail with Ruby, Silas had his turn at Nanas, Calvin came home with me to get dinner started.

I made this bread, because it's just what I do. All the dang time. It makes me feel like Wonderwoman.

Then I retired for a "short nap".

When I woke up, it was 4:40. Company due in 20 minutes. Dinner not even started.

Long story short, the lone onion in the house was rotten.

Dinner was about an hour late.

The kids went off the grid and required emergency PB&Js.

Dinner was disorganized and on the couch.

I didn't help Timi serve her ahmazing dessert. (I think I shouted unhelpful things from the couch..."The spoons are all dirty!" "The bowls are over there!"  "I'd like ice cream with mine!", etc...)

My kids were maniacs. The men were ever-so-slightly inappropriate.

At the end of the night, our dear guests confessed that our drinking glasses reeked of BO. We couldn't deny it.

(Note to self: Do not house plastic cups with the cumin or guests will tell you your drinking glasses reek of BO.)

The end.

Be honest, you're reconsidering now, aren't you?

I understand. Sadly, I do.

PS - The pickles have exactly nothing to do with this post, I'm simply paying tribute because it's only January and we're down to 2 quarts.

PSS - I need urban gardening tips, STAT!

PSSS - Gotta run. Mr. Carson beckons.


  1. Interesting about the cumin. My cups won't fit in the spice cabinet. They were stinky awhile back, though. We discovered it wasn't the cups, themselves, but the ice in them. We dumped all the ice in the auto ice maker, cleaned out the container, and stuck an open box of baking soda in the freezer. Seems to have worked. I'm lame in the same ways as you. I'm a poor planner, when I plan, which isn't often. I'd say I'm a terrible hostess, but I tell myself that it's about my company and not the food (or lack of) I offer. Which may or may not be true. Perhaps my people leave rolling their eyes. If so, their fault for coming back over and over. Especially b/c my furniture and carpet is DISGUSTING. I'm not even kidding. I just told Becky last week that I wasn't willing to have her family over for dinner until I get a new sofa. I've seen photos of their house; I can't do it...

    1. My cumin won't fit in the spice cabinet. :/

      Though upon further review, I managed to squeeze it in. (After double-bagging it.)

      Throw a quilt over that sofa and party, sister!

  2. I want to come over for dinner : ) Or have you come here. Will you please come for dinner? This is what I can promise you. Gary won't be home until about 7 or 8. Kaish will have at least 3 friends over and they will be wrestling in the living room, the kitchen, the garage and the stair banister. I think they try not to wrestle, but they just can't help themselves. I will have no freaking idea what to make. I do have a beer bread kit that I got from one of those annoying house shoes a million years ago. I remember really liking the bread and then finding out it was like 26 for 2 loaves. Oh well. I bought it any way. At the end of the day I will just call out for chinese and sushi and hope gary gets home in time to pay the delivery person because you know I never ever have cash on me. We will have the funnest night in the whole world and I will invite you to sleep over just so Calvin can lead church in the morning for us : )

  3. You don't scare me. Last week I was 45 minutes late to my own party. No drinks made and the girl came with appetizers AND desserts.

    Obviously, she is NOT the mother of a two year old. That's all I have to say about that.

  4. Funny!
    Seriously almost lol'ed from the yelling from the couch.
    Good stuff.


  5. You. Make. Me. Laugh. Thanks for telling us that you are just as normal as the rest of us! ~Kim

  6. You yeast! I yeast! Superwoman is an understatement for the way it makes me feel. My mom says I'm the only woman this side of 1800 doing it. I'm happy to tell her you do it, too. I would so still come. I roasted root veggies with cumin and coriander tonight (divine!) and so I'd never even notice your BO glasses... Plus my 3 maniacs love pb&j's and bible trivia. So we're good there, too!

    PS, I love/hate Chelsea, too! Why do the funniest ones have to be so...anti-so-many-good-things?! But sooooo hilarious?!

  7. now, this is WHY i'd love to hang with you...except for maybe the b.o./cumin glasses...too fun! thanks for the smiles : )

  8. Oh, I don't know. If you really ended your evening w/ Mr. Carson, then I'd say you have things quite right!

  9. The fact that your friends will tell you to your face that your cups reek of BO probably mean that you have some quality friends. I think that's pretty great.

  10. Okay but seriously, what was with that wedding editing? I mean, "I'd hate to be predictable"...soooo I'm driving in a car five seconds after I hit the alter? I blame american television. I think I may have to order the british uncut version (sort of sounds like drugs doesn't it) (maybe not but its 12:04 here and I'll have to be up at SIX o FREAKING clock because the baby hates me)
    I totally invited friends over for lasagna once and i tried those no boil noodles. I didn't boil them, they didn't bake. after about TWO hours of waiting for it to be done we ordered out. Blast.

  11. Oh my gosh you're funny. And speaking of which, we should have you guys over for dinner again soon!

  12. People now expect to show up and find dinner unfinished at my house. I lie to myself and say that them helping me in the kitchen builds community and makes them feel useful. I'm 94% convinced that they'd feel awkward if they showed up to dinner and everything was ready to go...

  13. Sounds like the perfect night with friends!!! Who needs em if you have to have everything go perfect!!! I'd much rather yell things from my couch as my friend dishes out her dessert!!! lol sounds like fun! You rock!!

  14. You made me snort out loud. Especially yelling from the couch. So glad you have friends that will tell you that your cups smell like BO. Less good friends would just talk about it after they leave :)

  15. I don't know the answer to that one either. Loved your home church. Cumin does smell like Bo. Yucko.

    So whaddidya think of Mr. Carson. I keep wondering if Matthew will bail them out? Probably not but I'm wondering. Oh and in the preview there was that whole veil being thrown over the railing - I thought we would get to see what that was about. So many questions left unanswered.

  16. Whew. I had to pop over to that bread link just to make sure you weren't making rosemary rolls for anyone but me. Cheesy garlic bread is okay, but had it been the rosemary rolls, we would have had a serious problem.
    Carry on, Farmgirl.

  17. If you are serving homemade pickles, I’m there. BO or not. I will eat your pickles.

  18. i chortled when i read the cumin/bo comment. hahahaha. i LOVE indian food, but i have a friend who HATES it, and i think it's cause that spice...

    yay for downton abbey. i have to figure out what channel it's on, cause when i finally took the plunge this past summer, i watched two seasons in the course of three days, On Demand and On Computer. i only came up for air to look at fireworks.

    and yay for naps, even ones that disrupt the dinner party. sounds like everyone had a great time- AND you were rested!

  19. The picture of the pickles lured me in. Nice bait And I think cumin smells like BO too... I thought I was the only one!

  20. Every Christmas, our family and the youth pastor's family gets together and makes some kind of homemade gift to give each person in our church. The past two years have included cumin in the recipe, and we have laughed to ourselves as people walked in to the body odor smell of the church foyer. Tastes so good, but smells so bad...

  21. hmmm....i don't do well with BO.
    i know, i will just bring my own cup when i come over. :)
    problem solved.

  22. Plastic cups love to smell like ANYTHING gross.
    It's about time we jump ours and spring for a new selection.