Thursday, January 17, 2013

Love Collides - An Adoption Lullaby

Tonight was a good night. It was rowdy and slow and just right.

Silas stood on a chair by the counter while I made dough for cinnamon rolls (I think I killed it. Not in a good way.) while Calvin sat at the island reading facts about the Korean war to me from the book he checked out at school. Ruby stood behind Calvin, channeling a little JLo while she watched her (questionable at times) moves shadow-dance across the wall.

My kids are a little bit like me. There are pockets here and there, and we go looking for them. We all have brown eyes. I had the same problem as a child that Calvin has - reading so fast that you don't always absorb or retain what you're learning.

But mostly they are nothing like me. Not in appearance, personality, quirks, or sensibilities. It's a crap-shoot and it's so much fun.

We're a family. Tough as nails, together to the end.

God put us together in such an amazing way, he plucked us up and tied us together, knowing how each piece would complete the puzzle.

Adoption, for all of its roadblocks and heartbreaks, is the gift of a lifetime. I had no idea when we went to that first meeting how this would come to shape our lives and mold our worldview. We just wanted a baby, man.

But now we get it on a different level. Now we force ourselves to face the plight of the orphan. We won't look away. We lock eyes with the flinty truth that there are children tucking themselves in tonight, all over this world. Or maybe they're cared for and loved tonight, but it's temporary. It was never a real solution. They don't have a family. They don't have a future.

They might be disabled. It doesn't matter.
They might have scary things in their medical history. So what?
They might not be the cutest or the smartest.
They might be hard to love.

They deserve a family.

And that is just one of the reasons my mind is changing about what it is that I deserve.

People ask us frequently if we'll adopt again. Our answer varies, mostly based on the kind of week we're having with our wiliest. The truth is, only God knows and He'll tell when he needs to. But our obligation is still to the orphans and our kids aren't orphans.

So it's important for us to support friends and family taking the leap of a lifetime.

I remember carrying home overflowing bags of one-piece outfits from the baby shower for Calvin and bawling my eyes out because now I had 30 pastel summer outfits that he might never wear, but I had no idea how I would pay to get him home and into my arms.

Of course, it came. It always comes, one way or another. In our case, it came in the form of a ridiculous, perfectly-timed pay raise. God provided when it seemed impossible.

But I personally like the idea of coming alongside a family and making my love and concern tangible. I like the idea of grabbing hands and showing them that we stand with them, come what may. Sometimes we are able to give more than others, but God honors the intention of the heart. Little is much. 

Lunch at Cracker Barrel!

My friends Kevin and Layla are on this journey right now and it thrills me to walk with them. They're in that excited-trying-to-not-be-overwhelmed stage, where the whole future lays just out of view but they know it's good.

Kevin wrote and recorded the most beautiful lullaby/love song to their future child called Love Collides. It made me weepy in the very best way. They are accepting donations for their adoption fund in exchange for a MP3 download of the song. You can listen to it here.

I want everyone I know to hear this song, but even more, I want everyone I know to find someone scraping everything together to give a child a forever family and support them. The amount is irrelevant. Your out-loud support will bless their socks off and you'll be a part of something so much bigger than yourself. Win-Win!

Mad Love to You Tonight,


  1. Awesome post! I've been writing about this on my blog as we are taking our first steps toward adoption now and are finding what you already know: it is expensive! But we are trusting that the money will come.

  2. Beautifully said!

  3. I really love adoption. It is pretty near and dear to my heart. I am glad God laid it on yours. Super excited for your friends. May their adoption road be a blessed one.

  4. Lump in my throat reading this. I have friends trying to adopt, jumping through hoops, raising funds. Thanks for reminding me to do more for them - pray, give, give, give. ANd thanks for reminding me to wait on His timing for my own family to be extended through foster care/adoption. I thought we'd be on the path by now, but we aren't. Not for lack of wantint to or openness to it - but we have some bumps in the road right now in our starting the process.

  5. Thanks for the nudge to visit The Lettered Cottage and support their adoption dreams! Beautiful song!

  6. I agree that NO amount is too small in regard to helping! Have 40 cents? Give it! I'll check it out. As a future adoptive parent, I LOVE that you are helping. Also..reading about little ones putting themselves to bed at night just makes me heartsick. Sigh.

    You're a good egg, Shiny.


  7. This was a beautiful post. My husband and I are in the process of adopting our first child. It's definitely a
    Crazy beautiful ride :)

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  9. yes to all of this.

    love you, farmgirl!

  10. I love their blog. Been following them for a while now.

  11. You're such a great friend.

  12. Amen and amen! Love these words. Win-win for sure.

    Also, how true about the little girl dance moves! Lee told me I had to do something about Jillian's because they would NOT be cute when she's 15. Ha!

    Be honest. Are you 3 always this gorgeous and accessorized or did you know you'd be posting a photo on your blog? Tell me it's the latter. Tell me.

  13. i've decided to just start saying it.
    i want to adopt...madly.
    maybe i don't know what i'm getting into, but i know my God does and He will see me/us through.
    special needs have always had a special place in my heart, but who knows, right?
    all i know is i am willing, and He is able.
    there are children out there who need families...we have so much to give.
    i really want Christ to be able to impact these littles for eternity...not that He needs me to do it, but again, i'm just willing.
    there. i said it. did that just make sense?
    deep sigh.

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  15. Love that you share your journey with us and love that you are helping others on theirs. (Such a cute picture of you and Layla!) And I love that others are joining in the giving to bring more little ones into their longed for families. God is good.

  16. So glad she has you... A friend who gets it is priceless.

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  18. Echoing what Farmgirl Paints said: I'm so glad I have you, too. :-D
    I will cherish our friendship forever, and can't thank you enough for being so radiant. You truly are like a sister to me, and I'm so grateful for the Love that you share. Thank you for blogging about our adoption fundraiser, and thank you to everyone who has left sweet comments here. Kevin and I appreciate your kindness so much!!


  19. i have leaking eyeballs after reading this....
    my heart CRIES out for JOY that God is giving Kevin and Layla a child....but my heart is SCREAMING that God is giving a child a forever family.

    You're a dear friend to her....and I know she knows it.

    I can't wait to see how God brings them together!

  20. Flower is a beautiful part of our life. Thanks for this blog.

  21. Reading through your post, your family seems like very happy and loving. I envy people who have the courage to adopt a child. A lot of kids out there are in need of a family. For those who are willing and are able, then you should. Taking responsibility for another life and making sure that he grows up as a viable part of society is a big task to accept, but showering them with love and giving them future is something that they deserve.

    Ferdinand Draper