Thursday, January 3, 2013


I was still in bed this morning at 7:55.

Back up.

I went to bed around 1am last night. It's becoming a problem. I fear it's a problem that shant ever be cured. Because while it's true that I love sleep, I really don't like night sleep. I'll take my sleep in the ayem, hours thank you. I'd rather be awake before midnight.

Unless you're talking a mid-day nap.

Okay, this is getting complicated.

In a perfect world, I would go to bed at 2 a.m. and rise at 10. Ish. All you morning people? Pipe down. I don't get you.

So, after ruining a perfectly good late-night by watching The Words (don't do it!) I slept like a champ and lolled around in bed for a while after Cory and Calvin got up because it's Christmas vacation and I could.

I was quasi-awake when I heard the thunder. Followed immediately by Silas's screams of terror. (Dude hates funder). He ran in and hopped into my bed and I snuggled up with him and sniffed his neck and told him not to be afraid of the thunder. It's just a sound. It can't hurt you.

Then I wondered why it was thundering in December.

Then I tried to remember the 5-day forecast.

Then I tried to decode the relative lightness of the sky from the shroud of my darkened room. (Rain? Really??)

Then I remembered thunder snow and thought maybe we were getting pounded by a rogue snowstorm! A Nor'easter!

Then I remembered the book I read about "the slowing", how the weather patterns fell apart and the birds stopped flying. Prophetic fiction?

Then I hopped out of bed and pulled back the blind and saw...nothing.

Then Sarah accidentally called me after issuing a text message related to my ill-fated viewing of The Words. We almost never talk on the phone, but who could walk away from an opportunity like that? So we talked.

Then the electricity went out thanks to the garbage man who backed into the telephone pole behind our house and snapped it clean off.

And thus began my day.

We ate cold cereal. I meant to write 3 lines to Robert then accidentally wrote 3 pages. I showered at my in-laws' house.

Then I took my boys out to the Chinese buffet.

Calvin thanked me eight or twelve times on the way there. "This is the best day ever!" And he knew we were going to the hospital next. (I want to be him when I grow up.)

And now, a word on my boys:
They fight. All. The. Time. Like, I worry about it sometimes. They are a vicious cycle. I tell them they'll be best friends someday, but I secretly wonder. It got so bad earlier in the week that Cory made them sit on the couch and hold hands and say nice things about each other. "Silas is really good at being mean to Howard (the cat)", etc... It took a little time to get their heads in the game.

Last night Ruby was squirreled away for an over-nighter with Nana and Papa. I was there boiling the noodles when Calvin came in and whispered, "I don't know what happened...all of a sudden, Silas asked me if I would drum with him, and... we just got along." Friends, I almost cried. But I was too busy beaming. It's a miracle. It is.

And today? It continued. (They say catastrophes are bonding experiences. Thank you, garbage man!)

After lunch we spent 3 hours at the hospital. Calvin was typed today, for a potential future bone marrow transplant*. It's one of those things I've been nervous about off and on for oh, 5 years. I knew it was coming. It's not imminent, but this makes it one step closer to the front door of my cozy reality and I'd kind of like to bust its knee caps.

His doctor talked me through some of my fears. We agreed to settle on praying that whatever needs to happen will happen. I pray a lot of those prayers and I'll be honest, they always seem sort of...unnecessary? But then I remember that it's always right to talk to Jesus about what scares me. He's not waiting on my permission or my directions. He doesn't need me to say a certain thing. But He does like it when I wrap my fear right around Him.

While we waited we ate popcorn and I read an interview with Chelsea Handler. Don't Google her. What you don't know won't hurt you. But if you do know, then you know she's insane. An interview in a lady magazine is probably your best bet as far as a relatively benign encounter goes, though there were a lot of ***s.

She said the best thing ever that I can't stop thinking about: her friend from college based her Sociology thesis on the unique and inspiring dynamics of Chelsea's family. She interviewed Chelsea and each of her 5 or 6 siblings and asked them at the end who they thought was the favorite child. EVERY ONE of them named themself. THAT is my new Mama goal. Hands down. So thank you, Chelsea Handler. You are dirty and I love you.

I convinced myself (with some help) on the drive home that I deserved to not cook dinner tonight.

But I really just wanted to be home, so I warmed up left-overs for the kids.

And then I remembered that cooking is something I mostly love to do. (And, you know, I had already thawed the fish.) So the two Littlests (Calvin is having his turn at Nana's tonight. Best day ever!) went to bed at 6:55 and 7:10 and I made fish tacos and guac for me and my boyfriend.

I think I have now blogged about this meal 3 times. I don't care. I can't help it. It's too pretty and much too zesty. It is a force. A wonder, even.

Right when the day was better than it ever should have been, Cory says to me, "I like your badge." I looked down and there it was. Inspired by the police officers who lined our street saving all of humanity from a dangling live wire. My police badge.

I had been wearing it for about 5 hours and totally forgot.

I wonder if Calvin's doctor liked it?

In case you care (and you really should):

FPFG's fish tacos
Dice one mango, half a peeled cucumber, a quarter of a jalapeno, 1 Tbsp onion. Stir together with the juice of half a lime, salt, pepper, and chopped cilantro.

Mix one finely-diced chipotle pepper in adobo sauce (add some extra sauce but not too much or your esophagus will incinerate) with about 1/3 c of plain Greek yogurt or sour cream.

Spray skillet then add thawed cod fillets. Sprinkle with chili powder, garlic powder and cumin.

Warm the tortillas.

Chop some purple cabbage.

Assemble tacos. Voila.

PS - *Not on the registry? Go for it! It's super easy. Click here.

** All book links are Amazon affiliate links.


  1. You're just trying to lead people to Jesus. Specifically, the sickos who will google "fish tacos." We've talked about this before, but I get it. You. I mean, personally, I'm trying to convert the sickos who google for images of panties. They get my toddler wearing seven pairs of cartoon unders over her sweatpants.

    Like the badge. Like the notion of every child thinking (s)he's the favorite. My mom had a fail in that regard (My brother's the favorite!), but she's near-perfect, anyway: especially b/c I agree w/ her; he's my favorite, too.

    Last thought: lmk if it snows one week from today. There's an old wives' tale about that, I think.

  2. It is far too late up in these parts for me to be cracking up with your everyday life, but here I am on the couch at 11:43 ayem trying to be quiet and not giggle too loud or else I'll wake up Siley's partner in crime- and nobody wants that.

    Don't forget- my Anna will get tested for C if needed. She was not even kidding. She's the best.


  3. P.S.- You should know that I am aware it's actually pee-yem, but it's far after my bedtime which makes it my ayem.

    Also, I love thee.


  4. Oh I am so with you on this one! Definitely a pyemer here!! And laughing my pyeming pants off!!! You're the best fish taco makin', badge wearin', non-ayeming, mommy out there! <3

    p.s. and just to make you feel better, my dear, I have three boys and they fight like cats and dogs, but they love each other for real and what you said about making them hold hands and say something nice about each other--it works!! I started doing that over here, too, and I'm reveling in their cheeky grins and sideways smiles!

  5. fpfg!! i recently thought of you and calvin because i got a call from the asian bone marrow org that i'm a match for a 2 year old boy... it made my heart ache for the boy and for you guys... i'm starting the process next week... i shall be thinking of sweet, brave calvin!

    1. I cannot tell you how this thrills me! Your words made me tear up. Thank you to the moon for being so brave! There's a Mama somewhere thanking God for you right now. xo and keep us posted!! And another xo just because. :)

  6. morning sleep lover here. early rising, chirpy morning thanks.
    but my son is one, so nevermind.

    love you, and your fancy badge and tacos.
    praying for y'all xo

  7. This: "whatever needs to happen will happen. I pray a lot of those prayers and I'll be honest, they always seem sort of...unnecessary? But then I remember that it's always right to talk to Jesus about what scares me. He's not waiting on my permission or my directions. He doesn't need me to say a certain thing. But He does like it when I wrap my fear right around Him." Amen, sister! With. You.

  8. awesome— the fish tacos, the badge, AND the chelsea handler family tidbit.

  9. I love this your blog...that's all :)

  10. When you write things like "if you don't know her, don't google her" you know that just makes me want to google her, right? Cause I have no idea who she is. But I'll take that quote and store it up... right now we've still only got 1 after 5 years, so he just might always be our favourite...
    And I get that fear - my son had open heart surgery at a week and your line about he doesn't really need to hear what he's going to do but just wrap our fear around him totally resonates. Oh and I registered on the Cdn Bone Marrow registry in Sept. Ya never know!

  11. Ok. I love this post for a lot of reasons, but fish tacos are not one of them. Sorry. My pallet hasn't matured yet.

    The police badge rocks. Just proves you are a force to be reckoned with.

    Glad your boys got along and Calvin had "the best day ever." It's nice to have those every now and again. He's an amazing kid.

    And A.M. is for the birds, quite literally.

  12. I say a great idea on's called the "get-along shirt" It's an extra large tshirt that they both wear. One puts one arm in a sleeve and the other puts their arm in the other sleeve. You should look it up...the faces on these kids are so funny. But really, you shouldn't worry. My boys are 3 years apart and they HATED each other until my oldest left to go to college. Now they are very, very close. My youngest is in college now and when he comes home he stays with his brother. His older brother also gives him money without ever telling us. Very sweet. My sweetest memory ever, (melted my heart) was when my oldest was leaving for college and we walked him to his truck (and crying) and my youngest who was 15 at the time walked up to his brother and they shook hands!!! (crying now) So really, don't worry....they will be close. They are 26 and 23 now and do everything together.

    1. Am I the only mom who can't wait for the next fight to inflict the 'get-along shirt?' Best. Idea. Ever! We've done 'say ten nice things about each other,' and my recent favorite, 'read the family rules sign out loud and then tell me if it says "have a rotten attitud.e, lie to your mom, or torture your brother." They're in for some serious parental glee with the get-along shirt! Oh, there will be pictures! I may or may not make them eat dinner together in it!

  13. I love your crazy self. I am not a morning person either. Who is, besides kids? I love Calvin (Best day ever!) I would love to be him when I grow up too.

  14. totally going to go check out that registry!
    my niece received a heart transplant at nine days old...we will forever be grateful for the family who donated their child's heart.

    thanks for popping over yesterday...made me smile. :)
    also...i'll take those fish tacos ANYDAY...if your ever in Wisconsin...

    my boys fight everyday, too...but they love each other(i think) and i pray that they will grow up to be besties...something i don't have with my sister.
    by the grace of God alone.

  15. i happen to secretly adore Chelsea Handler. I just can't help myself. I also adore you, I just do. You make me feel like sunshine when I read here. I'll be praying for you and Calvin. I love Calvin.

  16. i'm all about your sleep plan! i get so excited when you're posts pop up late, because i'm always up! :) and sister, the fighting about does me in some days. i should try these tacos, maybe it will help :)

  17. I always tell my girls that whichever one I am speaking with is my favorite. And that my love can be earned. Unload the dishwasher? You are my very favorite. And I always answer "she's your favorite" with you're right I love her more. I enjoy myself.

  18. I have been on the registry since 2007. My best friend's son had a BMT at CCHMC that saved his life. So, so thankful for his donor. I've been contacted once as a possible match, but it never proceeded past the initial call. :(

  19. can you just call me each day to tell me what your every day is like? because i could read this forever. i love it so much. minus the hospital/bone marrow part. : ( saying prayers for your calvin man.

  20. My boys fight alot too--I think it's normal, and it seems to cycle. (They are 2.5 years apart). Their most hated punishment is sitting down, facing each other, holding hands, and saying something nice about each other. I should use it more often than I do because it is HIGHLY effective! I love that you do it too!

  21. My man-children are 25, 22 and 18 and they still wrestle and argue but they DO love each other. We were just on a family vacation and they actually went in to a bedroom and had a closed door conference about some 'junk' and they all came out nicer people. I am not sure WHAT took place in that room, but there was lots of laughter and conversation and vows of secrecy! :-)

    I have been on the registry for 2 years and would LOVE, LOVE to be the match for someone in 2013. Had never really thought to pray that direction, but maybe I should!

  22. My boys were 3 years apart and were not close when they were growing up. I worried they would never be close. Now that they are adults they are really close. I just love seeing them together. So don't worry it wil happen.
    So sorry that Calvin is having trouble. I know you mentioned this to me a long time ago. I'm sure that it is hard to have to go through all of this as a mom.
    And I am loving your badge. Makes me laugh thinking of what the doctor thought, hah.
    Prayers and (((((HUGS))))

  23. I am a night owl by nature though I can't always live that way. It's just so quiet. A good time for the thoughts in my head and realities of the day to meet in prayer to the One who makes a difference. I will add your Calvin to my list. Then I might make fish taco's. Who knows?!

  24. thank you for the laughs tonight, that was good!

    calvin is such a doll, praying for your little man.

  25. Replies
    1. Really!???! haha, thanks! It feels like the furthest thing from fascinating. :)

  26. I'm diggin' the police badge! Your posts always, always make me smile : )

  27. love that you admitted that the boys fight.
    my boys do too. they always have. well, not always. it's a very love/hate relationship.
    i've been telling them since they were 2 & 4 that they were best friends. i'm going to keep telling them until they believe it. it doesn't help that they are polar opposites. oh well. opposites attract so whatevs.

    i also am honored that you would share some of your sweet boy's story with us. praying for this future potential bone marrow. mostly praying God gives you guys peace as you wade through those waters. he has your boy in his hand...he had him way before you had him. i know you know this...but if you're like me in the slightest, you need a constant reminder.

    love your police badge and your fish tacos. the end.

  28. I used to be a night owl. Now I have a 6-week old that loves to eat, so gone are those days for now. What a sweet babe she is though..I'll return to my late nights (by choice) someday! I admit, I was shocked to hear your boys fight. Guess I join the ranks of one of " those" readers who assumes everyone else's life, house, children are pretty darn perfect, except for their own, lol. Thanks for setting the record straight. You almost have me convinced to try a fish taco. *almost.

  29. Still praying for Calvin friend. Just wanted you to know!

  30. that sounds like chelsea was loved. i think i screwed that up already. bummer.
    but i can keep trying for my kids to think they are the favorite.
    i love when suddenly my kids get along. it's lovely.
    just like your badge.