Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Road Trip with Mr. Lee

Tomorrow, Calvin and I embark on a solo adventure...to see his doctor in Cincinnati. Well, it could be worse. For one thing, Grandma's coming with us. And it's just a check up and there will probably be a needle involved but only one needle AND...the doc talks in the most fantastic accent ever and smirks as he describes himself as an "Arrogant B*****d". Gotta love a cussing pediatrician.

I like quirky people. I just do.

He's also brilliant and trying hard to fix Calvin (this is what Calvin has) and when we talk to him, yes, he makes me really nervous sometimes, but I always wear my poker face and I sort of love it that he's busy saying things other than, "Calvin is a mystery" or "We're not exactly sure what to do with Calvin." He still says those things, but he combines them with tangible ideas and he's not freaked out by ALPS because he happens to be the expert on this disease in the nation. He talks about other ALPS patients as if mine isn't the only one on the planet. I find it all immensely comforting. (and, well, scary-ish, but I'm glass-half-full)

Before we hit the road, there are a few important news bulletins to share.

#1 - I have slept a combined total of 8 hours for the past two nights. I'm a born night owl, but this is historic. I"ve been wide awake until the wee hours. (I'm calculating the possibility that sleeping 60-odd straight hours over the weekend might have something to do with it.) Last night I finished season 1 of Scandal. Quit your lives, people. Quit. Them. Or stop sleeping or call in sick or something. If you're funny about calling into work when you're not actually sick, come on over. We'll share a Dr. Pepper and before you know it you'll be looking like a chipmunk in dire need of a face-lift and you'll have ample time on your hands for watching TV from a reclined position.

#2 - About my illness. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers and...remedies. I'm up and running as of yesterday, but my throat is still angry as heck, the glands still garner me nervous glances and my left ear has entered the revolt. Meds are on the way.

#3 - Seeing as how I had such a busy day ahead of me, I opted to spend my morning watching youtube clips of Swingers in my pajamas. Just seemed like the right thing to do. I was all geeked up on Money Shot Monday*, which got me thinking about the movie Swingers, which inadvertently inspired the arcane title of the link-up. I thought it might be helpful if I posted the video of the scene...As it turns out, the scene has some, uh, salty language. And while I've already shared my perspective on cussing a time or two, I'll just save us all the trouble tonight.

In lieu of the clip, I shall provide my own synopsis:

Mikey: (in a bar) I can't do it. I just can't.
Trent: Go give the attractive lady your phone number. You can do it, baby.
Rob: You're so money and you don't even know it.
Mikey: Really? You think so?
Trent: You've got every quality a beautiful brunette baby could ever ask for. You're like Ryan Gosling...even though he's only 11 years old right now. That attractive lady across the bar would be lucky to have you. You're money.
Trent: You're so money.

That's pretty much exactly how the scene goes down. (clears throat) Does the "Money" thing make perfect sense now? No? Not at all?

Well, does it help to know that Vince Vaughn basically invented Money Shot Monday? Is that at all enticing? He'd probably link up if he knew about it.

Sidenote: You've seen A Cool Dry Place, right? Have mercy. It's so money.

Now I've got Vince Vaughn on the brain and I can't find my way out of this post...

I guess I'll just cut my losses and leave you with the funniest scene in Swingers. It's hysterical because it's so very, painfully real. I'm giggling just thinking about it.

You're very welcome.

*MSM link-up is open every week through Friday. You've still got time! I read every single post that's linked. Join the party.