Sunday, October 21, 2012

Who She Is


The first time he told me about her he said she was "mean". I couldn't meet her, because she wouldn't be nice. She was mean to everyone. It's just the way she is.

The first time I met her she looked at me just a little. She let me into her space and asked no questions, but the air in the room shifted and I caught it - the girl wasn't mean. She was wounded.

If you line her life up with mine, they might meet in the middle, but just barely. There's no overlap. It should never make sense that we're friends.

But we are anyway.

In just a few months, we've moved up her list and she's moved up ours. We help each other in different ways: I run her all around creation; she puts life into perspective for me and cracks me straight up.

We wedge ourselves into the tiny house for the party with all her confusing, mish-mashed family and somehow, despite the fact that it doesn't make an ounce of sense, it feels like a foregone conclusion. It seems like maybe this was the way life was always supposed to be lived.

We were meant to be family. We're so very different, yet here we are, huddled up together, looking for the very same things, finding some of them through each other.

Let me tell you, she's everywhere. She's at the CVS and in the pick-up line. She's giving you her change. She's pushing a stroller down the street. She's avoiding eye-contact, but if you come her way, she won't back up. She has few resources and a laundry list of grudges. Maybe she has a few tattoos and there's a good chance she's got smoker's breath. She has pain that rages down below sea level; she's got her reasons. She's been mistreated and abandoned by almost everyone. You can't even imagine, but just wait, she'll tell you all about it.

This girl? She can start to save you, if you let her. But you've got to go find her first.

26 comments:

  1. Your 31 days is getting to me every.single.day. Getting to me in a good way that hurts. This day, like all other days has opened my eyes just a bit more. I am reading "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick and am amazed at how God is putting what you are sharing together with what this author is saying to make me brave. Still trying to determine the vision, but I know that my answer is yes to whatever it is. Thank you for sharing and helping all of us to be a little more brave. :)

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  2. You are so beautiful. I want to be you when I grow up!! I love, love, love your heart.

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  3. Straight up the way it's supposed to be. Because, yes, she is everywhere. And I desperately need her to show me how abundant God's grace is.

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  4. If I were any closer to the esge of my seat I would fall off.

    xxoo

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    1. edge. dang it. that's what I get for typing in the dark.

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  5. Beautiful, Shannan. Both your prose and your heart.

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  6. You are SO right....she is everywhere!!!! I went out to run a quick errand last week and it ended up taking me 2.5 hours! :-)

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  7. All I can think about is myself one day {seemingly} not too long ago. So glad for grace. Beyond glad.

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  8. Soooooo Good!!!!!!!! If we only slow down enough to see her.....thank you for cracking us wide open and making us want to be brave :)

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  9. Your insight is amazing!! LOVE to read your blog, soooo inspiring. Thank you!!

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  10. I have met her I just never realized it. Now I will. Powerful post Shannan.

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  11. This is breathtaking, gave me goosebumps and nearly brought me to tears (but I held them back since I'm at work). I am her, I was her anyway, and now I desperately want to find her. Your 31 days are truly helping me find God's calling on my life. I've been too wrapped up in my own self, but am finally willing to give that up and do as He pleases with my life.

    Thank you for your willingness to share!
    Blessings and love to you!

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  12. excellent post, miss shannan... i recently started volunteering at a local elementary school. they matched me w a girl who just needs a stable adult in her life. she's teaching me quite a bit. about life and about me.

    enjoying your series!

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  13. I'm not sure I can tell you just how much I loved this. We have someone like that in our lives now (although your description is off, same pain) and I just can't believe how much I needed her, I thought she needed me, I never saw the flip side coming.

    thank you!!

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  14. I hope I meet my own "her" someday and I pray that I am prepared and don't pass "her" up. God send "her" to me at that devine moment and I pray I don't screw up my opportunity. I love that you are Jesus to her and you are both blessed because you have found eachother. I am proud of you girl! Someone gave me this quote and I have it by my computer screen....."be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." Isn't that the truth!
    xoxo
    heather

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  15. I found "her" in June and she has changed my life in more ways than I can count. Thank you, Lord, for knowing exactly what I needed to grow closer to You.

    Thanks again for another amazing post, Shannan!

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  16. lovely.

    i use to be her. i was changed by the embrace of someone like you.

    i know her. she's related to me. pain deeper then sea level. i hope she finds someone with whom she can open up and find grace, see Him.

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  17. Absolutely beautiful, I send you gentle hugs xo

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  18. these friends make all the difference in our lives...all the difference.

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  19. Beautiful writing. I was this "girl" . Now I have adopted a girl like this one. God Bless.

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  20. We have helped many troubled people over the 20 years of our marriage. Honestly, until this past move, we were determined to keep going. But this move was different. We found "that boy" who was troubled and needed a bit of reaching out in love. We invited. We treated to impromptu outings and loved him. But he had that terrible hardness that couldn't be softened. Our continued love poured out on him hardened him like Magic Shell on ice cream. His hatred outweighed any love we showed and he ended up shooting my teenage boy in the back repeatedly, sniper style, because, he said, he was jealous that my boy had a permanent place in our loving family and he... didn't. We couldn't fix him. He nearly destroyed us in spite of our loving efforts. He nearly destroyed my son's belief that love can soften any heart. Our son has changed and so has our outlook on reaching out. We're tempted to go "back to the farm" instead of "into the front". We also had unknowingly chosen an area where lawsuits are rampant and many people around us are using any reason to sue someone who has two cents to rub together "just to make ends meet." So, that includes walking on their lawn, having a stray ball tap their house, or stories of imaginary injuries during a neighborhood ball game. What a strange dichotomy of worlds here... a family willing to reach out amidst a community willing to yank, rob and kill that family. yikes. We are moving away ASAP. I teach my kids that sometimes there is a pearls before swine moment where you have to define a line between helping those who are desperate for help and praying for those who aren't. Lord, give us wisdom to know the difference!

    Shannon, please choose your lost kids carefully. Some need you and some need only your prayers. This isn't meant to scare you, I just wish someone had told us that anything is a possibility.

    ~Kate

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  21. Wonderful post and the way you have described here is wonderful. Have a look at it

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