Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Where it Really Started

I believe that God puts people in all our lives that He wants us to be in relationship with. He wants more than our casserole or our free babysitting. He wants us to fall in love with them.

Fortunately for all of us, the path to falling in love is often paved with the ordinary. For us, it was plain white rice with soy sauce and Ramen noodles. Birthday dinners and work boots. It was an empty bed in our big house. A ride to school. An enthusiastic cheering section for backyard acrobatics.

There were things these kids needed and, wouldn't you know it, we were able to help. But love seeps past the edges of the tangible things that bring us together. It filters through them. It's what our hands are left holding when the meal is over and the lights are out.

Our two big kids are both 18 now. They say they're grown. But just like my Mama probably didn't believe it of me, I refuse to believe it of them. They're still babies. They need things. There's a heap of stuff they still don't understand. They walk through life and it's all up-hill, often by choice.

Remembering back to the days I met them, I couldn't have imagined what would come next. I never dreamed that I'd still be cooking them food and kissing their babies' cheeks.

I had no idea that I would fall in love with them and call them my own. I was just having them over for dinner back then. No big deal.

Here's the thing: When I say God brought them into our life, it did require a little of our own movement. He wasn't blindingly obvious. We had plenty of outs and we had people reminding us that we were free to skip it.

God just nudged us over that way a little. He didn't push. We didn't receive "A Word From The Lord". Cory had started working at a school filled with teenagers who needed some people in their corner, so we took one out to dinner and invited another one in.

At the time, we were waiting for our house to sell, waiting to find out where we would move, waiting to see what our real ministry would be. We could have called it a season of rest, but we just weren't in the mood to rest and it seemed like there might be a better use of our time. So we actively pursued some people. We tracked them down and rested when we could.

And yes, of course it was all God. He was the one worming into our heads. It could only have been Him whispering for us to go there. But we never had that clear sign. So we made a choice to act in a way that we knew He would not find fault. We did the doing and trusted that He would keep being his same bad, sovereign self through whatever happened next.

The irony is that now, here we are, in our new community, and these big kids are what keep us busiest. These big kids that we thought were sort of there to keep us occupied until the main thing happened ended up being the main thing.

So I wonder what life would look like now if we had just stayed quiet and waited for what God was shouting about. What if we had opted out of His tiny whisper? How many times have we sat waiting, and what (who) do we lack now as a result?

I should know by now that Jesus is the King Supreme of backwards.

I should know that His faintest whisper sometimes brings the loudest change.