Friday, October 12, 2012

Step Into the Small

I send an SOS text to Cory, "I feel shy and weird here", because it's true, I do.

This conference stuff, it weirds me out a little. It sets me off-kilter. I don't like fighting for space in a conversation. I don't want to work the room. I don't know the language. My phone isn't even smart.

I really like talking with you, lovelies. I like thinking in print. That's pretty much the sum total of all I know about this blogging gig.

But there's a purpose in being cast out from where I'm so easy in my skin. There's beauty in balancing my universe a little; of feeling the lightness of anonymity and the power of listening instead of talking. 

Through all of the recent change, all of the going, all of the shifting around of my insides, I feel a sure push away from comfortable and into the unknown. I can't shake the feeling that God likes me uneasy in my boots. He holds me tighter when my knees get wobbly.

Everything about Him tells me less is more, but can I really trust that?

Can you?

Can we trust that in our smallness He's made greater? Can we comprehend that He picks us because and not in spite of it? Can we believe that in these feelings of great dorkiness we will find ourselves in Him?

I'm ready to rest in the magnitude of small.