Thursday, July 19, 2012

A Couple Things

It's gonna be a long night, people. I've made a discovery: I require copious amounts of silence or near silence each day in order to function on three out of four cylinders. {Editor's note: Are there 4 cylinders? Too lazy to Google.} This is the only explanation for why I've been staying up until 12:30 or 1:00 almost every night. It's all quite twisted, really. I'm so exhausted that I have no choice but to stay up late and decompress.

It's been a difficult summer, okay? Sleep just doesn't seem to get it done like words on pages and reality TV and, well, you do. (yawn)

Although I gave up Staying Up Late for Lent and felt like a brand new Farmgirl. 10:30 was the new midnight, baby. It felt oddly...restful.

But whatever, because I also fell behind in sanity a little, so it was a bit of a mixed bag.

Thank you for listening, and God Bless!




Okay, no. Not done. Let's shake this down numeric-style.

1) Yesterday Cory took the van in for a new tire. Then he found out that he needed a second new tire. Then he needed some kind of bolt things replaced. Then he needed new brakes. Then he handed over his other arm and one leg and drove home, only to discover that a third tire had fallen ill in transit. I'm so for real.

It reminds me of the time Cory wrecked our vehicle. Every. single. year.

He called a few weeks ago and said, "Now don't worry, everything's fine, but someone just broad-sided me and the driver door won't open." To which I replied, "Well, as long as the windshield wipers are still stuck in the vertical position, it's all good. Dinner at 6!"

2) Don't buy old cars.

3) Unless you share Cory's luck. Then go on ahead.

4) I fell victim to a strange condition a month or so ago in which one random taste bud would become inflamed. The pain was akin to a paper cut. On my tongue. I'd talk a little funny, but when I inspected my tongue (you know I inspected it), it appeared to be fine. Until the next day, when I would wake to find the afflicted taste bud black as all death. We did this for roughly 30-odd days in a row. My sources reveal that it's probably viral. I'm still leaning toward the diagnosis of Salsa Mouth.

5) Did that totally disgust you? I spoke to Cory about it a couple of weeks ago and Robert screamed, "Sick!" It felt a little fun to gross him out.

6) Remember when I wouldn't shut the heck up about Sacrilege and then Barefoot Church? Cory and I are heading to Ohio for the weekend for our church's national conference where Hugh Halter and Brandon Hatmaker are both speaaaaaakingggggggggggg! (please read in your best Oprah Winfrey voice) I call them Haltermaker. So far, they appear unmoved by this demonstration of admiration and deep, abiding respect. I've been thinking about what I might ask if I get an opportunity to actually speak to them. Here's what I've come up with so far: "Is living with Jen sort of like a big, rowdy party with good food and stretchy pants? Do you think she would be my best friend if I moved to Austin? Is she in the market for someone to brush her hair or pour her tea or wash her whites? What's her feeling on Best Friends Forever jewelry?"I think Hugh is confident enough in himself not to feel too left out.

7) It rained all last night and most of this afternoon. Hallelujah.  You'd have thought we were all pioneers on the Oregon trail, succumbing one by one to drought and every manner of westward pestilence. Even the corn had given up crying. I knew Facebook would be burning up with "PTL, rain!" updates, so I heeded my natural instinct to be weird and post a joke no one would get: "SO over this rain." Just seemed like the right thing to do. In the end, I was the only one laughing.

8) I was not the only one laughing at this little gem.

9) The rain hurled my two big kids headlong into complete disarray and utter disorientation. It had been so long that they forgot what rain was and how it all worked. They lounged around all morning in fleece bath robes and house-slippers, begging for hot chocolate. Then they finally located a little wherewithal (but just a little) and decided to go brave the elements.

 This was after she had the good sense to remove her zip-up fleece. 
And yes, that is a turtle-neck.

10) Silas was free and easy for exactly five minutes this morning and he spent it hauling a kitchen chair to the book shelf, tippy-toeing to reach up to a very high shelf, finding a bottle of nail polish I'd hidden (from him), and painting his big toenail green. The fumes game him away. I've gotta say, Short Stack's got some mad pedi skillz.

11) He's also started saying, "Mom, can I get my dress on?" He doesn't mean he wants to wear a dress. He means he wants to get dressed. I, however, choose to hear it as, "Yo, Mama. I'm 'bout to go get my dress on. After that, let's get our grub on. Maybe later we can get our swim on, G."

12) In additional to my tongue ailment, I have reason to believe that I'm allergic to watermelon. Because life really isn't fair and was never promised to be. (See #1)

13) I picked up a gallon of aqua, turquoisy paint tonight for our island. Yellow lost, my friends. But was it really ever a contest? Yellow almost never wins. True story.

13a) Silas pronounces yellow "wellow". swoon

And now, I shall retire to my boudoir where I will spend the next thirty-to-eighty-five minutes reading one of the most gripping novels I've ever read.

(How's that for a cliff-hanger?)

Seacrest OUT.

47 comments:

  1. LMAO right now. Hope you have a great night - I'm with you, kiddos in bed & unwinding to the internet - Next up, tv time! Hope tomorrow is a better day...for your car...

    Love your blog.

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  2. I'm the same way! I (an introvert) stay home with my 3-year-old and 9-month-old, both of whom display extroverted tendencies like their dad, so I stay up late just to have some time to myself. I _need_ it. My husband can go straight from activity to sleep, so he thinks it's interesting that I can't just shut off like that - I need to wind down. So I totally get your need to decompress!

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  3. Thanks for the midnight laugh!!

    I'm the kind of friend who will tell you when you have spinach in your teeth.... so as I am here reading your comedy sketch I feel compelled to tell you there are two (not one, but two) typing errors. You're welcome. ;) And I think this entitles me to have a early look at your novel, for editing purposes, of course.

    Have a great time at conference!! xo

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    1. What is the other typo? I tried finding it on my own, but I lost steam at number 4. This post is too dang long. How do you people DO it??? :)

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  4. okay, read this: "one random taste but would become inflamed"

    obviously you meant to write "bud." but i'm so happy you wrote "but." (and please don't tell me this is going to be on the overuse of quotes blog!) because in my head it says "butt." and it's 1am which means i find this hysterically funny.

    and yeah, i stay up late. we need a support group already.

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    1. Typos = fingernails on a chalkboard. Bud since it brought so many of you such joy, I have no choice bud to leave it.

      BFF,
      FPFG

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  5. What a random, hilarious post! Except for the watermelon allergy.....our daughter was just diagnosed with that last week! (I didn't know anybody out there was allergic!) Absolutely stinks to tell your girl on a nice hot July day that she can no longer eat such thirst-quenching food. Saying prayers for you on that one!

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  6. if you move to austin to be jen's new best friend, then i will move to austin to be your new bestie...okay.
    hang on for teh ride, sister!

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  7. I'm dying over your Jen crush.

    And I really want to know what you're reading. Could it be Unbroken? I read it recently (right after 7, actually), and it's definitely gripping. But if it's something else, I'm in need of another gripping novel.

    P.S. So sorry about your inflamed taste but. :)

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  8. I must admit that the typo "taste but" made me laugh too...except its morning not late at night and I have to go to work...thanks for the unintended laugh as well as your usual humor!

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  9. No, it didn't totally disgust me. I have that happen sometime. Now thinking "taste but" did kinda gross me out a little.

    What's the novel? You can't do that.

    Midnight is my bedtime unless I'm sewing then it's 1 or 2 a.m. My eyes pop open at 6 a.m., too. Always.

    Baby Ava arrived on July 8th. We are in baby heaven.

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  10. oh heavens I do the same thing every single night. We are so desperate for sleep, but I get all high on my "freedom" and stay up late . . . like last night when adam and i went to the midnight showing of Batman (it was really good) and then got home at 4am, only to have Caden wake up at 6am (and it was MY morning to get up with them of course. Lame).

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  11. Allergic to watermelon? Let's hold each other and cry. There's more I'd like to say about all the other information, but I'm sorry. I have to grieve the watermelon a little longer.

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    1. You imply that I should stop eating watermelon just because I *might* be allergic????

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  12. "Summer Night Chill Out" is what I've deemed it. I don't put my kids to bed until past 10 though, so I'm delirious while I recharge. While I understand your ailment (happens when I have too much salt/sour), I'm laughing because of a typo (jr. high is rampant in my house and it's affected me!)"taste but". Haha. I'm sorry for your tongue, but it might just be offended that you're calling it names. I'm sure they have feelings, too. Your kids and the rain plan--looks to me like they've confused rain with SNOW and Ruby is preparing for a blizzard. Hot Chocolate in the rain? Hmmm. And Siley. Can I just have him? I need someone to get his "dress on" around "here".
    PS...the quotes are just for you.

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  13. Your post made me Laugh Out Loud. It's such a gift to be able to write in such a way that brings humor to life!

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  14. I just want to say. You bless me. In a profound & deep way.

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  15. Is it too much pressure to ask you to post every day? I find that your honest posts have the power to make me laugh hysterically or cry when I need to or to challenge me to walk more faithfully...so you can stay up late every night if you need to. :)
    So I have lurked on your blog since your 2nd time in Korea adopting Silas, when I needed some adoption blog homies. I have a Silas, too...(whose name I picked (in part) so I could call him Siley). Thanks for emptying your thoughts for us to read and for sharing your tragedies (allergic to watermelon?) and your heart, too.

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  16. you are just plain goofy. i love that about you. :) your tongue thing kinda did gross me out...but in the same respect, i'd like to look at it. i'm gross like that. soooo, ya. happy day to you :)

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  17. I've personally dubbed Mrs. Hatmaker "Jatmaker". She also appears unmoved.

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  18. my 2.5 year old says "pollypops" instead of lollypops...makes me smile every time!

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  19. I'm seriously exhausted after reading this. Also, Jim had a tire blow out this morning on the way to work. I told him when he called to say he is going to get a new tire later this morning that there is no way he is walking out of there with ONE new tire. The question is 2 or 4. And also? I need 4 new tires for my car I've been told. Only they're special, big tires. $1000. Yep. I've put it off for almost a year but after the tiny amount of rain we got yesterday caused my tires to spin for approximately 20 minutes at a light that had just turned green, I realized I won't be putting that off for much longer. Add in the post vacation air conditioner that went out and the stove that went out and the MRI that had to be had and now when you open my checkbook, it cries. Okay. I feel better now. I hope my comment wore YOU out and now we're even. This too shall pass. Right? Right?

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  20. You crack me up, Farmgirl. In the best way! And also, randomly, I have been getting my read on with Kay Wills Wyma's Cleaning House book. (I saw that here, no? I have totally messed up your stats opening each recent post to see..but if you didn't recommend, maybe you'll enjoy, too?)

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  21. one question. are YOU into BFF jewelry? :)

    i loooove reading your posts because i'm almost always sitting here laughing out loud with kids surrounding me asking, "what?!" it's awesome and i love it.
    guess what? i bought teal paint yesterday, too(and a teal gnome from walmart ???).
    i cannot wait to see your delicious island in it's teal glory.
    and i have no idea why i'm telling you this besides the fact that when i sit down and read your blog, i feel like we're having coffee and that you can totally relate to me.
    xo

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  22. 4 cylinders...you are correct. with only three firing it makes for a tired poor running engine. sorry, auto repair on the brain. can't possibly have anything to do with me commenting from my computer at the shop now can it? :)
    and i'm super excited to see your island , however, you must know that i already had our "new" kitchen all done up in my head in a perfectly aqua, turquoisy paint. just so ya know. wouldn't want anyone to think i had copied. haha

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  23. I would so have laughed at that line on Facebook. I'll have to friend you!

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  24. I would have so laughed at that line on facebook. I will have to friend you.
    xo

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  25. I, too, have to have silence at the end of my day. I'm afrraid I've always been like that, I just cannot sleep after any sort of excitement. Even that brought on by a normal day. Not that we have normal days. I say treat yourself to the silence, Shannan, breathe deep, let your mind wonder where it will, heal yourself before trying to sleep. Love this post, your kids are wacky, in the best way.

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  26. I hate to tell you this, but at the ripe age of 31 I have developed an allergy to hot peppers. You know what life-affirming food features hot peppers? SALSA! GAH! Luckily it's not the throat-swelling shut type allergy yet, but the itchy throat and tingling lips and tongue variety for now. I hope I have several years of pushing the envelope on this before I either A) Give up my favorite food in the world or B) succumb to high-dollar allergy shots, presuming they can be had for such a random allergy.

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  27. My best friend regularly uses "Seacrest OUT" so laugh out loud and "thanks" for "that"! LOVE the Unnecessary Quotes blog! HI-Larious!!

    I also love how your littles decided that the overcast weather meant looming winter and chill. That is SO adorable.

    I require a lot of alone time. I've always assumed when I have kids that I will need to stay up late to have some reading, thinking, staring-at-foot time!

    You have made me laugh..and for that...I thank you.

    HOLLA!

    TT

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  28. You've just described perfectly why I stay up so "late" night after night when I'm "exhausted!" (And cracked me up with that quotation-mark blog!!! I've always said I want to be the editor to the world, because stupid signs like those make me wild!)

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  29. You crack my business up! Are you going to be anywhere near the Cleve when you are in OH? I will come just about anywheres to meet you. Yes. That sounds stalkerish. No. I don't care.

    So are you??

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    1. All I know is, I'm in Ashland. That's all I know. :)

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  30. did you see jen hatmaker's post today?? it's funny because i was commenting on her blog yesterday, and i noticed that you had commented right before me. you mentioned bossy pants in that post, and she wrote about that today!! :)

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  31. You crack me up! :-D
    I'm ordering you BFF jewelry right NOW.

    :-)
    El

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  32. PS- Tell me about your watermelon allergy...sometimes I think I'm allergic to it too!

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  33. Oh, I lauhged outloud! So, I go to bed after the kids are in bed- hubby is always like "you going to sleep?' I dutifully nod yes, then hop into bed and channel surf with the volume turned waaaaaay down= my version of needing quiet. I also go upstairs durin he middle of th day sometimes and do the same thing- mama's ears get too much of a workout sometimes! (I swear, I'm changing my name next week!)

    It is cool here- 70s,- and my 6 y.o. asked me to "put on the fire 'cause I'm cold" yesterday. I told I am NOT lighting the woodstove and to go put on a fleece!! hahaha In July, no less....

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  34. Couple of things...

    I'm sorry about your taste but, too.

    You can never go wrong with BFF jewelry.

    And the aqua paint comes as no surprise after your aqua velva post. :) It will be magazine beautiful, I have no doubt!

    I "loved" that "link". I love sites like that!!! Plus, I knew a pastor once who did air quotes all the time...but he wouldn't bend his fingers over, he would put the 1st 2 up in a V and open and close them. Kind of like a Vulcan greeting of some sort. And he was a very serious man...he literally used to be a judge. But I would want to roll in the floor laughing when he air quoted. (We're Pentacostal, so no one was the wiser.)

    Have a great weekend! We want all the deet's when you return...

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  35. "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon. You're welcome.

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  36. If you only knew the technical devilment I've endured to leave this comment - oy vey! I had the same taste bud thing - it's weird, and makes you wonder how something so small can consume your body and mind. I would always get mine inbetween my teeth and bite it off. For reals. I'm allergic to watermelon too. I smiled real big, and almost chuckled at your FB update about being over the rain, and even had the thought 'oh you' outloud. I'm real stingy like with my FB likes anymore, I don't know why. It's late and I'm staying up. I need the quiet too Shabs, I be needin' me the quiet.

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  37. Dear Seacrest,
    I love every bit about this except the part where you didn't tell the name of the book. I have been reading some really poor things lately and I need something a little more gripping than Take me to the Zoo or If You Give A Pig a Pancake.
    I am grieving for you on the watermelon thing. I adore it. And it loves me too. Except when you give a pig a whole watermelon... things er, backfire.

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  38. So hear you on the part about needing to stay up late to decompress because you're so tired! Prayers for rest coming your way :)

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  39. whenever you blog in list-form, i have roughly 4,386 thoughts in your direction. but in the interest of not boring the earwax out of you, i shall pare my commentage to the vital:

    i totally get ruby's turtleneck/fleece ensemble. it was 78 and rainy here, and todd was all, you're COLD? (with that undercurrent of disbelief i pretend not to hear.) what can i say. when it rains, i don a jacket. it's how we roll, ruby and i.

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  40. Decompression -- I can so relate. I call it "brain space." Sleep is no substitute. The more tiring and hectic the day, the more I need to stay up. It does seem counterintuitive. My husband just has an on/off switch, and it doesn't make any sense to him. I just need a lot of time to think, a brain recharge.

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