Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Mixed Messages


Without permission or warning, Calvin Lee finished first grade. With flying colors. We're in talks about the best ways to spend the summer. As of right now, we're looking at hefty doses of baseball, chlorine, ice pops, sketching in the shade, and grubby feet. Oh, and "Chapter books. Non-fiction."

All I know is, I'm giddy over having more of him for myself for the next eight weeks. I miss the guy. He's the exactly-right balance of inquisitive and unexpected. He's always wondering things. He's our resident expert on many topics, such as ocean life and space.

Last week, I finally tackled a stack of paperwork on my bedside table that threatened to mount an insurgency while I dreamed about flea markets and random people I haven't thought about in twenty-odd years.

Mid-tackle, I found this:


I got a little glowy. My chest may have puffed just the tiniest bit. I believed, in that moment, that the big work was surely done. We are parenting a child who spontaneously jots scripture from memory. I must at least be in the running for Mom of the Year.

You know what you should do when you find yourself in that moment? You should walk away, sister. You most certainly should not keep digging through the stack. I repeat - put the papers the heck down.


Because reality lurks there in the pile, ever ready to slap you square in the mug.

I have no idea how my precious baby child knows about "masash and tatoo". I had never seen his hand-lettered sign in all my life.

But at least it's only a part-time job.

I'm not afraid to admit it - I'm troubled.

Love,
Not Mom of the Year

~~~~

PS - I'm guest-posting today about at Stuff Christians Like. Holla!

42 comments:

  1. Kids say (and write) the darndest things! Enjoy every second of summertime with your sweet littles!!

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  2. hahahahhaha...I'm in love with Calvin Lee and I've never even met him. Would you consider an arranged marriage with an older woman (my daughter, not me, silly.) I have no dowry to speak of but I'm sure I could get my hands on a goat somewhere.

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  3. Oh Shannen, don't you just love those little first grade graduates? Our Gavin is such a wealth of information and wisdom and heart. Something must have been in the water. Love hearing about sweet Calvin.

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  4. I keep trying and trying to get through on that number, but something's clearly wrong. What the heck, Martins? I desperately need a masash.

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  5. I feel like we're friends, even tho your name is spelled wrong. ;) xoxo-ShannOn

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  6. at least it makes the Scripture writing look that much brighter. and omg. stuff christians like?? get out! how'd you know i love that place?

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  7. Oh. My. Word.

    I just spit out my water!! That is so true. how sweet that Calvin is quoting scripture! I love it!
    I have a son about the same age who is as sweet as can be loving and smart... then I hear him sing "I'm sexy and I know it" I gasped and asked him where he heard that... and apparently all the kindergarteners at our school know it due to an M&M commercial? Really?

    One other thing he did once that was funny and along the same lines, was we were at Wal-Mart and he saw a "happy napper" and sang the entire jingle right there. I should mention we don't have cable and we only watch PBS kids... except for at Grandmas

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  8. I LOVE THAT!! YOU DO REALIZE THIS WON'T BE THE LAST TIME RIGHT??
    BUT YOU WILL LOOK BACK SO FONDLY AFTER THEY ARE GROWN AND GONE. ENJOY YOUR NIGHT!! BLESSINGS!!

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  9. i loved your guest post...you can always make me chuckle.

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  10. A piece of the cracker I was eating almost came out my nose when I read masash and tattoo - haha.

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  11. crack me up.
    i love massage AND tattoos. so sign me up.
    also, i love god's word.
    calvin is clearly my people, too.

    love you. miss you.
    how ARE you?

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  12. Thank you, thank you for sharing that! The best part of my day was reading that and remembering things my boys wrote when they were little that made me laugh. Your stories make me giggle and you write like my brain thinks...cut from the same cloth I thinks! Enjoy those lovely, warm, relaxing 8 weeks with all your kids. :)

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  13. Thank you, thank you for sharing that! The best part of my day was reading that and remembering things my boys wrote when they were little that made me laugh. Your stories make me giggle and you write like my brain thinks...cut from the same cloth I thinks! Enjoy those lovely, warm, relaxing 8 weeks with all your kids. :)

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  14. Love it! Happy summer break.

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  15. They build you up and then just as quickly strike you down. Parenting is code word for humbling. Didn't you get the memo?

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  16. Lovely day
    Mixed Messages
    While reading this magical article, I have feel that this blog really has all the quality that qualify a blog to be a good one!

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  17. Thanks, you made me laugh out loud, at risk of spewing hot tea everywhere. Worth it. And parenting is one humbling experience after another. Mine usually involve thinking or saying "my child would never do that". And then, well, you know what happens. Sigh. And my kids are 17 and 20, just so you know it doesn't end anytime soon. :)

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  18. Oh, mylanta, I laughed so hard.That is just way to much...I love it.

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  19. This is HEE-Sterical. What a great kid.
    ~FringeGirl

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  20. so very awesome to know that I ride in a boat with other GREAT women! :) Welcome aboard!

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  21. Absolutely adorable! Put a big smile on my face.

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  22. So hilarious. Hey, the kid at least has entrapeneur spirit in him!

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  23. Please, please DATE and keep those papers!!! They will be priceless someday. Even more than they are now!

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  24. That is TOO funny…….masash and tatoo!!! Oh man that is the kinda stuff you need to remember when times are hard. You always bring a smile to my face. Reminds me of picture my friend posted on facebook of her two boys giving each other a great big hug - so adorable! She wrote, "an hour after this picture was taken Brendan asked me if we could donate Liam." Donate! I'm still laughing about the word choice!

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  25. ha! well on the bright side, i'll bet he specializes in tattooed scripture. sign me UP.

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  26. Where EVER do they get it?

    Yeah, it's only a Fri - Sat gig, so no worries.
    He can still pastor on Sundays.
    ROFL!

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  27. That is HILARIOUS!!! I love how the word tattoo is all decorated with faces, and the scrolly thing at the bottom is so fancy!!! Still smiling...

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  28. SO FUNNY! Doesn't the Lord always do that... just when you think you got it in the bag, He likes to prove you wrong! I dont even know what masash is? Should I?

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  29. There is absolutely no scriptural reference that says a person cannot praise the Lord with all his heart whilst running a weekend tattoo and massage parlor-- NONE. I checked.

    And also? Why have I just now discovered you?!

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  30. When your littles become big, you forget how to read....it took me a looong time to figure our what "masash" was.....duh....masssage!! Enjoy those precious kids, I love that you share so openly. Mine got big and went to college so thanks for sharing yours.

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  31. Ha ha, love this!!! Calvin is awesome. I love that his sign gives a little sample of some of his tattoo artistry. If he likes, he may borrow "Crackhouse of Joy" as the name of his tatoo and masash parlor. What? Too much? ;)

    In the words of my mother-in-law, "sometimes your kids'll shock the stew outta ya!" :)

    Hope you're having a great day! Please keep these coming, by the way...

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  32. Calvin is adorable!

    Is that "massage and tattoo"??

    I am always amazed at some of the stuff Emerson comes up with. I have found pages of songs that he's written out in his bedroom here. If they have bad words in them, he omits the word..but it's still surprising.

    A few months ago (he's nine now) he said "I was a lot cuter when I was little, wasn't I?" Me (horrified) "What? NO. Little kids are so cute because they're chubby. Now you're beautiful!" I didn't want to cross-examine him, but I did wonder "Huh?"

    Biggest surprise: TV Tag where Em yelled out "My Strange Addiction" for a show choice. Most shocking of 2012.

    Holla!! Enjoy your summer. Come to Minnesota!

    xoxo~

    TT

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  33. haha! that is too funny! just when you think you've got things figured out, motherhood springs a good one on you. keepin' you humble!!

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  34. Found you via Stuff Christians Like. Still cackling over Russ Taff. Love this post. Truly, we might be twins. Except for the fact that you're probably about 10-15 years younger than me. So it would have to be twins of spirit.

    Man, that would be an awesome title for a sci-fi novel wouldn't it? Twins Of Spirit!!!

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  35. I'm seriously dying over that note! Please save it for all time and thanks to Mr. Lee for the belly laugh!

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  36. Who knows, maybe "massage" is giving his mom a shoulder rub and "tattoo" is drawing a smiley face on your hand . . . or not?! It sure is funny to see the things kids come up with!

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  37. I would focus on the first paper ;) And I will go check out your guest post!

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  38. That's awesome! That Calvin holds a special place in a little corner of my heart. He is a wonder. Enjoy your Summer. I'm a little giddy with the possibilities.

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