Thursday, April 26, 2012

Hottttt Pocket.

I keep forgetting to tell you about this. Rather, I keep being too lazy to move the pictures from "the little camera" to the computer. I finally whined about it enough that Cory did it. Why do I see this as such a chore? Well, I do. The  process is quite unweildy. I don't mind saying that our previous computer made things simpler.

Aren't you glad you came here today?

For Christmas/birthday I got Cory tickets to see Jim Gaffigan in concert. Do you know Jim Gaffigan, or as I like to call him, The Gaff? He's a comedian. A super funny one. A mostly clean one.

(My friend Courtney and I are in the midst of an all-out campaign for our twitter hashtag #thegaff to sweep the nation. You might even call it a blitz. So far, there have been no takers. I even stooped so low as to tweet #thegaff himself, hopeful that at least he might appreciate our brilliance and devotion. Crickets.)

When I bought the tickets, the tree was in the corner of the room and I was staring the creepy babies straight in the mug. Finally, the snow melted and it was Summertime in March and we had a whole day to ourselves, in the fine city of Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

Have you ever seen a churchier city? I was impressed. Everything was so alive and pretty.

Except me.

I had spent the previous eight days lunging ever-nearer to death itself, during what I like to call, with much malice, The Worst Week of my Life. Catchy title, no?

I rallied for our day together. I thought I was mostly better. But then I only ate two bites of my lunch and napped between every stop. I threw my seat back and slept for ten minutes here, ten minutes there. I somehow managed to stay alert during a movie. (Cory picked the movie and his taste usually lands us on the outlandish side, which helped.)

I was still surprisingly woozy, but it was a day away, just the two of us, and the sun was shining. Totally worth a rally.

Sidenote: I have a real thing for statues. I'm captivated. And I might have a touch of pica, because my mouth often waters when I get close to them. I want to lick them. Though I'm sure that happens to everyone...

One of these days, when the stars align and I find myself with a scanner, I will show you my favorite statue photo op of all time. Remind me.

We waited for the marquee to show The Gaff's name, but it never did. And photography was banned inside. But the show was so good. I'll be honest, Cory giggled more than the average attendee. He's The Gaff's model viewer, because he took all the bait.


He had me with, "My kids look a lot like me, only they're not as dark skinned."

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!

This was one of my favorite bits. (As re-bitted on Jimmy Fallon.)

After the show, Cory took my to Biaggi's because one of my favorite things in the whole world is their arugula salad with red beets, avocado, and goat cheese. (Update: My mouth is watering again, only this time for normal reasons) 

The salad arrived, I choked down three or four bites, shoved it aside, cursed the germ that relentlessly waged war on my happiness, and slept the whole way home.

Merry Christmas, Honey!

*All photos with the exception of #2 are credited to Cory.


  1. I lived in Ft. Wayne for a summer and then for about a year and a half. I don't mean to be a poo poo head about it, but it was my least favorite place to live: mostly because no one would let me merge in traffic, but also because strangers in Ft. Wayne don't know how to handle southern friendlies. They do have some pretty churches, though. Catholic Cemetery is very pretty, too. I have an ex-bf buried there.

  2. You were less than 1 mile from my house :( Wish we could've gotten together, next time promise to tell me! :)

  3. hi, my name is jamie and i have pica. mostly with the small, chewy-ish ice, but also bandaids. can we still be friends? the best prank ever: take you to a place with live statues!

    glad your hell week is behind you. any sickness now will seem like a mosquito bite.


  4. when you said you had a thing for statues i read statuses. facebook is ruining me. seriously, #thegaff is hilarious. and this is the 2nd time i've heard of him. 1st being, when you mentioned on twitter you were headed to see him. i told you i live under a rock!

    BUT if this is any redemption?! FNL is going to happen one of these days.

    1. Please queue up something of his. Kelly will love it, too. And I know this b/c Kelly and I go way back...


  5. ohmyheck. the gaff is a champion!!! and now, i shall call him the gaff.


  6. How fun! Those are some beautiful churches...but could any of them rival the chicken church here in FL? (and don't you think it looks more like an owl?) Also, I googled The Gaff because he looks so familiar and it turns out he's the voice of Mr. Dudley on WordGirl! He's a bonafide celebrity around here.

    ps You can NOT take your pica to Key West any time soon as a few of the statues there turn out to be real people. (and because I always read all of your comments, I nearly typed statuses.) :)

    1. True story: I had my picture taken in front of the Chicken Church, came home, put it on the computer, posted it on the blog and NEVER knew it was a chicken until my peeps started saying, "That church looks like a chicken!"

      What the world.

      Also, there is a restaurant there where everyone sits sort of family style at big, long, brown tables with benches. I believe it is a chain? Do you know that of which I speak? Best fish tacos EVER. And their house cocktail was fantastic, too.

      I pine for a return.

    2. I saw that church on here and I honestly never noticed it looked like a chicken in person, either! But sure enough, it looks just like the face of a quirky bird.

      Is it Crabby Bill's? A fav. It is a chain and there is one just minutes from my house. The one you're talking about is the best one, I think. And I think it was the 1st. We'll have to go when you get here. ;)

  7. I too love statues, except I have the uncontrollable urge to hug them! My daughters do it too! We are quite the threesome on a trip!

  8. I have never posted a comment on a blog before, but cannot help myself today. I have always resonated with your writing, your taste - and your sense of humor after reading this post - my husband surprised me with Gaffigan tickets for my birthday last week! Glad to hear the show was a good time! Did you know you can program Pandora radio to listen to Jim Gaffigan and other comedians? He makes doing the dishes soooo much fun. :)

  9. "Wanna burn a couple vacation days sleeping outside freezing in a tent? What if I told you you get to crap standing up in the woods?"

    I promise you'll want to go here and see my favorite statue picture.

    1. Oh, thank you so much for this. LOVE the camping bit!!

  10. Love him.
    He is VERY quoted at our house.
    Chip chop chip!

  11. If you want to lick statues, you're probably anemic and your body is craving iron. I know that sounds crazy, but craving things like ice, dirt and metal can be symptoms of iron deficiency. That aside, fun post! I'm a new reader here, an adoptive mom, and I love, love, love reading your perspective on things. Your adoption posts about Ruby's beginnings in your family sound so very much like ours with our second daughter. Thanks for writing such a fun blog!!

  12. I would have loved to lick the wasn't the best choice of words...I've never licked a statue...but sometimes an occasional smooth rock...and in other news...I love gravel...the sound of it under my tires as I drive down the road...or sitting at a baseball game in the summer and taking my sandals off to secretly rub my feet all around in it...its like a dream. When I was pregnant with Z Dawg, one time MT found me out in the garage barefoot rubbing my feet in dirt and little gravel bits. I also really like to make a strong GGGGGGGGGGGgg sound or a has a good feeling between the teeth...and now I am going to frolic away and visit a psychiatrist!

  13. I learn the most random new words from you. Pica? I'll never look at a statue the same way again.

  14. I am SO happy you finally posted #thegaff recap. I seriously think #thegaff needs to head his hiney over here and read this post. I may have to tweet him to say so. I'm SURE #thegaff is about to become a nationwide twitter phenomenon. We're just on the cusp of trending.

    I'm sure of it.

    :) You still look pretty. Even sickly-ish.

  15. Love the Gaff!

    What's funny: Top of the post- "Hottttt Pocket" and then?

    An image of a church.

    Very clever AND hilarious. For a good minute, I didn't know what to make of it!

    Beautiful photos! And after your week at death's door, I'm just gonna say you still looked good!

    I also have a thing for statues. I did a "study" of them in a cemetery by Lake Calhoun in Mpls because the statues there are amazingly beautiful. I think I was perhaps the only person happily walking around in that cemetery that day, snapping photos.

    No pica for me though!

    In your immortal words "Rock this Friday, Shiny!"


  16. When I saw the title I was soooo afraid you were going to be eating one! LOL! That Hot Pocket bit is the best! And I love that you're not afraid to tell us you want to lick statues! Now that's being real!
    Becky M. in Muncie

  17. it's on my list to surprise andy with a date to a comedy show.
    was my favorite part of this post when you admitted to wanting to lick a statue? i think it was.

  18. hey! we were at that show! we ate at biaggi's before seeing mr. gaffigan-- we ate bacon-wrapped dates in honor of jim and BACON!

  19. Bibbity bobbity bacon! Love him!!