Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Plan, Stan

After all of these months, after an entire winter and most of a fall, we seem to be making progress toward our future.

There were moments of big doubt, especially when we were told that the abandoned, broken-down homes were going to be torn down in December. Then January. Then definitely, definitely February. Like for reals, February.

Every time I was I was in the vicinity, I'd drive over to the neighborhood, ramping myself up to be surprised by a big, burly crew of demolitioneers. I think I might be an eternal optimist.

As suspected, once things started to move, they picked up all kinds of steam and velocity. A couple of days ago, the blue-prints had to be finalized.

So we hemmed and hawed and stewed. We narrowed it down from 6 options to 2, with Cory preferring Option A and me preferring B.

Then, without warning, I hit a wall. I holed up in our bedroom and sang disco songs and 1990 cereal jingles in a whisper. I stepped it up a notch and spontaneously serenaded myself with "Honestly" by Stryper. You know Stryper. Spandex bumble-bee pants? Heavy liner? A chorus of voices that set all the dogs in the 'hood to howling?

Cory kept hunting me down like a bad cat and I'd duck and dodge and then, when pressed, I would say things like, "Just surprise me."

I was not even playing.

It became clear that I was being less than cooperative. I put my mad interpersonal skills to use and intuited from Cory that this was some kind of a big deal.

It's so weird to be building a new house. I've said it before,  I'll say it again.

It's so weird to be building a new house.

This was never a dream of ours. We are very roll-with-the-punches, "It has character!" kinds of people. We paid real paper money for a house with countertops that hit at my lower hip and a bank of cabinets not tall enough to house a box of cereal.

It's a lot of pressure, to have to make decisions like whether the door should move a foot to the left. I mean, maybe it should move. Maybe we will hate life if it doesn't move. Maybe we'll move it and for the next 800 days wish that we hadn't.

All of it feels very counter-intuitive to what we're setting out to do. This doesn't feel like simplifying, right now. It feels a little like complicating and fussing around.

It also feels kind of fun, especially now that we flipped a coin and gave them our final answer.

In a few months, we'll be living in a house that we had a hand in "building".

It is not our dream house right now, but I have hope that once that sort of thing gets moving, it'll pick up all kinds of steam and velocity. I'm so ready to be home.

*To read more about where we're going and why, go here.