Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Plan, Stan

After all of these months, after an entire winter and most of a fall, we seem to be making progress toward our future.

There were moments of big doubt, especially when we were told that the abandoned, broken-down homes were going to be torn down in December. Then January. Then definitely, definitely February. Like for reals, February.

Every time I was I was in the vicinity, I'd drive over to the neighborhood, ramping myself up to be surprised by a big, burly crew of demolitioneers. I think I might be an eternal optimist.

As suspected, once things started to move, they picked up all kinds of steam and velocity. A couple of days ago, the blue-prints had to be finalized.

So we hemmed and hawed and stewed. We narrowed it down from 6 options to 2, with Cory preferring Option A and me preferring B.

Then, without warning, I hit a wall. I holed up in our bedroom and sang disco songs and 1990 cereal jingles in a whisper. I stepped it up a notch and spontaneously serenaded myself with "Honestly" by Stryper. You know Stryper. Spandex bumble-bee pants? Heavy liner? A chorus of voices that set all the dogs in the 'hood to howling?

Cory kept hunting me down like a bad cat and I'd duck and dodge and then, when pressed, I would say things like, "Just surprise me."

I was not even playing.

It became clear that I was being less than cooperative. I put my mad interpersonal skills to use and intuited from Cory that this was some kind of a big deal.

It's so weird to be building a new house. I've said it before,  I'll say it again.

It's so weird to be building a new house.

This was never a dream of ours. We are very roll-with-the-punches, "It has character!" kinds of people. We paid real paper money for a house with countertops that hit at my lower hip and a bank of cabinets not tall enough to house a box of cereal.

It's a lot of pressure, to have to make decisions like whether the door should move a foot to the left. I mean, maybe it should move. Maybe we will hate life if it doesn't move. Maybe we'll move it and for the next 800 days wish that we hadn't.

All of it feels very counter-intuitive to what we're setting out to do. This doesn't feel like simplifying, right now. It feels a little like complicating and fussing around.

It also feels kind of fun, especially now that we flipped a coin and gave them our final answer.

In a few months, we'll be living in a house that we had a hand in "building".

It is not our dream house right now, but I have hope that once that sort of thing gets moving, it'll pick up all kinds of steam and velocity. I'm so ready to be home.

*To read more about where we're going and why, go here.


  1. Sometimes I'm in awe of how our lives are running parallel right now. It IS a dream of mine to build a house...or at least it was until we gutted and renovated this one. That was so overwhelming I did the lock myself away singing "Honestly" myself...

    ...and still, I find myself ready to be "home" and that doesn't look anything like I once thought it did. Or should. Or would.

    Someday we'll look back on this, striped socks and armpit hole and all...and we'll smile...because we're writing a story that's eventually going to be worth telling, after an edit or two. I just know it.

  2. Being able to make choices about a home in the building process is such a blessing. And, yes, you'll make mistakes, but it will be OK because it's how you planned it. When you start singing Barry Manilow's commercial jingles from his Live album, then give me a call. ;)

  3. oooh the suspense is killing me! i'm an old house kind of girl also. i can appreciate your struggles in desiring to avoid future regret, i still wish the door swung the other way in the bathroom that WE remodeled. :) any house that your have a hand in is sure to be a beautiful lovely "home."

  4. I love that it took Stryper for it to "become clear" that you were being less than cooperative. I think I'd sink into a big 'ole bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and reruns of My Boys. Can't wait for you to be HOME either!

  5. With all the talk about changes, I really thought you were moving to a foreign country. Is this it? a new house?

  6. your words always put a smackdown on my heart. im driving up the coast of cali right now and all I can think of is...”surprise me”.

  7. i'm certain, whether your house is built new or reminiscent of betty draper, it will be your home no matter what.

  8. Perhaps? God gives the new house to those who will hold it with an open hand? Those that would dare to listen to prompts?
    I don't know. We ended up in our dream house when we were only trying to find land that we could do our ministry on. Funny how things work like that when we lay them all down...

  9. Your publishing is very amazing.I have study this with very exciting.Thanks for giving this.

  10. Okay, so maybe I need another cup of coffee, but at first glance I thought that was a picture of a toilet paper roll and I was afraid you were still, um...sick.

    So what is harder...the waiting and wondering, or the steam and velocity? Just curious.

    Glad you're heading home. :)

  11. I can't wait to come see you in the new neighborhood! I'm thinking block parties with lots of homemade salsa and some good dessert! I am happy things are moving full steam ahead....I'm climbing aboard with ya!

  12. You are gonna ROCK that house, just like you do everything else! Can't wait to see it!

  13. YOu have alot on your plate and it's okay not to be able to make decisions. There are alot of times I say," Surprise me." Not about a house though, hah. It will all come together. Just keep thinking about how much fun it will be in your own home again and settled.

    1. From a momma who thought she could move to Africa and live on a mission who now craves the comfort of her own cottage in the country I have to say uprooting everything with a family of littles probably FEELS like moving to a foreign land!!! Transition is hard and it always lasts longer than you think you can take it! Chin up it's Spring - hope springs eternal and your future is just around the bend! Best wishes on a homey new place that YOU will fill with character - no doubt!!!

  14. I'm sure that your other, more introspective posts elicit far more comment but my strictly visual side CANNOT wait to see this progress! You're handling a stressful situation with absolute grace and unabashed honesty, as per usual. Kudos!

  15. You're managing a traumatic scenario with overall elegance and unabashed loyalty, as per regular. Kudos!

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