Friday, January 6, 2012

Patty Hewes Made Me Do It :: And Winners! ::


Cory and I got one kidless evening while we were in Ohio for Christmas. Where would you go if you had one free night? Would you go to Muncie, Indiana?

We would.

We would leave a family Christmas gathering at 9pm, hop in the van, drive for 40 minutes in the exact opposite direction we were supposed to be driving in, turn around, never.stop.talking, and land in Muncie at Cory's brother and sister-in-law's house at approximately 11:30.

We would then just barely say hello, run into the guest room and change into something with a draw-string, grab large bowls of salsa, a bag of chips, and a glass of root beer and sit down to watch Damages.

We would watch 3 episodes, stagger in to bed somewhere around 2 a.m., then wake up at 10 and stagger right back to the couch for 3 more episodes.

We would stop only long enough to order Mexican take-out (and then we would stop again after I fling my entire salsa bowl onto the light-colored carpet during a particularly intense scene in the finale.)

Then, once we wrapped season 1, we would talk in really fast voices about things like, "What did that meannnnn?" "Why did she do that?" "You really can't trust ANYONE!"

Because you really can't. Not when you work for Patty Hewes. "You were warned." Ha ha. (Inside joke. Do you feel left out? Well then, watch the dang show.)

We would run in, throw our toothbrush back into the bag that we shouldn't have even bothered bringing, and we would fly back out the door at exactly 2 pm.



Some of us might still be in our pojammies. (Cory's exact words: "It's like you're going out of your way to look ridiculous.")

Take it up with Patty, Hater.

In summary: Best 14.5 hours evah.


Sidenote: Cory sprung for this extra-tall Peace Tea for me on the way home. A literal peace offering? Maybe. If you know him, you know he's not the peace-symbol kind of guy, but this was purportedly the only tea at the podunk gas station. Of course I wasn't fit for public display, so I took his word for it.

People. Razzleberry Peace Tea is now the elixir that cures my every ill. Except I can't find it anywhere around here. But if I could, I'd drink it every day and twice on Sunday.

But you aren't here to hear my tea propaganda.

What you want are the winners. Fine.

1. Lee. "Hmmmmmmmmm, my best birthday gift was one of those that you swear you NEVER want to receive as a gift- a carpet cleaner... Hubby had heard me say I wanted one, and took it upon himself to acutally listen and get it. At first I was like, "Oh, um, thanks..." BUT, and there is a but, when I used it I was thrilled that my carpets cleaned up so well. Then I cleaned everything! I know, lame, but true!! PICK ME!!!"

2. Dee. "My best birthday present ever was going to Washington, D.C. to visit my litter sister after her successful kidney transplant. Who could ask for anything better. I was able to spend five more precious years with my little sister as the result of this transplant."

3. Scooper. "I am so IN! This looks amazing and I'm just now at a place where I think I'd have the time to do this. I'm so glad you shared this opportunity with us. My best birthday present? I honestly don't know. But one of my most special and memorable presents was 6 years ago on Valentine's Day. It was an awful time in my life. Awful. Tragic, actually. I'd browsed a local boutique in a feeble effort at escapism and found the loveliest BCBG jacket. Though on sale, it was still seriously pricey. I'd mentioned it in passing to my mom because I'd seen the jacket on a What Not to Wear? episode we'd watched together. She bought it for me. It's one of those things I'll never part with. : "

4. Amy. "hmmm...i can't think of a fantastic b-day present so i am gonna cheat a little. two years ago my husband got me tickets to see Pearl Jam in Chicago for mother's day!! best.present.ever. I so want to take Jeanne's class, just love her!"

5. Teresa. "Oh, how exciting! I am beyond obsessed with Jeanne's mixed media art....the vintage girls with the most awesome quotes ever - swoon! I love every single one of them and visit them often in her Etsy store. That girl has amazing talent, for sure. Sign me up, Farmgirl!"

Congratulations, Artsy-Pants Sisters! Hit me up (shannandmartin@gmail.com) for the details. And pinky swear that you'll tell us all about what you learn.