Thursday, January 26, 2012

Clinging Through the Grit

I'm in a unique time of dependence on God. I need more. I mutter and plead at the strangest times and He probably thinks I'm a little bit neurotic. Maybe He laughs and His eyes get sparkly and He thinks, "Girl, get a grip. It's fine! I've got this." I'm happy to entertain, because He's here. I'm sure of it.  

Could this be an unexpected by-product of all the upheaval and uncertainty and this-world-foolishness of the past four months? Because, honestly? I thought the big life lessons would start rumbling in when we hit phase two (catch up here and here.) This was supposed to be my easy-does-it faux vacation, a stretch of serenity and rest before things started to get dirty. We would be calm and ready then, for whatever comes next.

So can God reach down and show us something new about Himself in a clogged toilet and the stomach flu and kitchen carpet? Can we be teachable in the doubt and wondering and in all the times when we believe that we've really had enough?

Every time I think I've got it down, it starts to make even more sense. It sinks a little deeper: This is the day. The one we're already in. The one that finds us buried on the couch under the down comforter for eight straight hours. The one that stretches months longer than we would have chosen.

There are lessons here. Opportunities now.

So maybe I'm repeating myself. It happens. But today, I'm thankful for the rescuing in all the ridiculous parts of life that don't look holy at first-glance.