Saturday, October 29, 2011

31 Days: Letting Go of Ourselves

It is almost nine o'clock right now and I should be making chicken stock. I mean, shouldn't we all be making chicken stock, if we're being honest?

I read the recipe twice. Made my list. Shopped.

And now? Now I see that it calls for an onion. An onion that I do not have. Leave it to Paula Deen to get all exotic on me on a Saturday night. Blasted Paula with her double-blue eyes and her snooty onions.

I could probably bum an onion off of a friend here in town. But that wouldn't solve my second soup problem, which is that my whole fryer has to be cut up. Who the heck knows how to cut up a whole fryer? Not me, that's who.

It would all be fine, except that Robert is coming for lunch tomorrow and no one brings out my inner Paula quite like him. We haven't seen as much of him since he's been out of school and he mentioned that he hasn't been feeling well. 1 + 2 = Paula Deen's chicken noodle soup.

Do you see what has happened here? Love walked in.

I remember the first time I met Robert, just nine months ago. What on earth would we talk about? Well, we didn't talk about a whole lot, but ribs and cheesecake have a way of eliminating the need for extraneous words. He surprised me, that night. He was taller, broader than I had expected. He was more at ease and open than I expected. He hopped out of our van in the dead of winter in a t-shirt and everything in me wanted to toss him a puffy coat. I know now (probably knew it then, too) that he's not a puffy coat kind of guy.

It's amazing how one night, one conversation, one single look can change everything. In no time flat there's a brand new person with a stake on your heart. You're a goner.

And all of this joy and this new reason to worry and this unexpected, complicated, heart-breaking gift because we decided to let go of ourselves just a little.

*For the rest of the Letting Go series, click here.


  1. when I stopped picking the people that I wanted to surround myself with and I started letting God do the placing, my life got so much much much much brighter.

    Your life looks more and more like HIS life because you are letting him surround you with the people he has for you, and it is just beautimous.

    When we open our hands to God and say, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven," he brings it, and it is more than we can imagine it to is miraculous.

  2. Was I supposed to cry here?

    Well, I did.

    You give Paula too much credit. Just some dried onion flakes. Robert will not care.


  3. Double blue eyes of Paula Dean! I think I will dream about that tonight. And your Robert. Praying he feels better soon.
    Thank you for making stock. For loving unconditionally. For sharing with everything that is in you.

  4. It's 9:45PM and I have YET to make my chicken stock! Damn you, Paula Deen!!

    Sidebar: Did you know that Paula has a line of furniture and it's quite beautiful?

    Robert is lucky to have you. I don't recall how old he is, or if you've mentioned his age..but it reminded me of a convo I had with my hubby last week. He mentioned he doesn't always know what to talk about with our 17 and 20 year old nephew and niece and said 'You're better at it." and I laughed and explained that when I first started seeing them as teens (I had lived out of state for years) that I had no clue what to chat about, etc..

    The point (and I do have one!)--TT can relate!!

    You're a good egg, kid.



  5. I think your thrifted chair was born for this moment!

  6. I knew I'd find my nugget.... Love walked in.... thank you.

  7. Wow...just wow...I apparently missed the earlier Robert story and now I want to cry. You are amazing, FPFG!

  8. oh darn it you did it again-you made me think, you made me ponder and now I see my life changing in teeny tiny baby steps. I haven't wanted to change my life is in a tight little package and I know all the players but you started this darn 31 days and I just had to follow along and now see what you have done? oh jeessss. nancy

  9. Paula's eyes didn't used to be so blue, did they?

    Love walked in...stake on your heart...a goner.

    Love the way you chose to write this post. Beautifully, as always.

  10. part of my life right now is working with troubled teenagers. something that i never saw myself doing....until God asked me to 'let go of myself.' when you speak of Robert, i can relate. thanks for putting it so beautifully.

  11. I hope you got your onion but even if you didn't, I'm sure Robert was blessed by being in your home. I'm glad I got to go back and read that post about the first time you met him. Thanks, once again, for sharing your heart.

  12. Okay I had something profound but by the time I told kids to hurry and eat their breakfast, grab a hairbrush and discussed candy in lunches, I forgot. Let's just pretend it was something amazing that you would have thought about all day.

    Also, chicken stock- I just started making mine too! I don't know if your recipe is this easy but thought I'd share mine just in case. Buy a rotisserie chicken the next time, eat it for diner, and when you're done, throw the entire leftover carcas into a big pot, toss in a unpeeled, chopped up carrot (and yes, onion) celery stalk and water. You can throw in rosemary and thyme and oregano- fresh or dried and salt and pepper and boil til the veggies are soft. Then strain it, toss the veggie/chicken mixture, keep the liquid, and you're done.

  13. A year and a half later....
    I'll mention that if you want to channel your inner chef, here's a good video.

    But, really...your post was so not about chicken.
    More about not being chicken, eh?
    ~ Dana