Monday, October 3, 2011

31 Days: Letting Go of my Sanity



I have much to say about the unexpected joys and the sucker-punch aches of Letting Go, but also, there's this: Letting Go can sometimes make you feel like an alternate, scary version of yourself. It can make you feel like you've lost your grip just long enough that you might not find it again.

I'm not trying to be philosophical here. Or even Biblical.

What I'm saying is that I have reached the point in "moving" where I see no purpose in putting away the dishes that drip-dried two days ago on the counter. I barely notice the three piles of dirty laundry that I trip over every time I enter my bedroom. (I try to only enter when it's a necessity because it's KrAzY up in there.)

The snarky mail lady (postmistress?) taunted me when I mailed a package with my debit card. "Oh, where are your cash envelopes this time? You've already given up on that, haven't you?" Actually, postmistress, I am in the midst of the most chaotic week of my life and I haven't gone to the bank or the grocery store. My kids haven't been bathed in 3 days and I'm perfectly content in that knowledge, even though I had to ask my five-year-old to put deodorant on this afternoon. My oldest kid read aloud for zero minutes today. I can't find Ruby's reading list to save my life. I spilled half a box of baking soda in the hallway a handful of days ago and haven't even considered sweeping it up. I'm contemplating not brushing my teeth tonight. (It could happen.)

I'm askew.

I think I might be a hoarder.

I taped up a box larger than my own torso earlier today that contains only two things: Tea and nuts.

That right there will change a person. Possibly irreversibly.


*For the rest of the Letting Go series, click here.

43 comments:

  1. Sounds like everyday at my house. Don't let it get you down. You will soon be on a great adventure with the move and a new home!

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  2. i love you.
    we are not moving, but i am in the midst of letting go of my sanity for real. not sure i mind.
    praying for you right this minute!!


    also, dirty, smelly kiddos are cute sometimes;)
    oh, and i guess you don't want tea and nuts for a christmas gift?

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  3. 1. Brush your teeth.

    2. Please tell me you know where Siley is.

    3. I loved reading your Mama's comment on yesterday's post. (I always read your Mama's comments because they are so sweet.)

    4. Breathe.

    5. Call me if you need a helping of Southern Drawl to calm your nerves. I can tell you about how Keeks has given up naps for walking.

    xxoo

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  4. i am SOOOO with you right now! i am completely insane. it's true. and i JUST told my friend i feel like a hoarder ;) i'm sure we're really not, right?? right!!??

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  5. All will be well. Once you are in your new home-you can take forever to unpack.

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  6. So happy to hear Ralphie is adjusting well!
    Take that as a GOOD sign! Animals can teach us so much.

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  7. You're not a hoarder. And--even if you are--hoarders are a'ight 'til their piles fall and bury them alive. Clearly, that hasn't happened to you, so you're a'ight.

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  8. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. And just think, this crazy will fade and replace itself with a whole new brand of crazy! Yay!

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  9. I barely survived our move from Indiana to our Michigan beach cottage with my sanity in tact. I understand, dear one. I understand. He will see you through to the other side.

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  10. Not sure I have even unpacked my sanity from the first move last year. I don't know, but I think I must have it stashed somewhere, because I haven't seen it in awhile.
    All I can say is, try not to move three times, have a baby, get 45 chickens, two goats, two cows, homeschool, and whatever else it is I am forgetting to do right now that I should be doing instead of reading, but whatever.
    Where was I going with this?
    You will be FINE!!! It will be great!!! My kids just got there first bath in...thinking...whatever days...and heck, I smell like a cow myself! Oh, and I had several boxes with just tea. Is that not normal? Wish I was there. I'd bring you some salsa.

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  11. You have it together enough to keep underpants on the monkey! When the monkey runs around naked...then it gets crazy! lol
    In the middle of building & planning a move the week of Thanksgiving! Pray for you, you pray for me?! ;)

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  12. Aww, we've all been there at one time or another & I say EMBRACE THE CRAZY!

    It's a liberating time when all the typical "rules" we have for ourselves fly out the window for a bit.

    p.s. One thing I have learned over the years is that no matter how smelly/dirty/hard-to-be-in-the-same-room-with our children get...one good bath & it's like it never happened. My girls' favorite part of summer camp was going all week long without a bath ;)

    p.s.s. If I wasn't such a kind and mild-mannered Christian girl I'd wanna smack snarky mail lady. Just sayin.

    still praying!

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  13. I just asked my husband tonight when kids should start wearing deo since we had one stinky 3rd grade boy. And we even managed to bathe him yesterday so we have NO excuse for his stench Hang in there!

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  14. That Snarky postmistress. She probably is just miffed that she had to count out change when you did have your envelopes. Don't worry, the moving crazies don't last forever (I hope for my sake as well).

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  15. hoarding nuts and tea is a sign of intelligence.
    i have a snarky mail lady who i pretend used to work for the russian KGB.
    askew is in my top 10 list of words.
    i always end up laying in my askewness, staring at the ceiling, buried in being overwhelmed... until nate finds me and starts doing the job that was making me cry and i can pull myself up and join him.
    His grace is especially beautiful poured deep and thick over askew. :)

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  16. I wish I were closer to help you. I love to organize and pack. Tea and nuts, well that is nuts;)
    Don't worry about brushing your teeth ...they go to crap in your mid fifties anyhoo.;)

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  17. Is it wrong that I laughed at many parts of this post? You are just plain funny, even in the midst of insanity. I'm telling you that you will barely remember this time in a year or two. I moved 1500+ miles from the only place I had ever known when I was 37 and then 1100 miles from there 3 years later...it is all consuming while you are in it, but it all works out! I am going to church this morning and I will include you in my prayers. You are awesome. Oh, and we go through deodorant like nuts up in here, and have for years with my 2 boys.

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  18. Are you at the stage where you just want to start chucking everything you take out of cabinets? Don't worry, this will all be behind you very soon (and bathing your children daily is overrated - unless it's to help you keep your sanity!)

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  19. I had to laugh a bit when I read this, because I felt the exact same way and did many of the exact same things (minus the not bathing kids part since...well...no kids, you know) when we moved a year ago. It's so hard to put anything away at all when you know you're just going to take it out and put it in a box!

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  20. Hang in there. You are not losing your grip...you are just moving it. Tom and I have moved almost 15 times in our 33 years of marriage. In every move there are those moments when life just doesn't seem to be happening and it all seems like craziness. Just keep packing, eating, and sleeping. That is all that is truly necessary...oh, also lots of prayer!!!

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  21. so reading through the comments, it seems that so many of us have a snarky mail lady. I have one too... she wears blue gloves... like latex gloves. Not sure why, but is she ever a grey cloud.

    hope your move goes well... I always like the unpacking part... you will get to that soon :)

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  22. The deodorant on your five year old made my morning! Hilarious.

    Where did you find such small underwear for that monkey?

    Now THAT is adorable.

    I think that all it is is this:

    When you're in the midst of moving, what you find to be "success" is totally different than in normal life.

    Crap in boxes half full? Check. Success.

    No signs of personality in your home anymore? Check. Success.

    Hair that hasn't been washed in days? Check. Success. That means you're working and packing!

    I'm just impressed that with all that's going down..that the monkey still has his clean underwear!

    Sidebar: My best friend is moving this week. She lives in Tucson and her hubby is leaving the military- they are about to be civilians for the first time in years. She and her kids (three- all under age 5!) are staying at a hotel for five days because she can't stand being around her husband during moves. He's too Type A, can't handle stress and it's "better for our marriage if I'm not there".

    The point: You are doing great!

    Now to the REAL question: how the heck do you find comments on your Pinterest page?

    xoxoxo~

    TT

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  23. PS: My local mailguy (not the one who delivers our mail, but the one I have to deal with to mail out packages) is..a moron.

    He will continually try to overcharge me OR will tell me (this is when I'm mailing Etsy orders) "That can't go to Canada, it's too big" <--real story! Me: "so you're saying someone in Canada cannot buy a large memoboard for their baby? I find that hard to believe. This is a first." He kept telling me no, so I had to drive to the NEXT town to mail it!

    Talk about a grey cloud!!

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  24. I love you!

    For what it's worth.....in my craZy life 'this' is often my reality & you know I'm NOT even moving! ;) Sad, but true! :)

    Sometimes ya' just gotta go with the dis-function ~ to get (any form of so called) function! ;) Anyways that's what I tell myself! Ha!

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  25. Oh...yeah & in the midst of your trials you've made me smile...laugh even! And I love that too! :) With lines like deoderent on a child & you might be a hoarder. Haha!!!

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  26. Looks like I will be seeing you this Friday with sis. We will get it done and before you know it life will be somewhat sane again. Then we will all sit on the sofa and have some salsa and chips.
    God will honor your letting go. It is when we hold things so tight he can't pry our selfish hands loose that he can't bless us with what really matters most. After all none of it is ours,it all belongs to him, he just borrows it to us so we can bless others. You and Cor are letting go and will receive so much more. Your lives (all of you), will be fuller and and will have more joy than you can imagine. Ephesians 3:20

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  27. Sanity is completely overrated.

    Tea and nuts are serious necessities! (if you like organic herbal tea, shoot me a message...my mom and i are tea makers!)

    I am praying for your move!

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  28. This too shall pass. That's what I keep telling myself. I am also in the middle of a move. Our official date is 10/7 and I think I'm doing well and keeping sane. Wait. Am I really? I'm not sure. Ask anyone else, the Hubs perhaps, and you may get an entirely different answer.

    I just wanted to say thank you for giving me someone to go through *this* with. My house is a wreck and my hair hasn't been brushed in 2 days. Maybe 3 if I'm telling the truth. You have helped me laugh, cry and rationalize all things funky and I appreciate that. BUT, as a virtual friend, I gotta say one thing...go brush your teeth.

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  29. Oh I wish I could be there to help you, I know that kind of crazy too well. This tornato will stop spinning, I PROMISE. Your kids will be okay without the usual amounts of cleaniness, and if they eat cereal for the next 26 days, they will live. Give yourself the freedom to just keep moving forward, keep checking items off your list, and let go of your previous routines and expectations for yourself and your family. YOU are the consistent in their life, and that is ALL that matters!!! Sending you BIG hugs today and lifting you in prayer ALL day!
    Emily

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  30. Shannon,
    what is it about posts like this that makes the rest of us want to run to you and confess? (Because we don't want you to feel alone!) O.k., here is my confession...we are in the "talking" stage of redoing our bedroom. (New paint, bed and carpet.) With my fella, we have to talk, talk, talk about anything we do before we do it (talk it to DEATH) and then I have to make certain that I've convinced him that is is ALL HIS IDEA before we do it...so this takes time, o.k.? Why do I tell you all of this? Well, at a certain undisclosed point in time I stopped running the vacuum in the bedroom. I thought "I am NOT cleaning this carpet, again!" Well, as you can imagine, it is pretty bad. I even told him. We are still talking.
    xo, Cheryl

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  31. you are immensely dear to me.

    ps i see your tea and nuts, and i raise you one skyscraping box of chocolate.

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  32. When my mom moved out of her home and I moved in (remember, I have basically lived in the same house for 32 years), she left plenty of things behind. Unfortunately for her, they became our property after three years of us storing them for her....I guess it was unfortunate for me too because then I had to get rid of them. You could always be that forgetful. So excited to see where God is leading you.... the Holy Spirit guides you in making my heart open up and hands release. Thank you.

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  33. Leave the baking soda. It's totally sanitary.

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  34. I know this whole thing isn't one bit funny - it really is not! BUT, you make me smile. Wish I could offer to help out :) Hoping you end up somewhere with a happier mail lady. Just don't move to my neighborhood cause you will be right back with snarky.

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  35. This post made me feel a bit more normal. Also, you should brush your teeth. Possibly with the baking soda you spilled on the floor.

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  36. At this point? Just shove anything and everything you can in in a box, and label it with a title that makes sense at the moment, and no, it won't when you unpack...it never does! You can sort it all out at your new place (at a slower more sane pace!) And you can brush your teeth then too!! Cleanliness is overrated durning moving time, I think. One piece of advice? Anything you pack on the last day, label with a "1" Usually, the stuff you need till the last minute, is also the stuff you need right away at the new place. This way you just have to hunt around for boxes labeled "1" at the onset. Good luck!

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  37. this is a good time to cut yourself some slack. But brush your teeth. It's just better for everyone.

    And walk up to Cory and say "Chip Chop Chip? What does that even mean?" and he'll laugh. And then think about Tim Riggins (shirtless if you're so inclined) and everything will be right with the world...

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  38. i love that you had to ask your five year old to put on deodorant.

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  39. I think we are long lost twins. Or just kindred spirits. The flour I spilled on my kitchen floor sat there a week before I got around to trying to sweep it up. And not because I didn't want to.
    You know what they say, "If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it!"
    Hang in there.

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  40. I don't know but seems to me once Martha's tell all book written by her daughter hits the stand you may find out you have a lot more in common then you think haha. Hey, I've always thought people that are perfect have issues.

    Kathy

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  41. I simply adore you.

    "I taped up a box larger than my own torso earlier today that contains only two things: Tea and nuts.

    That right there will change a person. Possibly irreversibly."

    and you crack me right up :)

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  42. mean old postmistress, want me to come trip her?

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