Thursday, October 27, 2011

31 Days: It Still Feels Suspiciously Easy

I drove past my old digs on the way home tonight. There's nothing that pulls my heart in that direction, though I wouldn't say that I'm avoiding it, either.

The light was on in the toy room. The kitchen was lit all dim and eveningish, probably just the little light over the sink left on.

I got a twinge of homesickness, but I think it was mostly the dishwasher talking.

I pictured myself hugging my Pottery Barn hutch and petting my island. Just being honest.

Still, all the while, I didn't even slow the van down. I drove right past and into my little concrete driveway down the road. I live here now, and in a very strange way, it already feels like its been a lifetime.

Is this what a whirlwind feels like? I'm sure change can sometimes drag out long and agonizing. And maybe that has its merits. It would make for a more dramatic 31 Days series, that's for darn sure.

There's been nothing agonizing about this change. It has whipped me around so fast that my hair is still a wild bird's nest. It's been exhausting, but mostly painless.

I wish I could just end it there and skip of to bed, but I'm the girl who can't help but to imagine - just for a quick second - what it might be like if that car crossed the line and came right at me, or if my flat-iron accidentally lunged from the counter to the shower, with me in it. What if a strong gust of wind trips the switch while I'm fishing a spoon out of the garbage disposal?* It's morbid, yes, but it's also just a fact of my life. 'Tis the brain I was dealt.

So tonight, I'm mostly at peace. I'm thankful to the ends of the earth that God has prepared our hearts so fully, that He's prepared the way so entirely. But I'm also not dismissing the idea that maybe this is, in some way, the calm before the storm. Hey, it's possible.

Also? Five Days. Five more days of Letting Go. Thank you for saying that you're enjoying it, but just know that I've been keeping a list of normal/mundane/ridiculous things that I'm itching to talk about. The madness will be unleashed in Five. Days. !!!!!!!

I almost want to spring for a sheet-cake.

* I do miss my garbage disposal something fierce. So sue me.