Sunday, August 14, 2011

Buckle Up, Nelly

This could be a doozy.

I have many well-intentioned things to share on the docket, but right now? I'm feeling like I just need to heave some burdens overboard. (And in this analogy, you'll find yourself somewhere in the water. Possibly in a life boat or other similarly small vessel, but in any case, you KNOW I wouldn't just leave you drowning in my analogy, beneath the heft of my burdens.)

1. I am sitting here alone, minding my own business, my honey on an 8-mile run, my babies tucked in bed. I am blissfully solo. And twice now - twice - I have been spooked out of my skin by wayward helium birthday balloons. The first offender was green. He shot up from the corner, unexpectedly, alight on a surprise updraft from the fan. It was...eerie. But I got over it. Several moments later, yellow lurched around me like the Sidler on Seinfeld. She just showed up, right over my shoulder. I jumped a little. They remind me somehow of lonely people moping about the room, these drifting balloons. Or maybe ghosts. As I sit typing, green is walzting around and occasionally dipping down to the floor. His partner is clearly a ghost, too, because I can't even see her.

2. My computer is fritzed. It happened last week. Maybe I mentioned it? I don't know. I don't really know anything about what I did or didn't do last week. It's a bit of a blur right now. All I remember is honking my horn for a really long time while a shady dude tried to run me down and pushing that "Help" button in an elevator for the first time in my life. I also remember a birthday party and picy cumbers and back-to-school shopping. But that's it. No wait, I do know one other thing: I know that I promised a guest post to a dear friend and completely spaced it. As in, I never wrote (much less submitted) the dang post. I realized it late last night, whilst tossing in my bed. I broke out in a momentary cold sweat. It was like a real life version of the nightmare I have where I show up for class having not realized that a ten-page paper is due. I'm sorry, Katie. Please accept my public mortification as a peace offering.

3. There's something very retro and freeing about being disconnected from the outside world all the live-long day. First it was my impromptu week of camp that had me blissfully unaware. And then the fritzing computer. What this means is that I have no internet access until roughly 8 pm each evening after the kids are in bed and I can fire up Cory's computer. And ya'll, I have a flip phone with two keys rubbed clean off, so you know that's no help. It's oddly calming...until I realize that I'm way behind on computerish things and that I'm officially a big fat blog slacker.

4. Also? I can't edit my photos. And now, a word on photo editing: I don't do it. Not really. For one thing, I hardly know how to take a picture much less edit one, but for another thing, I hold the philosophy that I want my pictures to reflect what I actually see. It's beautiful enough! I mean, it's the most beautiful ever. This world around us, this gift stretched to the horizons, all for us, every day, it needs no major touch ups. But I will admit, it could use just a hit or two of contrast and a glug of brightness. That's all. Until we sort through our electronic mess, we'll all just have to politely pardon the uncontrastiness. (Yep.)

5. I started re-writing the beginning of my book yesterday. Hallelujah. I was starting to fear that I was too long gone. It's hard to go from believing that you're almost done to knowing for sure that you're not even half there. But I jumped in, on a foreign computer, and I made myself start typing. I felt all twitchy and itchy, but I did it any way. It's not quite as bad as I thought it would be, but it's early.

6. I need to clarify something important and this seems like the right place and time: Robert and Fernando do not live with us. Haven does. The boys do not. I promise, I don't try to be vague on purpose. Well, sometimes I do. But mostly, I don't mean to be unclear. Having said that, Robert has thumped around in my heart in heavy-soled shoes for days on end. He's kept me praying. He's made it difficult for me to fall asleep at night. So he's basically like one of my own. I love him and I'm proud of him. I'm pleased as punch that he brings Fernando over for dinner when he comes each week. He's one of us.

7. Happy Birthday, Lando. I'll bet you thought we forgot.

8. Cory is back from his run and showered up. He's sitting to my left and I kid you not, he was just spooked out of his britches by the elusive, sneering green balloon. Twice.

Goodnight and God Bless.

34 comments:

  1. oh Lord I love you guys. I can just see Cork getting spooked by a balloon. My bee suit hanging in my bedroom has made my heart stop more than once! I think we should all go retro and get rid of the computer for a while. I do indeed. And cell phones. Imagine that, would ya? Love and miss you more than I love and miss pancakes and bacon - and missy, that's a lot.

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  2. Shangirl,

    My Mama always says God bless before she hangs up the phone.

    Balloons are my immortal enemy. I stalk them with straight pins until they have suffered a quick painful death, whist my children slumber. The next morning we have a vague conversation of: your balloon? I don't know honey, where did you leave it?

    You've been stomping around in my heart for days.

    Get your computer fixed.

    xxoo

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  3. What do I say to all of that without a wordy 7 point comment?
    You're so real...I love how ya' think..how ya' write..you!
    God Bless You too!

    Rebecca

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  4. I haven't been on the computer as much lately and it is freeing and then I fret I will not read something I should read and get all crazified for a brief stint. I have been freaked so many times by the dog outside. We have a little balcony off the bedroom with stairs...Stuart was worried about a fire...anyway I think someone is knocking and it is the dog's tail. His wagging happiness has caused me heart tremors too many times. I have even poked Stuart and whispered "someone is knocking." Since he is half deaf from farm equipment by the time I practically shout it to get his attention, I am no longer freaked.
    My camera is still at the manufacturers getting repaired. I don't really know how to edit. Photos (or comments apparently). Sorry. xo

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  5. : ) Me too about real pictures. They are my favorite. Brightness is nice though. Very, very nice.

    A balloon scared me this morning. I screamed. And then I tried to figure out where the heck the helium balloon came from since we haven't had a party in a year.

    It's still a mystery.

    Wishing you the happiest week ; )

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  6. Balloon Hysteria....that's my diagnosis. Rx--SHOOT the things DOWN! ;)
    Cheers to a less-crazy week for you--and your computer fixed??

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  7. I may have snorted at the Sidler/Seinfeld reference. Though if it happened to me, I probably would have screamed.
    There was a toy that my boys' grandma (aka my mother-in-law) sent last Christmas, and it randomly started "singing" one time when Mike was not home. I didn't know what it was, but I started casting the demons out of my house I was so creeped out.

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  8. The birthday pictures were too cute! Glad you've found time to work on the book - I'm still watching your word count and cheering you on. Can't wait to see what God has in store :)

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  9. Can I just tell ya', I've had the worst case of morning (all day) sickness with this pregnancy and it has kept me offline because scrolling makes me all, well, sick in unpleasant ways. But through it all, I keep checking your blog because I just have to know what's going on with your kidlets and your family and the beautiful world you live in. It seems, I'm a bit addicted to FPFG and your world. Though really, unplugging (at least 99% unplugging) has done wonders for the soul (and for my heart aches for more of Him.)

    Also it makes me happy to know that you don't edit photos. :)

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  10. I pop all balloons once my children are asleep and hide them in the trash. I can't stand them hanging around for days. I wish I knew how to edit my photos, or better yet, take a good photo :) I had to ask my husabnd about the Seinfeld reference. I was always more of Friends girl. Now we're both addicted to Mad Men.

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  11. Don't know if I have ever commented before but I really enjoy your blog. Remember blogging should be fun not an obligation.

    Balloons would scare me when my kids were younger, too. Then my sister told me she makes a tiny hole in them so they slowly deflate and can be thrown away the next day.

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  12. A little scared now and then shakes the cobwebs off. I staggered out of bed this morning rather early because it was raining cats and dogs (such a weird saying). Blurry eyed I peeked out the window and just them a bolt of lightning and crack of thunder flashed through the yard. I jumped, then screamed then ran down the stairs to the safety of my man. I felt like I was 5 and then smiled.

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  13. well we'd just love to learn more about Haven, who is simply beautiful by the way, and how she came to join your lovely bunch:) i've been wondering about you (or the lack of you!) and figured that book was all out consuming you... so i'm happy to read you tonight! :-)

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  14. I never edit my photos either. 2 reasons... I love the raw picture (if that is the correct term?) and I have no idea how. I have an automatic adjustment and every once in a while I hit that... that's it.

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  15. Haha! The bit about the balloons actually creeped me out a little bit (I'm a wuss). And I totally know what you mean about how nice it feels to sometimes be disconnected. We've gone through like 10 computer cords in the past year, and every time, I kinda love the feeling of productivity I have while I'm waiting for a new cord to come in the mail. I always promise myself I'm gonna stick with that productivity... and it never happens.

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  16. i have been spending much more time away from the computer and agree that it is very freeing to not be tied down to the goofy thing!...always trying to find that perfect balance! why is it so hard to get there?

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  17. Better a balloon (or two!) than a mouse. I saw one run across the kitchen floor of the log cabin, the other night. So far, it's too clever for the traps.

    You know, I feel like saying congratulations. On all of it. You've got it goin' on.

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  18. The balloon popping up and down would have been scary! I love the flow of this post.

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  19. You aren't alone with the balloon scares. It happens here, too. And for some reason I think it helps to put them upstairs with the girls.... Which ultimately means that I get scared again in the dark when I go to bed. They drag around, scratching around the walls for a few weeks before I finally deflate the silly things!

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  20. Those dancing balloons would bring about a need for Depends with me! law.

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  21. Can't wait to hear about the book again soon. I look forward to your posts like a good bedtime snack, which I don't need every night, but when I do get to read your post right before bed, it truly is a treat! Keep it up my friend, don't feel pressure to perform and always continue to speak from your heart. Because frankly my dear, its a good one!
    -heather

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  22. I love seeing "real" photos. Kinda so over uber-edited ones. They look pretty.....they do. But I love your philosophy of having a photograph what we actually saw and the beauty of that.

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  23. Thanks for making me laugh OUT loud, as usual!

    Ahhhh...too funny! You have a way of "yarning a tale" or whatever that phrase is! After I'm finished reading your posts, I find I want to yell (to anyone, but really..to you) "tell me another story, grandpa!"

    Yep, they're that good.

    Your balloon story cracked me up. That kind of movement (unexpected, terrifying, wizard-like) is exactly why a lot of cats bum me out. Makes me nervous.

    Sorry cat people.

    also..I did once have a cat. She was old and mellow and angry.

    In my world Robert and Fernando and Haven and everyone live in your cute house.

    It's amazing how you all fit in there, but somehow you do it!

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  24. If I had phantom balloons swooping in around me, I'd be freaked out, too! Sometimes the littlest things make me jump half way to the ceiling. You're a brave soul! ;)

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  25. i recently ran over my celly. so...no phono.
    it sounds like you"re busy...AND in my opinion I write the best stuff when I've been unplugged for a while. Social media kills my creativity. SO maybe its a blessing?

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  26. Our last house in the burbs had an alarm system, complete with a siren attached to the outside of the house, and we quickly learned that the fastest way to make enemies of your entire hood is to go on a week long vacay whilst helium balloons are floating around your house setting off your alarm sensors on a regular basis.
    Now you know the real reason we moved 500 miles away.

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  27. Why would it be so horrible if Robert and Fernando DID live with you? And why do you feel the need to explain?

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  28. why is the comment from Nancy snarky?
    is it supposed to be or am I just taking it the wrong way for you?
    sorry, the words were out and typed before I realized it and now I'm not gonna delete....

    I'm kind of glad you gave a little more info on the boys...I was curious. :)

    can't wait to read your book and tell all my friends about it.

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  29. Ha! The balloon spooks made me laugh. That is SO me. I get startled VERY easily so floating, ghostly balloons would do me in.

    EIGHT miles?! That is awesome sauce.

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  30. Between You and Me: I've clarified my comment in an email to Shannan which is what I should have done in the first place.

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  31. I LOVE THIS POST. Like I just sat with you over one of those fruity martinis and we gabbed it up, catching up on each other's lives. Some day? Yes.

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  32. With Nelly’s single “Just A Dream” climbing up to 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week, things are off to a great start with upcoming album 5.0..

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  33. oh how i adore you! no worries, love!
    the change of pace in the air has us all a little off kilter.
    love love lovein this list!
    xoxo

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