Monday, July 25, 2011

Things I Learned Yesterday

1. Waking late on a Sunday morning with the theme song from Beauty & the Beast is as bad an omen as I can imagine.

2. I am incapable of obtaining a close shave on my knobby knee caps.

3. Aldi eye cream can double as body lotion, in a pinch.

4. I wish they made perfume in the exact scent of Aldi eye cream.

5. Even in the presence of cable tv, I will almost always prefer to go about my morning in silence.

7. Joy is not a serial killer. In fact, she's pretty rad.

8. Mexican food never fails me. Ever.

9. I like to follow people around in the Goodwill store and tell them long, boring stories while they shop.

10. I always fall victim to the charms of something at a Goodwill store.

11. But I probably should have tried on the t-shirt.

12. A new, in-package Napoleon Dynamite board game will cause me to reconsider the status of my carry-on luggage.

13. Ann Voskamp is just as gorgeous and gracious in the airport security line.

14. A bottle of water and a Special K bar will run you almost $8 in an airport.

15. I feel empowered when I tell the airport check-out guy, "What??? OK, I don't need that Special K bar."

16. He won't mind one bit.

17. I'm hooked on Hooked.

18. I worry that I need to start my book over, but I'm oddly energized by the thought.

19. Kristen's on my flight! Sweet.

20. When you're walking to a connecting flight, it's best to pay attention.

21. If you don't pay attention, you might - might - end up leaving the terminal altogether, without a single notion of how it happened.

22. Airport security is even less fun the second time around.

23. I feel angry when I have to throw away my $4 bottle of airport water because I'm going through security again.

24. Long layovers feel shorter with a friend.

25. It's impossible to eat when you don't stop talking.

26. There is a difference between F28 and F2B.

27. It might be time to visit an optometrist.

28. I really do have the worst traveling luck ever.

29. OK, maybe not ever. But still.

30. Delayed flights breed camaraderie. And contempt.

31. It's ironic to survive the flights but then fear that you might fall asleep at the wheel on the drive home.

32. Hitting the door at 1:30 a.m. is surprisingly exhilarating.

33. "Inciting incidents" and "story-worthy problems" lead to insomnia.

34. Home is my very favorite.


  1. 2. I am incapable of obtaining a close shave on my knobby knee caps.

    8. Mexican food never fails me. Ever.

    34. Home is my very favorite.


  2. #2 all the way, sister. I'm glad I am not the only knobby-kneed lady who experiences this same issue. I typically discover it while sitting in the passenger side of a car while wearing a skirt. You know, where it can annoy me completely but I cannot do a thing about it.

  3. Love your list. : -) Your #34 is my very favorite. I'm too bewildered at the moment to be clever and funny - like you expect me to be. Maybe that should be your #35 - The Coop Keeper isn't always on her game.....

  4. I have never been able to successfully shave my knees either, so I have just learned to live with it. And like you, Mexican food is perfect for every situation and home is always the best place to be.

  5. Inciting incidents and story worthy problems have been keeping me up nights these days. Also, I'm sooo glad you made it home safe. I am now worried about September. Can you get a GPS to tell you exactly what exits to get off so I don't have to rent a car and retrieve you from Alabama. (Which is nowhere near where we're going, in case you were wondering.) :)

    I think you should write a book about someone who simply cannot travel...everything goes wrong.... but she doesn't realize what trouble it's keeping her out of. :)

    Glad you made it safe!

  6. #34 is ALWAYS a GREAT feeling! Especially after a long journey!


  7. Prayed for that sweet arrival Friend....glad your home ;)

  8. were you in Spain ....add a lady ran over by a taxi and a pickpocket attempt and you described my trip. Glad you are safe in the arms of home!!

  9. Just so you all know ..... about the time you hit 60 years old, the hair on your knees stops growing. It certainly takes a backseat to GRANDCHILDREN, but it is something to look forward to! I like think it's God's way of making up for not being able to bend over to reach our knees! Happy you had a great weekend!

  10. Gee, you learned a lot yesterday. I'm tired just reading about it. law.

    p.s. Are you really going to start your book over???

  11. #2 - I always notice this fact on the way to church. Always.
    #3 - I have been shopping at Aldi for several months now and have never noticed eyecream. I must look.
    #8 & #34- so true.

  12. You are so stinking funny. I hope you got the board game ; )

  13. I love how you turn lemons into lemonade on a moments notice! I am glad you are back safe and sound, even if it was in the wee hours of the morning. We must chat soon my friend!

  14. Ahhh....

    You make me laugh!

    I don't think we've connected over Aldi. I found Aldi in late 2009..LOVE! I love that their prices are what they should be.

    Not buying organic or fancy?

    The ALDI price makes sense!

    I used their anti-aging cream for awhile, but I don't believe it was doing what it should.

    How can you complain about that when it was less than $5?

    Sounds like you missed a lot of gates or connections..hilarious.

    No, not to you.

    To the reader.

    I love the Goodwill.

    Found myself wondering "If I didn't know FPFG and she followed me around with said boring story..would I be a bit freaked out? What would I do??"

    The answer: I think I would have started asking your opinion on various frame styles and such.

    Glad you had fun!

    I think Hooked is great. My b/f/f is a writer.



  15. I can never get a close shave on my knee caps. Makes me insane!

    Sounds like a fun trip :)

  16. Came over via our mutual blogging pal -- Carissa at lowercase. Met her in real life and she told me how awesome your blog is, and I totally agree.

    I must tell you -- I had the worst flying luck this weekend as well. And good friends to spend that time with. :)

    Have a blessed Monday!!

  17. Your stories were not boring, do not even act like that!

    I had so much fun. Thanks for getting in the car with strangers!


  18. Glad you made it home safely! It was a great weekend, wasn’t it? Still processing it all, but it feels good to be energized about writing again. Can’t wait to watch your story unfold!

  19. You are so my new favorite find. So glad you pulled up a seat next to mine at the conference!

  20. Wait! Wait! There's a Napoleon Dynamite board game? And you got to meet Amy Sullivan? Sigh. I so should have gone to that conference!

  21. can we start a hairy knobby knee revolution?

  22. you made me giggle right out loud. I read all the airport ones to my hubby. Sometimes I feel like I should invite you and your fam over for dinner 'cuz I feel like I know you. If you're ever traveling to Canada, come on over! I'll even meet you at the airport so you don't have to navigate ;)

  23. Home is my favorite too...and these...

    A three year old joyfully screaming "Mommy" and taking a running leap into my arms.

    Snuggling up to my husband in my own bed.

  24. hilarious post.
    sounds like you had a party in the airport!
    can't wait to read your book one day!

  25. No matter where I roam, oh how I do love my home. I just know one day I'll be reading your book, and it will be on the nights of couch sleeping.


  26. I completely agree with #8. You can never go wrong with it. Glad you made it home safely!

  27. Sounds like your trip home was filled with adventure and mishaps. I had delayed flights and returned home much later than expected. But home is my absolute favorite too, and it felt so good to make it back here. Loved meeting you at SheSpeaks!

  28. OK, 19 through 27 cracked. me. up!! My husband read them over my shoulder, and they cracked him up, too. ;)

    Loved, loved, loved meeting you in real life! You are a hundred kinds of AWESOME. And your writing?? Holy smokes, you are crazy gifted. Love your heart and your sense of humor!

    And next time we dine together? I promise not to ask a zillion questions!

    Much love, Friend! xoxo

  29. my knees are too bumpy for a close shave! so you have my sympathy!! x

  30. Oh how number 34 resonates with me. Home is my favorite, too!

  31. I must confess, I follow alot of blogs, it's what I do..Everything from cookies to writing... I click on yours first. I wonder what you will have to say aobut today. Your point of view is overwhelmingly refreshing...I read...I smile...Thank You!

  32. So. glad. you. are. home. :)

    And meeting in the security line? Grace with a cherry on top! :) I only wished I had caught your eye when waving bye! :)

    Grace and joy in Him, friend! :) You shine Jesus....

  33. hilarious!
    I've been stalking you. no time to comment. My house is in shambles, my children are crazy, my succulents are dead (Thanks to the children). pray for me.

  34. Loved your list. Also loved the comments. The one about hair not growing on your knees after 60 - awesome! =)

  35. I wish I had those knees. Honest.

  36. May I quote you on #30? I am a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines and you nailed it! You are a funny funny girl. Love y'alls/ya'lls

  37. Your content is very interesting and touching. I am very happy to know that you have the same thought like me. I want to know more about it.