Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The bird(s)

Is it just me, or does this remind you of someone getting ready to give you the bird?

Come to think of it, it also reminds me a little of an actual bird - like a flamingo or something.

Is that why they call it "the bird"?

And be honest, have you ever given it to someone?

I think I brandished the bird once when I was in elementary school. Like...I almost did it. I wanted the person on the receiving end (don't remember who it was) to think I was really going to do it. But, of course, I didn't.

If you're wondering why I have birds on my mind, it's because I was pecked on the head by a raging red-winged blackbird whilst minding my own business at the zoo today.

It momentarily disoriented me. I heard some undisclosed flapping. I was dizzy and thought I had bonked my head on a tree branch, but how could that be, because we were by the fish stream and there are no trees right there?

I stood there stunned, rubbing my noggin with no idea what had just happened.

Did I mention I was dizzy?

One minute I'm hollering at Silas for littering, the next thing I know I bonk my head on something hard and I have an instant goose-egg and a headache.

Or did I bonk my head on something hard???

Wait a minute - what's all that flapping in the bush?

That blackbird looks drunk! And psychotic! And why does my head hurt?

(Cue random old-man stranger standing behind me.)

"I do believe you got pecked on the head by that red-winged blackbird."

Moments later, when I'm beginning to fully return to my wits, a young boy falls prey to the same, psychotic, abusive, violent blackbird.

If I ever return to the zoo, it won't be to giggle at the monkeys. That's all I'm saying.

And I'll have you know that this post started off with the title "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" but I got completely side-tracked by my photo. It happens. Especially when you're me. Clearly, I needed to process the events of the day. Your check's in the mail.

And maybe tomorrow you can hit me with your best shot.

I know I'd like to hit someone with my best shot. (His name starts with Black and ends with Bird.)

For now, I shall rest. If you never hear from me again, you'll know why.