Monday, May 16, 2011

Vacation 4.0 - Clawhands Edition

May this post hereby lay to rest any and all disagreements regarding the authenticity of my clawhands. Ahmen.

I can't look at this picture without laughing. Out loud.

My clawhand is simultaneously cleaning my lenses and magnifying my eye. Magic!

Have mercy.

The proof is in the talons.

One just never knows when the claw may begin to emerge.

Sometimes, all it takes is photo #36 in a thrift store.

One finger at a time.






I'm like Hugh Jackman in X-Men.

Only more foreboding.

Have I ever told you that my shoulders are uneven?

Then, there was the time my chiropractor stated, while I was face-down on the torture table, "You're a bit out of alignment, but that may just be due to the fact that your left leg is considerably shorter than your right."


But we're not here to talk about my many quirks.

My ears are lop-sided.

(I can't stop myself.)

Sunglasses always sit on my head all wonky-like.

I feel so freeeee!

Has your dentist ever audibly gasped over the fact that your two front teeth are of differing widths? No??? You're kidding me.

I thought that happened to everyone.

Except that wouldn't be possible, because he plainly pointed out whilst holding a tiny ruler up to each tooth that I was a virtual anomaly.

I'm thinking Barnum and Baily might pay top dollar for me.