Wednesday, February 2, 2011

In Which My Valentine's Day Crazy is Made Fully Known

Over a month ago, whilst fighting sleep in my childhood bedroom, I had a moment of inspiration.

Scratch that - I had two.

The first one was this.

I couldn't have been more pleased with the results.

My second idea was a bit more...abstract.

Let's call it "artsy".

Cutting edge! That's what it was.

Remember this?

Well, what if I could fashion a similar garland using pink grapefruits shaped into hearts?

Don't tell me you didn't have the same exact thought.

I field tested it using the right-most orange on the line, carefully crafting a heart from a circle.

It worked.

So, I landed my very own dehydrator, hauled a bag of grapefruits home from Aldi, and set to work.

Nearly 36 hours later, I began to have my doubts.

And I hadn't even started carving yet.

But the fruits finally dried (sorta) and I did start carving.
The carving swerved precariously off the shoulder and before long,
I was dangling on the edge of crying.

From carving to crying, in no time flat.

Those dastardly fruits refused to comply.

They hate Valentine's Day.

I have no idea what their problem is.

It turns out, their sour persona is well founded.

They crumbled all to pieces.

They tore clean through.

And worst of all? They weren't even pink.

But that's not the end.

There is a silver lining.

Or a pink one, rather.

I got one heck of a glass of grapefruit juice out of the whole ordeal.

And a suitable banner, to boot.

The end.


  1. Honey - I don't quite know what to say about this - but you done tried. I never did meet a grapefruit I liked, and now I'm really gonna give them the cold shoulder since they treated you so shamefully.

  2. Well at least you got a banner and a lovely glass of juice. Pay no mind to Jayme, grapefruit is grand!


  3. It was a very clever, fabulous idea! I am so sorry it didn't work out as you had imagined. I had a same experience today. I was inspired by your crayon hearts dangling in your kitchen window, so set out to complete it this afternoon. I grated the crayons and wondered the whole time how you had the patience to do all the crayons you did...btw, how many crayons did you use? I persevered and had some lovely piles of colorful shreddings. I even took your advice and snapped some pictures! I warmed the iron to low, got some old rags, and rummaged through the pantry to find wax paper. Uh wax paper. I had parchment paper, so decided to use that. I carefully ironed the paper and watched the melted crayon ooze off the sides. I impatiently waited for it to cool off, then took a sharpie and drew cute little hearts all over it. I took my shears and cute the first heart out. Halfway around the heart, wax started to crumble out. I slowly pulled away the paper, and saw shattered pieces all over! Major bummer! I wasn't going to let the parchment paper win and take away my joy of creating the "stained glass" hearts for my kitchen window, though!!! So, I bundled up my darling and headed out to buy wax paper. The shattered peices are still sitting in my kitchen waiting to be mended into Valentine hearts, though. I will try again tomorrow. I just couldn't face it today. Part of me is scared. I have no clue why I am affraid. But I had such high hopes for my kitchen window and having those beautiful hearts in it. And it didn't work! Tomorrow. I will try again tommorrow, and this time I'll have the wax paper. Who knew? I surely didn't! I let you know how it goes.

  4. this? this is why I love you. Because you are crazy. I love crazy. I am realizing that if one isn't a bit crazy, something is wrong with know?

  5. P.S. Did you SEE the valentines day thing on Sugar City Journal's blog? I thoughta you.

  6. I love the fact that, not only did you try this, you shared it with us! :)

  7. This is great, so funny! I love that you tried, the banner looks great, and the oranges will still be top on my list! Thanks for sharing, love that you keep it real!

  8. flower patch're so much fun! i noticed the clever banner before i read the post!

  9. I think I can smell those grapefruits here. They look so juicy!

  10. At least you gave it your best shot! Your header looks so cute!


  11. If nothing else, you showed your kids what perserverence looks like! You know, if you opened an Etsy shop, someone would buy that thing..just sayin'...:)

  12. A+ for great effort! You are diligent, that I am sure of. By the way, I love love love your juice glass. :)

  13. Good effort!! And great banner : ) Mean ole grapefruits!

  14. I have a huge grapefruit tree in my back yard...produces 500 a season...want some? You are funny!

  15. Such a good try! I admire your creativity. :)
    I too LOVE Valentines decorations. I think it's the colors.

  16. Brilliant!

    and how chic is that header;)

  17. You did well...

    It's quite creative and very artsy-fartsy.

  18. At least you're thinking creatively. Can't beat yourself up there.

  19. So... does this mean you carved them BEFORE you dried them? Is that how you got the juice? How would it work if you dried them and then just took a knife/scissors to them? I like the ones you have up on your banner, so either you're hiding the failures, or your idea of failure is quite different from mine.

    (Crazy thought: you're not OCD, are you?)

    (Just kidding!)

    And by the way, there is a huge correlation between hearts and crying. You're in good company.

  20. I just hope that grapefruit does not have the audacity to go bragging to the others about being in the flowerpatch house. For shame.

  21. that grapefruit juice looks delightful right now. yummy! and yea for loving v-day even, if your craft project doesn't work out as expected :)

  22. Kudos for trying. You will always be able to say you TRIED! :D All I got through in the valentine craft department was some mushy playdough. I admire the creativity!

  23. ha ha! I was hoping to see them more pink, but they are still cute and the glass of juice is the perfect pink!

  24. grapefruit are meany faces that way. glad you squeezed out a beaut of a banner in spite of them.

  25. Bah Humbug to Grapefruit! They must be the Scrooge of the citrus world!

  26. Your posts always make me smile! I love your grapefruit idea, even if it didn't pan out like planned! It was clever just the same!

  27. Jennifer Jo - Nope, I dried them THEN carved them. The juice came from all of the grapefruit ends. :) And OCD? Moi???


    ps - The hearts shown were the only ones out of the bunch that cooperated. It didn't seem like I could eke a garlands out of 3 measly hearts!

  28. aww, I feel your pain.
    But, you're right, that banner is fab!

  29. Orange ya glad you didn't try it with bananas? Lift your glass of pink grapefruit juice and drink to that beautiful garland you made!

    Your Friend,

  30. Well you have this experience! Cute header though! Traci

  31. a valiant effort to be sure! I think they are loverly. :)

    And grapefruit juice? Do you put a boatload of sugar in that so your cheeks to land in a permanent state of pucker?

  32. To quote the Beastie Boys "She's Crafty" rock on with yo creative self!

  33. Oh I'd lOvE to win!

    And I LoVe finding great new bloggers!

  34. i lingered over your beautiful header for a long time--and that was before i read this post!

    i'm glad to know someone else can be driven to crafting tears. it happens.