Wednesday, February 2, 2011

In Which My Valentine's Day Crazy is Made Fully Known

Over a month ago, whilst fighting sleep in my childhood bedroom, I had a moment of inspiration.

Scratch that - I had two.

The first one was this.

I couldn't have been more pleased with the results.

My second idea was a bit more...abstract.

Let's call it "artsy".

Cutting edge! That's what it was.

Remember this?

Well, what if I could fashion a similar garland using pink grapefruits shaped into hearts?

Don't tell me you didn't have the same exact thought.

I field tested it using the right-most orange on the line, carefully crafting a heart from a circle.

It worked.

So, I landed my very own dehydrator, hauled a bag of grapefruits home from Aldi, and set to work.

Nearly 36 hours later, I began to have my doubts.

And I hadn't even started carving yet.


But the fruits finally dried (sorta) and I did start carving.
The carving swerved precariously off the shoulder and before long,
I was dangling on the edge of crying.

From carving to crying, in no time flat.

Those dastardly fruits refused to comply.


They hate Valentine's Day.

I have no idea what their problem is.

It turns out, their sour persona is well founded.

They crumbled all to pieces.

They tore clean through.


And worst of all? They weren't even pink.

But that's not the end.

There is a silver lining.

Or a pink one, rather.


I got one heck of a glass of grapefruit juice out of the whole ordeal.

And a suitable banner, to boot.

The end.