Thursday, December 30, 2010

My Anti-Resolutions

My New Year's Resolution is not to become a Mini Van Mama.

But we bought one anyway.

Hallelujah, I'm one of "them"! I'm a soccer mom! And my kids don't even play!

Hallelujah, there will be no more of this in my life!

Even better, for the very first time, our ride was made in the 21st century. Holla, boyee! It only took us 10 years to get with the program. We made the current decade by about...oh, 2 days.

You know you want one. Just admit it.

~

It is not my New Year's resolution to ring in the New Year looking like I went a couple rounds in a bar brawl.

It is also not my New Year's resolution to publicly post a particularly unattractive photo of myself for all the world to see.

But I'm rockin' a bruiser (courtesy of Hit Baby (it was an accident)) anyway. And I don't care who knows it.

Hello, wrinkles. Hello, post-head-cold nose. Hello, fivehead. I blame the wind and the cold and the kids and the sleep-deprivation and Cory's camera and an unfortunate glitch in my genetic code for you the whole lot of you. Love You Lots! (Remember when LOL meant Love You Lots?)

(Sweet Cheeks wore hers so much more fetchingly last month (courtesy of late-night ballet moves gone awry)...)

My name is Shannan.

I rock a mini van and a shiner at the very same time.

Fear me.

45 comments:

  1. Let me know when positions are available for your BFF. I MUST apply. :) Happy New Year my dear....I can not wait to see how 2011 looks on you and your lovely family.

    Cheers~
    e

    ReplyDelete
  2. Welcome to da club girl! I call mine "thuh swagger wagon"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rock the minivan! You'll be rolling into the new year in style! But you need a better story about the eye, can't you stretch the truth a wee bit? Rabid raccoon attack? throwdown over the only white van on the lot? lost battle for the last holiday cookie?

    ReplyDelete
  4. You rock them both ever so gracefully. Almost well enough to make me jealous- of the mini-van, not the shiner.

    Joy K.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are totally rockin the mini van!!! Ouch on the shiner, he's got good aim.....clocked you both in the eye......sign that boy up for some baseball!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. so happy you have a new for you vehicle! crammed carseat jam in the backseat is no fun! :) so great to be catching up on your blog....you're my breath of fresh air!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are rockin all that and cracking me UP. Haven't visited in FOREVER, but glad I stopped by. You are hilarious and HAWT with that shiner. LOL-Laugh out loud OR love ya lots, your choice! Happy New Year to you!
    ~Misti

    ReplyDelete
  8. So confused! How are you both sportin' bruisers?? Takes me a minute to get caught up. Lovin' the mini-van. You NEEDED that baby! Happy New year friend.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I just woke my kid up laughing at fivehead. You are so freaking funny!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love all of this!!! All those smiling faces in the van make every moment driving a "mini van" worth it!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Never knock the mini van. The mini van is your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Did Hit Baby use the yellow hammer? He looked so joyful looming over Ruby with his weapon in hand. Sign that kid up for Baby Boxing already.
    Never had a mini-van myself and I kind of feel like I missed out on something special.
    p.s. It's below zero at my house.

    ReplyDelete
  13. And possibly the cutest vest I've ever seen... Where did you get it?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've always wanted a black eye.

    Lucky.

    bye.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I loved my minivan! And you look like a badass with your black eye, so there you go...you can tell people you kicked the butt of the last guy who made fun of you in your minivan. ;) OWN that minivan, girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You are FAH-EARRRR-CE! :-) Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are so cute! I find it hard to fear you. Thanks for the smile!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Why is the minivan such a touchy subject? While running my college mouth I would run on about how I will never drive a minivan. I would have a suburban. Then gas went up a bit from the 99 cent days, and maybe I learned about a little issue called the environment. Minivan, I hope to make you mine some day. Your sliding doors seem so cool to me now.

    The shiner really adds to the whole thing. But I would prefer not to have one of those when I get my van.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love that mini-van! Glad to see you are in the club - never thought I'd want one, but oh yeah baby I love my minivan!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I graduated from the mini-van to a full size SUV three years ago because I couldn't fit all five kids & their respective car/booster seats in the mini-van. I'd take the mini-van back anyday! I still hate parking that darned thing.
    I took a severe hit to the face courtesy of a small boys head a couple years ago and it broke my cheekbone. Those little heads are surprisingly hard!
    And fivehead...please tell me you've watched Ten Things I Hate About You that used to be on ABCFamily. It's another cable show (and a teenybopper cable show at that!) watched via Hulu this time but fivehead is in there.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ha ha ha ha.... My daughters always said that she DID NOT want to be a mini van mama. One has 4 kids and YES, she is now a mini van mama. The other has 2 kids and is holding on tightly to the Camry. She REFUSES to drive a van and you know what? I don't blame her.

    Di

    ReplyDelete
  22. Saw your comments @ Farmgirl Paints and had to come by. :o)

    CUTE kiddos! I've managed to avoid being a mini-van mom and now w/ my one and only kid being 16, I think I'm in the safety zone... :o)

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Before you truly rock the minivan, you must first initiate it. Here's whatcha do: go to your nearest supermarket or Walmart type store and ram a cart into your new ride to achieve the minor ding/scratched look. If that's too much trouble, just have a friend park close to you then open their door hard enough to leave a ding in your passenger side. Then find some sort of pole to back into. Carefully, mind you! You don't want to dent the rear bumper, you just want a few streaks across it. Now...your minivan is initiated. Enjoy! And the good thing is that next time one of the kids' kicks a ball or throws a frisbee into your car and leaves a mark, you won't even freak out. You'll roll your eyes and laugh like I now do :)Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I read your blog almost every day. Sorry for not commenting as often as I would like to. Love your shots and stories !!!

    Hope you and your sweet family have a wonderful New Year !!! ... ^___^

    ReplyDelete
  25. With kiddo number three arriving in March...my sweet LITTLE SUV has it's days numbered. I am so very hard trying to resist being a "mini van mom" but if we must, we must. I say we just do it with style. This ride will require some seriously sassy sunglasses, maybe a posh seat cover, as well as an unapologetic bumper sticker of some kind (not the ones with the stick figure family...totally predictable). When you buckle the kids in with easy...give yourself a high five and a pat on the back. Then pump some rocking kids tunes. Word.

    ReplyDelete
  26. You definitely rock the mini van!!! I just got one 2 months ago and let me say "it makes my world everyday driving the kiddos every where so much sweeter! it's the driver that makes is so very cool and chic to drive and you are definitely cool and chic even with a shiner ;)
    xo,
    LuLu

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh mini van I remember the day.. had a turquoise one and loved it so. It has it's time and place.
    Fivehead cracks me up. I am the owner of a 6-pack gone to 12-pack then ,prob 24-pack heading into pony keg! Damn you Christmas cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  28. haha five head is a term of endearment in our big headed family too...
    you rock!
    blessings for a fabulous new year!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Seriously? You would rock a horse and buggy. Love your new wheels. May they be as reliable as your ugly, cozy blanket.

    ReplyDelete
  30. you are one cool chick!

    and i am thinking that "cool" is not the "in" word anymore but I just can't seem to stop using it! i use it as a complete compliment! :)

    happy new year!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Somehow I missed out on the mini van thing... and I WAS a soccer and hockey mom.

    Happy New Year and happy "new ride";)

    Chris

    ReplyDelete
  32. I think you will love the Mini Van. They are really oh so handy!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I remember feelin' the same way as you.....no mini van for me! That was 6 years ago, and it's time for us to get another one. Ours is 11 years old! But I wouldn't give up the space when we travel. We can put the kids in the far back seat and not deal with them! Hey, at least you were rockin your free purse from Jeanne Oliver. Doesn't she rock?! Almost as much as you!

    ReplyDelete
  34. What a great post. I stand in fear of you and the minivan!!

    Happy New Year!
    -FringeGirl

    ReplyDelete
  35. Kev and I looked at minivans tonight!
    We waited til after the car lot had closed and then went and peeked in the windows.
    I want one!
    (And some bodies to fill it with!) :-)

    El

    ReplyDelete
  36. At least your minivan looks good!!!! I am driving an older mini van and currently it has a broken wind shield!!!! Yeah I am stylish!!!!! WE broke the wind shield loading wood from Menards and closed the trunk and there wasn't enough room.On a positive note ,this minivan is soooo comfy!!!!! Have a great New Year!!!! Sara

    ReplyDelete
  37. Lol and lol! You rock Shannon!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Fear you.
    I shall.
    But oh gosh I love this post and I love you!!!

    ReplyDelete