Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Mr. Lee is Smitten

My boy received a package in the mail last week.

'Twas a dream come true.

A box filled with National Guard (a.k.a. "Army") stuff - just for him. There was even a personal letter from a real, live soldier.

Arriving on the heels of his proclamations to take up arms in the Korean War, the timing couldn't have been better.

He pulled on his Air Force coat (another special gift!), stuffed his backpack full of new gear, strapped on his wooden rifle, and got to work.

That night, we read every single word of the two National Guard brochures. I had half a mind to list "National Guard brochures" on his weekly reading log.

We took a few pictures and he granted himself full veto power.

His attempt at a "fierce, stern Army Guy face" fell short the first time. In his words, "I look kind of nervous."

Now that's feeee-us.

The next day, he donned his camo pants, his Army t-shirt and his camo winter coat and hauled his National Guard notebook off to kindergarten show-and-tell.

I think you get the picture here - Mr. Lee has himself a full-blown fascination. Thank you, Army-Guy Friend. You made his year.

He also got some Q-T this weekend with his beloved Chemistry set - another semi-recent fairy godmother bestowing.

Homey cannot get enough of chemistry. He can't. quit. the junk. He has taken a shine to making up pretend chemical names and fashioning mundane household objects into quasi-test tubes and Erlenmeyer flasks.

Oh, to have a crystal ball...

But the biggest news of all?

Calvin Lee is full-on smitten by a certain mystery girl at his school with "brown skin and tan hair". Sources report, "She's so, so, so pretty!"

Have mercy, Marvin. I have never heard this dude talk about anyone being pretty, save my own, pretty self. (And I'm pretty sure he has to come down on the right side of that debate. It's in the handbook.)

A recent conversation taking place on the way to school:

Calvin: Oh, I hope we have sing-along today!
Mama: (Playing dumb) Why do you like sing-along so much?
Calvin: You know. That pretty goawl is there.
Mama: Have you introduced yourself yet?
Calvin: No! She only talks to other goawls!
Mama: Well, that's ok! But maybe you could just say hi sometime and introduce yourself.
Calvin: (Serious as frost-bite) I think I'm going to say, "Hello, Your Majesty".
Mama: Uh, that might not be the best idea. Maybe you could just say, "Hi. My name is Calvin"?
Calvin: Maybe.

I am now giving dating advice to my five-year old. Life is mean and unfair. And if you disagree, then just tell me this - why is it 10:26 and I'm still wearing jeans? I'll tell you why. Because life is mean and unfair. Why did my husband leave me alone for three entire days to fend for myself and my small charges? Mean and unfair.

My baby has a crush on a goawl and I think I'll just stop right there and go cry myself to sleep.