Thursday, December 23, 2010

December Light

This day already feels like a prelude to something very big.

I was right - today is so much better.

Yesterday was crabby and snappish and really quite unfortunate. It was the opposite of Christmas Vacation. My patience dangled as precariously as a trove of glass ornaments in the wake of a Wiley two-year old.

But today?

Well, I woke up to a sparkly clean house, thanks to an evening showing last night. I grumble my way through the prep-work for each blessed showing, but once it's over, I'm so happy that it forced me to tidy the heck up. One of these days I'm pretty sure we'll receive the very unexpected surprise of an offer, but until then? I'll take the clean. I'll take it.

I entered the above photo in P-Dub's Christmas Bokey contest. (Yes, it's supposed to be bokeh, but my fingers are hopped up on pineapple and Bagel Bites and Bokey seems kind of funny to me, after all. And yes, it's supposed to be Holiday Bokeh, but I default to Christmas.) Do you think she'll pick my book wreath picture?

She will if she knows what's good for her.

Oh dear. I just publicly threatened The Pioneer Woman.

That's something I would have expected yesterday.

(Regroup! Regroup!)

For the record, she will most certainly not choose my photo. She seems inclined toward twinkly light bokeh and color and heavy post-processing and photographers who are actually photographers, not a wife who slinks off with her husband's camera just to see how much damage she can do. Who am I to argue with Dubsie? That girl is the Bee's Knees. She can't even help it.

Speaking of sparkly lights, Silas is fully enamored.

Many, many, many, many, many times a day he points to the tree and says, "De. pitty. lights." Then he points to the overhead fixture and says, "De. pitty. lights." Then he looks around the room very quickly, searching for something with remotely reflective qualities and says, "De. pitty. lights."

We finalized his adoption last Friday and I was worried that he would pitch a full-on fit right there in front of the Honorable So-And-So. We finalized with the same judge 5 years ago and Calvin, as if on cue, reached up and stroked my cheek and said "Mama! Mama!" in the softest, cutest voice you could ever hope to hear.

I had visions of Silas arching his back and screaming "Nononononononono!"

Silly mama.

I held him on my hip while he looked around the room and pointed. "De. pitty. lights....De. pitty. lights...De. pitty. lights." He reached out and grabbed the little wiry microphone at one point and Honorable So-And-So laughed. Then, at the very end, my boy announced to the roomful of waywards and misguideds, the boreds and the happies, the stenographer and the bailiff, the buttoned-up attorneys in bad shoes, "I hungy".

So we took him to lunch.

I'm noticing this week - this month - that December's light has an allure all its own. I had never noticed before. It's not glowy, like September's. It's not showy, like June's.

It's blurry and blue-tinged. A whisper of beauty with just enough time to race out to play before packing it up and heading home. These days are so short and so cold, but I'm toasted up with the truth of the season this year, and the knowledge that the season has no end, after all.

Right now, I type to the song of my two oldest littles playing one room over. They received a pardon from traditional room-bound Quiet Time, and they show their gratitude through the cooperative stacking of blocks. Ruby sings nonsense and Calvin says things like, "Isn't this an exhausting day?" They are hard at work, building something out of nothing, wielding plastic guys named Travis and polyester-tressed gals named Alice, Lauren and Shoshy.

They, along with their little brother, are some of the brightest parts of me. They inspire me to try harder and try less. They inspire me to eaves-drop like no body's business.

They are my Pitty Lights.

So, happy eve-of-the-eve, my friends. Your encouragement and humor and head-scratching interest in my little life has amped up my world. I am ever-honored that you come back here and read my scratches. It is humbling and illuminating, and as it gets more difficult to keep up with all of you, please promise me that you know for sure that I appreciate you to the gauzy December moon and back.


  1. Having a bad day makes the good days all the more special.

    Congratulations on the finalizing of your adoption of Silas.

    You and your family are' de pitty lights' for a lot of us. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

    Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

  2. I'm wiping tears away as I write this. You are a Pitty Light in this dark world. Even though I don't "know" you I know that you are Beauty Full to me.
    Happy Christmas,

  3. Hoping that your Christmas is filled to the brim with pitty light. Happy Christmas Farmgirl friend! love from my snowy corner of England, Belinda xx

  4. God brings the light to your heart and life, even when there's grumbling....there's a child's smile or a gentle touch that melts mommy's heart. Peace in your life and waves of happiness, Jennifer jennsthreegraces

  5. Happy Eve of the Eve....

    love your Christmas Bokeh.. :) turned out so much better than mine...which didn't turn out AT ALL.

  6. So happy to hear the good news for your family & Silas! We all have bad days, but when we wake up from them we realize all the beauty around us! Some days my whistling Bill of a child drives me to my wits end, and then I realize - look how happy she is. Snaps the grumpiness right out of me! Have a very merry Christmas!

  7. you are adorable. have a very merry Christmas, shan. xoxo

  8. Congratulations on finalizing Silas' adoption! And may you all have an extra happy Christmas and a new year filled with goodness and mercy...

  9. Looks like you have many good gifts. May you have a very blessed and wonderful Christmas filled with Pitty Lights. :)

  10. Aww Miss Shannan you cause me to tear. You have been de pitty lights so often for me. Love to find a new post from you. Always satisfies when I am "hungy" for a story! Happy eve of the eve my friend :)

  11. Girl you rocked the pretty lights with your photos, a little christmas Brokeh and you did a world of good, if the pioneer woman knew what was good for her, she would choose your photos, AMEN! Thanks for allowing us into your have a way with words, if you didn't know that by know but I reckon you already knew that! have a wonderful holiday and a Merry Christmas with all the pitty lights in your life! muwahh!

  12. I absolutely love every minute of your blog....hearing about your everyday makes me smile! Silas is lucky to have you for a Momma, as are all three of your children. So here's to days and nights filled with pitty lights, long after the trees are taken down and the decorations are put away. Merry Christmas!

  13. You are not alone in your swings of holiday merriment highs and lows. It does it to the best of us. Congrats on your making things official with Silas. Good luck with your hokey bokey and a very merry Christmas to you & your sweet family!

  14. I looove your blog, actually I take the time to read it and just immerse myself in your amazing writing style. My blog and writing style for that matter, are not nearly as interesting but your's makes me want to write better! Your diverse little family is fun to watch too, that is more like mine. Merry Christmas!

  15. So touching and always! On this eve-of-the-eve, I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas!
    P.S I get tons of 'bokey' pics every year. It's only because Christmas tree lights are not my friends;0)

  16. Merry Christmas!

    "to the gauzy December moon and back"...

    and around Jupiter!... as we say in these here parts.

    Joy K. in S.C.

  17. Love this post... just what I needed to read today. And congrats on finalizing the adoption. Hope your sweet family has a wonderful Christmas... and Christmas Eve too.... Christmas Eve may be better than Christmas...yikes... did I just say that?

  18. Shannan. You are such a gifted writer! I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU NRRD TO WRITE A BOOK! Have a very Merry Christmas! Hugs, Traci

  19. I'm a reader, not a commenter in general, but wanted you to know, cause it seemed you might like it...we call today Christmas Adam. You know, cause Adam came before Eve! ;) So Merry Christmas Adam to you!

  20. I just want to say that you have inspired me, a woman 20 years older than you, with your words. I feel your heart, and remember the years long ago, when my boys were "littles." You feel so deeply and you are so honest with your heart's true voice. I wish you all a "Pitty" Christmas filled with light. Thank you.

  21. I love your world, feel it a privilege to be part of it, and love that you show your heart to us all...even on days when the lights around you aren't so enchanting! That keeps it real, and we all can relate! Conrats on the final signing on Silas!!! That is awsome!
    Have a Merry Christmas with all your littles!

  22. I just want you to know that every time a post from you shows up on my reader I think, "Yea! Now I get to read some GOOD words!" I just love the way you scratch them together. Thank you for blessing me with your words.

    Merry Christmas!

  23. Love all the pitty lights! P-dub would be foolish not to pick you...seriously those are the best housewife pics evah! Congrats on everything being a official. I remember my best friend having her court date and getting adopted when I was little. BIG DAY! Have a wonderful next few days with your littles. Try to just breathe it all in:)

  24. Friend,

    I want to wish the Happiest Christmas ever to you and your precious, God drawn up family.

    I also would like you to know that I'm your most faithful blog stalker, nope scratch that, reader. I read every last word. Since I've found your blog I've been going back through your archives and reading too. So often I don't leave a comment because I'm just sort of dumbfounded by how much your writing means to me. Whether it's meant to cheer me up, inspire me, or encourage me--it always evokes emotion. I don't even have words that would describe what I feel or gosh, I just plain old don't know how to respond. Please know, I APPRECIATE your writing ever so much--and believe you are writing pieces of Gods' heart.

    I will happily await for a book specifically written on adoption-or just your whole lives, but until then...

    A Merry Christmas to you! :)

  25. ok you don't know me. but i read your blog and love reading your words. you always say something beautiful and it's always something i need to hear. thank you! merry christmas to you and your family.

  26. You are delightful and I thank you for making my evening's "pittier" as I enjoy your blog before I say good night. Merriest of Christmases to you!!!

  27. "...exhausting day"? That Calvin is a scream! He truly is.

    I wish you and Mr Lee, The Rubster, Siley Pie and CMB a most fun, happy and loving Christmas. I've sooo enjoyed following you this year Shannan and really look forward to doing the same in 2011.

    With christian love, Ky xx

  28. Love your bokey. P-dub will pick you for sure! This was such a sweet post. I hope you and your littles have a wonderful Christmas!

  29. Dear Shannan,
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
    It was this time last year that I discovered your blog....
    You made me laugh when I didn't think I could laugh again....
    You inspire me in so many ways!
    You are a beautiful person... Thank you for sharing your life with us....
    Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!
    p.s. Your photos of your wreath and Christmas lights are beautiful!!
    She has to pick you.... Don't you just love her! : )

  30. Hi sweet girl. I've been out of the loop, on a holiday, sick-girl imposed hiatus. I've missed you. I'm here catching up on you and your rowdies. Seems life has been throwing some challenges your way lately. I'm sorry kiddo. I'm hoping you and yours enjoy a lovely Christmas. Love you.

  31. Merry Christmas!! I love all your spang-dangly pictures, and I'll be watching for it to show up on P-Dub's post! First thing I did this mornin' was turn on all the "Pitty Lights". It's amazing how with a flick of a switch I suddenly feel like a little kid again.

  32. Merry Christmas Es!
    I love your photo, I love this post, and I love YOU!

    Layla :-)

  33. Congratulations on the finalization. WIshing you lots of pitty lights in the
    New Year.