Saturday, November 20, 2010

How I Spent Last Night (and The Better Part of Today)

I imagine some of you had hot dates last night.

Perhaps Lady Fortune was on your side and you dined on Mexican cuisine.

Maybe you ordered pizza.

Watched a movie.

Read a good book.

Lounged in sweatpants.

I have a feeling many of you enjoyed some of the finer things in life. That's what Fridays are all about, after all.

As for me? I spent my weekend at a church advisory board retreat, along with two other ladies and EIGHT men*. I spared everyone the sight of my sweatpants and suffered silently in my denim britches.

We had snacks, which sounds good in theory, but the snacks included Twizzlers (blech) with nary a tortilla chip in sight.

I did have a can of Pepsi, so there's that.

I bunked in the room directly beneath two of the loudest rowdies in the bunch. If I had access to a broom handle, I would've been thumping the ceiling, a'la my Freshman dorm-era. Nevermind the fact that I actually found their rowdiness a tad bit endearing. What they don't know won't hurt them.

But the worst part?

The guys told Chuck Norris jokes all. night. long.

Then they repeated the "best" ones all afternoon today.

I didn't have the heart to tell them that they weren't really very funny.

Oh wait, yes, I did, in fact, have the heart.

In all fairness, I think I laughed at three of them.

I nominated myself as the resident Barometer for Chuck Norris Humor. The BCNH.

No one else voted for me, but I write up the minutes, so I suppose I'll be having the last laugh.

Just tell me this: Why are guys so weird?

And please, allow me to live vicariously through you. What did you do last night? Indulge me, por favor.

*My fellow advisory board members are some of the best people around these parts. We always have a good time. And it's quite interesting to ruminate about everyone's sock choices whilst having important, heart-felt discussions. But I do believe I could have done without the Chuck.


  1. That doesn't sound like fun. I agree, what do guys see in those kind of movies.......yuck.
    I am afraid my evening was not exciting at all. I got home from work at 6, made dinner and then crashed.....see boring. Sorry. More fun coming soon.

  2. well we spent the evening watching tv reruns while i wrapped my door sweater. couldn't stop thinking about it after seeing these
    so my cutie christmas one should be done soon!
    not terribly exciting, but probably better than endless chuck jokes all night. :)

  3. I went to bed with a migraine. Thrilling, no?

  4. Oh Shannan, what good times we had... but in all seriousness, Chuck Norris...

  5. I went out Christmas shopping with my hubby. We took advantage of a parent's night! Sooooo nice and needed.


  6. I did a Willow House Party for a bunch of fun rowdy ladies last night
    Not very exciting to most but it was a fun friday night!!
    BTW love your new signature. Very cute!!

  7. This is why I don't get involved at church. I keep a low profile. Did I just say that out loud? No? I just typed it? Shew.

    What did I do last night? Waited on my husband and his cast and took care of two kids...all night long. Actually, that's what I've been doing for a week now, and that's what I'm going to be doing for the next 6 weeks according to the surgeon.

    I'm trying to channel my inner Proverbs 31 woman. Specifically 31:12. Pray for me.

  8. Actually it was a little bit of both of your guesses~ Homemade Pizza night ~ One white pizza with evoo, ricotta, spinach, mozzerella, shrimp and fresh garlic. One red pizza with hot Italian sausage, green pepper, onion and mozzerella.
    And a Netflix film ~ Robin Hood with Russell Crowe.
    We were loving the Friday night :)

    I enjoy your blog ~ very much. You are a fantastic writer and I think we could bond over a bag of tortilla chips. Your fave bag of Sanitas White Corn would go great with my fave bag of Garden of Eatin Blue Corn Chips.

    ~ Andrea in NH

  9. Sounds like someone secretly likey?

  10. I worked until 8pm, then came home and ate buttered toast while watching tv. I'm a one woman party!

  11. Ohhhmygoodness, dear.
    You crack me up.

    Let's see. What did I do last night?
    My word!!
    Last night our church had a lady's night of relaxation....I got a chair massage, paraffin on my hands, and a facial. And we ate stuff like chocolate covered strawberries, or chocolate bon-bons, or...celery sticks and cheese. No joke.
    It was actually quite lovely, and cozy.
    Wonderful time.
    Sorry not enough details, like how much Ghirardelli hot chocolate I had and so forth, but I think you're a smashingly good barometer for CN humor!

  12. Alright. My weekend evenings are usually pretty quiet, but I do have to admit we had a fun time last night. Hubby, kids and I went into our local small town for their 'downtown Christmas' kick-off. A life nativity scene, horse drawn wagon, music, candy canes, popcorn, luminary lights... It was pretty sweet.

    Oh man... Chuck Norris jokes. I don't think I could take it! Hopefully tonight is better for you!

  13. Well, we took a trip. A trip that is supposed to take three hours and ended up taking over six hours. I was delirious by the end. The only redeeming part was that i got to see my mom :)

  14. Last night I sat in bed and read Chapter 17 of your adoption series on our laptop while my husband watched Predators, rented from RedBox... I glanced up a few times and had to close my ears and hum at one point so I wouldn't have nightmares! Thankfully this is a very rare occurence - normally he rents romantic comedies or action/adventure movies and we watch together... these would NOT include Chuck Norris movies! LOL

  15. Last night all the kids came and we had a wiener roast in the fireplace. Then I watched some tv and hit the bed by 11.
    Chuck Norris jokes are very funny if you send them in an email to my son- in- laws and change the name Chuck Norris to Stuart Fox(their father-in-law). My nephew did that and they laughed their butts off. Men!

  16. I went to bed at 7 after a long trip to town and then Costco, where I found myself amazingly angry at the fact that they moved the DIAPERS AGAIN!
    I calmed myself down, then I went to bed.

    Chuck Norris can count to infinity twice.

  17. I love your blog. So sorry you had to endure the men's jokes. NOT fun. But probably a lot more fun than my Friday night. I was sick. Sorry I couldn't help you. But you've helped me have a good laugh on a Saturday night so thank you!

  18. Had a great Friday night, so excited that you can finally live through my life...just as we all enjoy yours daily! I spent the evening with my sis! It was a fun girls night, Thai fav, a lovely glass of wine, and a really funny Renne Zellweger film...(New in Town), she plays a business woman who was sent to Minnesota to oversee a production plant. Her introduction to Minn. was totally crazy funny! Popcorn and p.j.s, full belly, and so many laughs...just what I needed! Wish you had been there too! : )

  19. Was travelling from Paris to London on Eurostar!xx

  20. I actually did have a date with my husband and it was wonderful...if you count going to a preschool fundraiser wonderful. Pluses included 1. free drink tickets 2. Seeing the other parents all gussied up 3. winning a silent auction itemn 4. having some time with my dude. A good night indeed.

  21. laughed out loud - good ol' chuck, will it ever end?! okay, so if last night was Friday night i worked on some knitting and watched the Carolina bball game with hubby (so romantic) and if last night was Saturday i took my mentoring group to the symphony and elbowed teens for an hour trying to keep them awake. awesome weekend.

  22. I watched Parenthood with the Hubs and nibbled on Toll house cookies that me and the girls made earlier in the day, and I had a leftover bowl of chicken and dumplin's that was heaven if I do say so myself, and I watched an episode of Jamie at Home where he made the most delicous tomato salad I have ever laid eyes on chuck norris thankfully, and when you find out why guys are weird do tell.

  23. chuck norris can slam a revolving door

  24. You guessed it - ordered pizza, watched movies, flipped through magazines, and caught up on blogs.

  25. Yesterday (Saturday) I went to a Christmas arts and crafts show, where I spent $1 on a small bag of kettle corn, and it wasn't that good. THEN, hubby and I actually DID go have Mexican food - I had a fiesta quesadilla - 1/2 chicken and 1/2 spinach, and it was very good, though their chips were stale. Then, just after we got home, my delicious dinner finished it's journey into our septic tank. Obviously it wasn't as good as I thought it was! But at least it was a meal that I did NOT cook - hallelujah!

  26. My mom always thought Glenny looked like Chuck. Glenny used to have a full beard. I tore my whole house apart, moving furniture about, crying because I'm dsyfunctional and watched Dexter. I didn't feel so dysfunctional after watching Dexter. Amen.

  27. We shopped for mattresses as a family. Ours is 13 years old, and feels every bit of those years. THEN we went to Applebees for supper. This is a rare occurance...we don't go out to eat much. It was fun!

  28. Mr. Shabbynest and I went out for dinner for our 1 month annivesary of wedded bliss. We went home and had the house all to our selves for the night! Sounds like maybe you need to find some more exciting ways to spend your Sat nights! Traci

  29. We made homemade pizza and ate in the living room while watching Frosty the Snowman!

  30. Oh my word! What is the deal with Chuck Norris jokes? How did he become a popular joke topic?!? I do not understand this.

  31. My Mom is right - there is a Chuck Norris website where you type in a name & it makes all the Chuck Norris sayings include the name you want. So ours were all about my Dad - Stu Fox packs a mean round house kick - in that sense it is hilarious :) Maybe you need to do that to amuse the men for your next meeting! We hung out at Moms as she said, but Saturday I got a real live date and it was fun :)

  32. I'm with you, what is it with those silly men and Chuck???? I went to a Stampin Up make and take for 3 hours!!! No kids, no husband just the girls, cake pops and good times.

  33. I understand that Chuck Norris is a very genuine Christian man. That's something! He did a movie about a kid with asthma, and endeared himself to me forEVER! {Sidekicks}

    My kids have asthma. Me too. . . . sigh . . . that movie meant the world to my little boy.

    {I'm not getting all sensitive on you. Just thought it was fun information.}