Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Big Adoption Series - Chapter 2


We never saw Jan again.

We got a running start and together, we jumped right off the ledge of needles and procedures and uncertainty. Our legs stretched out just far enough to reach the other side and before we could blink, we were on a whole new kind of ride. This one felt less rickety. Less jarring. We no longer braced ourselves each month for that familiar free-fall that left our hope battered and achy. We had climbed off the roller coaster and on to the ferris wheel, where we would come nose-to-nose with ups and downs, but where we felt much safer. We held hands in that swinging seat and noticed right away the loveliness of the view.

Right from the start, the idea wormed its way into our brains that we would be adopting a little girl. You could not have convinced me otherwise. I had always wanted loads of girls. We already had our girl name chosen. So, while the idea of a new kind of family took root in our hearts, we talked about where our Ruby would come from, what she would look like.

That first, slow ascent to the top was filled with big ideas and very little information. We knew nothing about adoption. We requested packets from a couple of agencies in our area and before long, we were on our way to Indianapolis to attend an informational meeting at Bethany Christian Services.

I noticed right away that most of the other couples seemed infinitely more knowledgeable about adoption. They all looked like real adults - capable, earnest, not especially given to the whims of fashion or style. They were sensible and generous in the exact way that parents, in my mind, should be. I tugged at my cute cardigan, probably found in the Junior's department, and wished I hadn't even bothered with make-up. I did my very best to appear mature and motherly and all the while, I felt like an impostor. We nodded our way through muddy terminology - dossier, referral, home study. We sat up straight and drank Sprite from paper cups as we swatted imperceptibly at nagging thoughts - we are too young, we don't know how to be parents, who would ever give us a baby? The swinging seat lurched ever-so-slightly, for the very first time as we came to understand all that would be required of us, when all I wanted was to sign a paper and order up my baby.

At the close of the meeting, an employee at Bethany came to talk with us, asking first which country we would be most interested in.

Romania!

Romania has not allowed international adoption for several years....

OK...China!

Both parents have to be at least 30 years old to adopt from China. You are both too young.

Then the truth came out - We really did not care what country our child came from. We could never begin to choose. It didn't matter.

With kind eyes that brimmed confidence in us, she said, "Have you ever thought about South Korea?"

We slowed to a stop, and still holding hands, we looked out around us at so much potential and so much love. She had pointed us right in the direction of our child, still utterly unknown to us, still very, very far away. None of that mattered. We swelled with all the hope of a promise. We breathed deep and held tighter, ready for the next go-round.

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Join me here next Tuesday for Big Adoption Series - Chapter 3

39 comments:

  1. Ahhhh... now this is a story I could read over and over again. I love adoption stories...especially yours! :)

    Just peeking in for a moment and thought I would pop over and say "Hello." :) So happy I did. I can now say " Goodnight" with the thoughts of your happy ending resting in my mind.

    Sweet Dreams, Friend!
    xo,
    Melanie

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  2. Yahoo! You are so right about the merry go round image. When we started our adoption story we had a 12 year old. I actually felt like the "old" people, and I almost felt guilty for being there - I had one biological child. Many of the other couples didn't. My infertility was different. I'm so glad to read your story. It's fun to hear all the different adoption stories out there. Good for you!

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  3. I'm loving this story!!! Too short though. Now I have to wait a whole week for the next episode. Boo hoo.

    xx

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  4. Wow. Even though I know how it ends I get goose bumps when I read it. Great writing. Thanks for putting it out there.

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  5. Loving this. Loving you, my friend. So fun to read your story. Thanks for sharing.

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  6. Isn't amazing how God intervenes and redirects us, moving us toward the very child He has his eye on and intends for us, even though that child is in some remote village on the other side of the planet? Is anything too hard for God?

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  7. Thank you for sharing this with us all. We are couple who is very close to running out of tests and procedures.... We've always planned to adopt but "later". "Later" might be approaching sooner than we realized.
    Thank you for sharing!
    Shannon

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  8. I'm not sure if I commented on Part One, but I loved reading it. You are a wonderful writer - I could see you and feel your pain in that doctor's office. It is inspiring to stand on the other side of God's word and see the truth in his promise that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. I have always daydreamed of adopting a child. Thanks for sharing your story!

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  9. I'm on the edge of my seat... a little teary eyed too. I love how you're able to take me there...I'm sitting right with you and even MY palms are starting to sweat! Love you girlie.

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  10. This is kinda like PW Black Heels to Tractor Wheels but better because it's about you and your journey :) Can't wait for chapter 3 girlie!

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  11. I can totally relate. We were the youngest by far at all our foster care trainings. We had no experience with parenting. I couldn't help but wonder what the others thought of us. Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.

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  12. So enjoying this series. And it's so true, the feeling of inadequacy, the nervousness, and not so sure if your the perfect candidate. Praise God for many of us who find out it's not quite like that in the end. Look forward to reading the next part. You are just so gifted, and thank goodness your using it to glorify Him. My favorite blog hands down.

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  13. I love how God picked the flowers to put in our basket." His ways are not our ways", and I am so glad they are not! Sometimes walking by faith happens only when our Lord takes us by the hand and leads us a step at a time.

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  14. I love that you are sharing this with all of us! What an inspirational story. I am loving the "how" you came to be an the incredible mommy of your sweet three! Wish the post wasn't so short, can't wait for next Tuesday!!!! : )

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  15. I feel like I'm watching you from the ferris wheel bucket next to you!! Love this! Is it next Tuesday yet? xo

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  16. and maybe someday he will get a snake...

    Well, I love how you are walking us through your experience, because I've never gotten past an internet search. No one tells you where to go or what to do next! I'm in a house of mirrors :)

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  17. she said, "Have you ever thought about South Korea?" I love when God shows up introduces someone to me, and they say something that is about to change the course of my life. All for His Glory.
    ~G~
    adore u

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  18. love this. sorry i didn't w/b from your comment on mine...i can't think of any good ideas of topics you should include in this series...i did think about it though...looking forward to next week :) much love, krista

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  19. We too ended up in Korea b/c we said China, and we weren't yet 30 at the time. Tell us more! :) Love reading this.

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  20. i can't wait till next tuesday!!! i am loving hearing your story. :)

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  21. Love, love, love. Your writing style always leave me wanting to read more-but this story has been on the edge of the details even more. Can't wait for the next installment. ;)

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  22. Having been a foster mother with Bethany Christian Services in South Carolina, I am reading your blog (one of my very favorite) feeling a real connection. I SO look forward to reading 'the rest of the story'! Tee

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  23. Oh thank you google reader! You were a recommendation and I am very glad! So interesting read your experience. Our experience in the uk has been a very different process but the scariness, the 'are we really ready for this?', the joy - it's all the same!! I've written about our experience up to mikey moving in with us. This anniversary of his adoption I'm going to be talking about contact with birth family and the day to day reality of having an adopted child with special needs plus two birth kids.

    Can't want to read more and more!!!! Xxx

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  24. ...i cannot stand this waiting a week for the next chapter...i think in the interest of some of us old people...you just need to tell all now...at once... immediately...please...

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  25. Shoot dang you little tease! I don't want it to end... next Tues seems an eternity. I am aware of the end but can't wait for the details!!

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  26. Yur killin me there fpfg. I want more. I feel like a junkie. I have had 5 miscarriges and I think the lord is using thisto give me direction, thank you so much. I will pray for Tues. to arrive quickly.

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  27. I think the general consensus here is that you shouldn't make us wait until next Tuesday to hear the rest. :) This is such a great story! I'm sure your kids will love having it written down like this! Thank you for sharing it with us too!

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  28. Pins and needles, Farmgirl. You know how to tell a story, that's for sure! Tuesdays are now my favorite day of the week!

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  29. I just read chapters 1 & 2 to find my eyes welling up with tears. I can't wait til next week.

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  30. I've enjoyed reading these adoption posts so much! It's great to hear the stories behind these cute little faces I see on your blog. :)

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  31. I'm with my Mom - next Tuesday is too long to wait! I can't wait to read more! I haven't ever adopted, but I can imagine your feelings in that meeting! Even having my own babies the night before the first one came I thought maybe I am too young, will I know what to do? Parenthood is scary in the best ways!

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  32. I love the way you share
    your heart in your posts.
    We were headed towards this
    ride, too, but our story
    ended differently. So, so
    sweet how you already had
    a name in your heart and
    just needed to find who
    it belonged to!
    xx Suzanne

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  33. this is so good! I'm on the edge of my seat! :o)

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  34. I think I know what happens in the end but ooooh can't it be Tuesday tomorrow? I love this series deary!

    Hugs, The Lady

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  35. I love Bethany Christian Services! We will probably be adopting through our local state agency though, when its all said and done. I love adoption...I am so glad that you are blogging on it! I think its incredible, and a gift. We still feel overwhelmed, but are feeling God beginning to knit and stir our heart strings towards our future child. We are so excited to see where God will take us, and its wonderful to have a bloggy-friend who has been there and done that! :) Happy hugs and blessings on you my dear!

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  36. I just found your blog courtesy of Melanie @Pretties and Posies. I am a mom to 3 great kids two which came to us through international adoption (China and Korea) and we also used Bethany for both. What I like about your blog is it is homey with children, cooking and just enough attention to style without being pretentious.

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