Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Big Adoption Series - Chapter 1


All day long, my big boy and I have taken turns busting out into, "Light-light-light up the sky, you light up the sky to show me you are with me..." (Listen here.)

What does that have to do with adoption? Nothing really, except for the fact that I would be singing alone were it not for one of the shiniest gifts of my life here on earth. Adoption is something I stumbled into. Somewhere in my late twenties, I bumped my shin on it and now, I wear it like a badge. It has shaped who I am, it has shaped my whole view on the world. It has even straightened up the edges of my thoughts on the world after this.

Profound, right? Well, I know it sounds exaggerated, but it's just the plain truth.

My husband and I have adopted thrice. We are Mommy and Daddy to Calvin (5 - "and a half!", born in South Korea), Ruby (newly 4, born in South Bend, IN) and Silas (2 in September, born in South Korea).

My hope for this series is that it will serve as a stand-alone series, linked up in its permanent home on the side-bar of my blog. I hope to give the ins and outs and ups and downs and zig-zags of adoption and becoming a family. I hope I will answer your questions, because the single most-asked question I receive from readers is not about paint colors, or cameras, or farmgirlishness, or salsa. It is adoption. And I can promise you this - there are few things in this life that cut straight to the heart of me quite like this story does. Should we ever become friends, and I hope we do, I will probably urge you, at the most remote opportunity, to adopt. I don't see a good reason why more people do not do it. It is biblical and necessary and it will knock your socks off, in the best possible way.

Before the Beginning

From time to time I hear of people who get married and just decide to adopt. They just know they want to. They know it's important. And they must have a hunch that it's part of God's plan for their family. I am inclined to envy these people, just for a moment. I feel like they must be a little wiser than I to understand that adoption, beyond necessity, is the gift of a lifetime.

For us, the decision was born from necessity. As such, the necessity aspect merits a paragraph or two. (Or ten.) Maybe it's the story behind the story, or at least one of them.

Growing up, I was never really a "baby person". I babysat for money, because that's just what girls my age, in my town, did. But I didn't love it. I wouldn't have done it for free, like some that I knew. Still, I never doubted in that young, hazy way, that one day I wanted to have children of my own. In fact, I had a strange feeling that I wanted several. Though it didn't entirely make sense to me at the time, I can look back now and see that I saw in my own Mama the truth that loving all different kinds of random babies was not a requirement for being a fun, loving, present mom. I saw in her that even though I didn't want to grow up to be an elementary school teacher, even though I would not be the church nursery chairperson, I still might have what it took to love being Mommy one day.

I boxed those thoughts up, folding them into the tidiest square, and shelved them in the way-back, where I knew I would be able to find them when the day came.

Then, I got married. I got a job. I got another job. I did what I did, which was to push myself toward success in each opportunity. Five years into our marriage, living in an over-priced, slightly ghetto apartment in Arlington, VA, after landing an exciting job that I was not qualified for, the day came. That hidden switch was flipped. Why? I really don't know. But almost overnight, I wanted to be a Mama.

The flipping of the switch launched the roller-coaster, that would become our lives for the next two years, into motion. I was not especially surprised that I did not get pregnant right away. I wasn't especially tortured over it. Yes, it was frustrating. It became redundant, quickly. I was the hamster on the wheel, running, running, but going no where.

Eight months later, we were back in Indiana and I scheduled an appointment with a fertility specialist named Jan. He was a he. I fibbed and told him we had been trying for a year, which was what I had heard was the requirement. He, in return, told me that a healthy woman at my age (27) should seek help after six months.

We did the drills and jumped through hoops. Most of the time, I was not an emotional basket case. I was frustrated and tired of it all, but I was very hopeful. Month after month, I would sit in Jan's office and he would look at me all perplexed and say, "Why aren't you pregnant? I really thought you'd be pregnant by now." I would look back at him, even more perplexed, and not say a word.

I Googled message boards and home remedies. I chugged cough syrup on certain nights and thought fertile thoughts and flew through home ovulation predictor kits. Each month, I rode that rickety car up the hill of hope. I sat at the top, suspended, for days, then I plummeted, the metal bar pushing into me the whole way down.

Jan did procedures and surgeries and more blood work and every result came back normal. Before long, I was up on the drugs. Hiney shots, ya'll. Jan informed me that I could do a total of four rounds. My aunt (a nurse) would shoot me in the hiney and a predetermined number of days later I would go back in to the office for an ultrasound to ensure that I would not end up with six babies, a reality tv show, a busted-up marriage, bad hair extensions and a humiliating DWTS gig. I would get the green light, then a week or so later, I would go back for another procedure designed to put everything exactly where it should be under optimal conditions, thereby maximizing the potential for success.

As you can see, things had taken a turn for the...clinical.

Jan, whom I respected greatly for his conservative approach to infertility, had discussed with us the fact that most couples had success by the 4th round. If we continued to defy the odds, our only option would be In Vitro Fertilization. From the start, we felt strongly (for reasons mostly unknown) that this was not a road we wanted to travel. Never once did Jan push us in that direction. In fact, he warned us of the expense, the health implications for the baby born under these circumstances and the risk of going into debt only to remain baby-less.

After our second round of Clomid and the whole rigmarole, still lying in the office in my paper gown, my eyes welled up, and tears coursed down my cheeks, puddling in my ears. At that precise moment, I was done. I was not hopeful, that it would be successful. Cory and I decided right then and there that if it didn't work, we were calling an adoption agency.

It didn't work.

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Join me here next Tuesday for Big Adoption Series - Chapter 2

93 comments:

  1. Touching! Truly touching! Your strength amazes me! What a beautiful thing you are doing to share your experience! Thank you ! ~lulu

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  2. loves it. i totally understand that lightbulb switch moment. can't wait to read more.

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  3. Yes!!! I found you just the other day and it's really like i've been guided to you!!! You are already in my heart!

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  4. same here..
    see ya Tuesday for Chapter2!
    Hugs..Loui♥

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  5. This makes me all teary-eyed and wanting more of the story. Even though I know what happens. :)

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  6. I am riveted. I am fascinated with adoption and can't wait to hear your whole story. Thank you for your willingness to share.

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  7. I love that you want to share your story. This is part of your testimony and you will bless & encourage others, and save babies in the process. This is a story that NEEDS to be told, so others will follow in your footsteps, so blessed by you doing this! We have talked seriously about adopting...it is in God's hands! Love your babies, love you, and so glad you are sharing! : )
    How is kindergarten going???

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  8. This has been the summer read I've been waiting for. Love and adore your heart.
    ~G~

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  9. I'm sorry you had to go through so much heartache to get to your happy ending!! Wouldn't it be so much easier if our Father would say, "Hey, don't go down that road. Take this one instead." Instead He lets us go down rocky, dirt covered paths so we can learn and grow and share our experiences with others who are on the same dusty trail. Thanks for sharing! You're family is quite amazing!

    P.S. I was one of the teens that babysat for free. :-) BABY-LOVER!!!

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  10. UGH! I meant "your" family. I don't want you to think, "What is that lady doing homeschooling!" xo

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  11. Thank you so much for sharing this personal story with us.

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  12. yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!
    so excited for this series! thanks for being vulnerable.

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  13. So glad you're writing about this. I remember this journey well. My husband and I learned how to give each other the hiney shots. If that doesn't test the bonds of marriage, not sure what else will. Looking forward to more (of your writing, I mean. Not the shots...I really shouldn't comment before I finish my coffee...)

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  14. Just as much as it "takes a village to raise a child" so does parenting....it "takes more than blood" to be a mother and father. Preach on Sister Woman.
    Debbie

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  15. Ah. Adoption. It's near and dear to my heart as we, too, are building our family through adoption. We, too, have unexplained infertility, though we never went the medical route. Our two children are both from Russia and we go meet our third (in Russia) in 11 days!!! We travel through Seoul.....and LOVE the people there. They are the happiest, most helpful that I have ever met!! Blessings to you and your family~
    Jody
    Mom to Addie (5 1/2), Will (nearly 4),and almost to Jack (nearly 1...tomorrow is his birthday!)

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  16. So appreciate you sharing...can't wait for Chapter 2 and 3 and 4 and...

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  17. Ooooo a cliff hanger! Can't wait! :D You'd be surprised in our circumstances how adoption keeps coming up. Heck, that's one of the things that drew me to you from day one. (besides your fun window sill picture frame) It KEEPS COMING UP! And though I'm about to pop one out, it is never far from my mind. :) I hope to get my socks knocked off someday.

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  18. :-( As someone who has been on the fertility rollercoaster for the last year and a half, I never like to hear that someone else has been there. It's a journey like no other, and I admire your ability to know when it was time to move on. That is much easier said than done in my experience.

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  19. Oh, love this! Can't wait for next segment...

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  20. thank you for openly sharing...My husband & I struggled to get pregnant w/#1 & after a couple of yrs. & miscarriage later it finally happened.We now have 2 special little ones, but we both feel adoption is in our future...
    How blest your little ones are {& you for having them :)Gods plan may not be ours but we know HIS is perfect!
    Blessings!

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  21. your kids are so special and talented in so many ways! i only hope i'm as blessed one day.

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  22. Yay! So glad you're sharing this! We feel that someday we will be adopting as well, so I'm excited to hear your story!!

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  23. You know Shannan, I am not sure that we would be friends IRL, but I definitely consider you one of the pieces of my heart.
    brightest blessings.

    XOXO

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  24. Oh Shannan, so glad you are sharing about this. I always wondered about your story and how and why you chose to adopt. Maybe I should print out a copy and hide it my husband's office. I have that heart's desire too, but we don't share the same vision. Fortunately we have been blessed with two of our own, so I can't be too upset about it.

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  25. Yay Farmgirl! I was going to grill you in person for all these details....hmmm, what will we talk about now? Actually, this just gives us more time to watch a little Texas Forever - always a good thing.

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  26. I am so glad you are sharing your story...I cant wait to read more. I have thought about adoption many, many times and have looked at the websites of children looking for their forever family (with tears running down my face). What you are doing is such a beautiful thing....

    annie

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  27. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal with us! Adoption is something I've always been drawn to. In fact we were looking into the very first baby steps of it when I found out I was pregnant. I still have the deep desire (calling?) to be a mommy to those kids who need it. Right now that's my nieces. My sister is a single mom and the girls are with us most of the time. Eventually we may adopt although right now we feel like, when our boys are older, we might want to open our home to those kids who are getting ready to age out of the foster care system. To give them a home, a base & a family they can always come back to.
    I'm really excited to read the rest of your story!

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  28. Thank you so much for this. Every word. I laughed and cried and have been waiting for this 'series' since I found your blog. I feel like you are writing for me, even though I know there are hundreds out there who are needing and wanting to hear all of this. Thank you.

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  29. Shannan,

    If ever a story needed telling, it's this one. And you are just the person to write it. I appreciate your willingness to share your pain, hope and joy so that others can be inspired. I agree with another comment that it would be so nice if the hard road could be avoided, but clearly this road has brought you to the right destination. Our God is so good!

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  30. My husband and I are on this new journey of adoption and I can't wait to hear your encouraging story!

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  31. Thank you for sharing this story - it brought tears to my eyes the entire time. I too was the girl who wasn't that into kids, but always wanted my own. Being a mother has been life changing in the best ways! I can't wait to read more. We have been very fortunate to have two healthy ones of our own and a third on the way, but we are also so blessed in our life that I wonder if adoption is ever in our future in some way to share our blessings.

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  32. Love It! Thank you so much for sharing this story... I will be glued to the monitor next tuesday to read the continuing story. Bless you and your family~Your sweet sweet family!!
    I have so been there with the hiney shots, I have had the puddles in my ears. Your story WILL bless many more than you can ever know, thanks for getting it out there!
    Carissa

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  33. Even though I have heard this story I still love reading it. God sure does know what He's doing - Even thought I know it had to be hard to go through all of this. Can't wait to read more...

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  34. My heart lept for joy this morning when I clicked on your blog and this was posted. Just this week my husband and I ordered a packet of information about adoption. It may be a couple years before we actually begin the process, but we're excited about the possibilities, and the blessings. Can't wait to hear more from your heart on this.

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  35. Thank you for sharing!! I'm so excited to hear all about how those adorable little people came to your home!

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  36. Thank you for sharing this story. I have been wondering how you came to adopt those 3 cuties! :)

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  37. Thank you so much for sharing this journey wtih all of us. Actually, my sister shares a very similar story as yours.

    I was so happy to hop on here to see you sharing YOUR story! I'm anxious to read more:)

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  38. Thank you, Shannan, for sharing your journey with us. I'm excited to hear more. God is good!

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  39. I want you to know that it's totally your fault that I'm now behind schedule -- I had to read a bunch of your posts that I'd missed! Come to Allegan this weekend, gosh darn it all. I miss you, too. How are things otherwise? News on the job/moving front? xo

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  40. Thank you for sharing this story. I am going through everything you just described right now, 3 rounds of Clomid, diagnosed with pcos, and yesterday I had a 3 inch cyst that ruptured. God has taught us patience and the very clear lesson that this will happen in HIS timing. I am at the fork in the road, and I truly don't know which way to go, I'm just kind of walking in circles until I find a map at this point :) I've thought of adoption a lot recently, especially since I found your blog, but I still have this feeling that if we can have a child through pregnancy, it's something we want to pursue, but being that we want more than one child, I think adoption could be somewhere in our future. Thank you for sharing such a personal story, what a blessing to see how God is working through you and your family.

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  41. Thanks so much for sharing this! You know I adore your blog and have always wondered if you guys were one of those couples that just wanted to adopt or if there was another reason. I can't wait to read more!
    hugs!!!
    Michelle

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  42. This was great to read. Brought back lots of similar memories. Encourages me to share our story at some point, too, as it is powerful to do so, and it does encourage people (and answer questions that you know they have and are too polite to ask!) Excited to keep reading your series...great idea! Love to you, Krista

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  43. Yay for an adoption series! I lovelovelove to read these. Maybe it's because I'm also an AP, or maybe, just maybe, it's because I love to see the Lord work through pits and chains and broken hearts. Our choice to adopt was actually before we even knew we would marry each other -- so the Lord really spared me (in particular) from the infertility struggle. I am so thankful. But I would gladly have done it one thousand times if it still meant we'd have our son, whom we adopted last year. God's plans are always the best, aren't they?

    Can't wait to read more!

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  44. Last night my sister said, "I think it's weird that God uses suffering to help us grow."
    I thought about that. He doesn't always use suffering, it's not the only way to growth...but isn't it neat that he does use it? That he uses all the dark, seemingly unreedemable moments to make something so beautiful we can't even believe it? You, my friend, are a testament to that. I think it's wonderful that none of your tears were wasted. What a message!
    I am excited to read more, it is encouraging to see you go places and come out with MUCH!
    p.s. I love that song.

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  45. So glad that you are telling your story. Can't wait for Part 2. You are already pulling on my heart strings.

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  46. Thanks for sharing. A friend just sent me to you blog today. We are foster parents (with hopes of adoption one day).

    We are the couple that got married & knew we wanted to adopt. For some reason, God put it on my heart at the age of 17, and, like you, I can't shake it. I'm praying for and encouraging more people to consider it.

    Looking forward to hearing more of your story!

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  47. I love people's stories. And oh, how I am already head over heels in love with yours. Waiting {not so patiently} for the next chapter...

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  48. you are brave and bold and beautiful. so much love to you and your sweet ones...

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  49. I hope one day that our paths cross and I can hug you. I hope to one day tell you in person how inspirational you are to me.

    And then we can sip on lemonade and watch our children play. :)

    Cheers~
    e

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  50. I am beyond excited to see you doing this series! Adoption has been on my heart since my late teen years. I love adoption stories. And I canNOT wait until the day when I have the privilege of having an adoption story of my own (just praying that my still-unknown-to-me future husband feels the same way...)!

    Thanks for being willing to share!

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  51. How well I remember those days. But without them we wouldn't be where we are,with three of the best littles in the world! It is just like our God to take something so painful and turn it around to make something so beautiful.

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  52. I'm so grateful you'll be telling us your story.
    My wonderful sister-in-law adopted three times also. While she was busy adopting we were all busy birthing. I used to wonder if this was hard for her. I never discussed it with her until recently...and I'm listening...and I'm honored she's sharing with me.
    She's an inspiration, and I'm pretty sure you are too!!

    : )
    M.E.

    (Her children are now 30, 26, and 25)

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  53. Thank you. It is wonderful to hear other people stories. Especially those who I know so dearly. Thank you for sharing.

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  54. Shannon, I have tears streaming down my face as I type this....but yet have a big smile too. I've been wondering about your and Cory's reasons for adoption since I found your blog. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to next Tuesday!!

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  55. I couldn't have described it better (of course I couldn't write better than THE FPFG!)- but seriously, the true roller coaster of infertility- month after month after month. It's devastating. I can't wait to keep reading. Adoption has always been "the next step" in the back of my mind so I'm excited to see what comes next in your journey.

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  56. Just started reading your blog - found you through the lettered cottage. i love the posts about your house, but like you said in your post, i've been scouring your blog trying to find out about your adoption story :) i'm trying to talk my husband into adopting...so i'm anxious to hear the rest of your story. thank you for sharing!

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  57. You are portraying the Truth of God's love for us as you love on each of your children. We're all adopted....aren't we? You, though, have a greater perspective then me. I am all for adopting and would do it in a second.....we'll see what God has in store. Thanks so much for sharing the beginning of the story! I've always wondered about the beginning, but felt it wasn't my business to ask :)

    ~Heather C.

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  58. My husband and I became foster parents 23 years ago, not knowing we couldn't conceive. By the time we found out we already had our son and figured God wanted us to keep adopting. We now have 4 special needs kids aging from 26 to 18. It's been a tough life but we know it's the path God had for us. I love hearing other adoption stories. I am excited to hear the rest of yours.

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  59. Wow... It sure it nice to know how the "story" turns out... or at least how it's unfolded so far. My sister and brother-in-law have adopted my 2 nephews and are in the process of adopting my 2 nieces. They too have an infertility story and chose to participate in out state's foster to adopt program. They were fortunate enough to have my nephews come to live with them at 10 months and 18 months... Both my nieces have been with them as newborns. It's a great program and has worked out for their family.

    I really admire them for their commitment to the foster to adopt program as well as families like yours that make the choice to adopt.

    Chris

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  60. I am really glad to hear the most interesting part of your life others want to know about is how your family was formed. That is clear God desires your voice to be an advocate for adoption. Your story is really captivating and one many will resonate with deeply. My prayers are with you, and that perhaps anyone contemplating may make that next step for themselves in adopting as you share.

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  61. Well I just think you are amazing- that's the plain truth!

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  62. I love your stories... can't wait to read it all!

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  63. Love your story Shannan. Love all of your adoption tales. I desperately want to adopt a big almond shaped brown eyed brown skinned little girl but that hubby of mine says no. He doesn't want to start the clock over on how much time we have until there are no children left at home. Mean 'ol guy. I've made the girls promise they will each adopt one. Maddie is for sure on board.

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  64. Thank you so much for sharing your story !!!

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  65. seriously girl~ i just KNEW you'd be writting a book one day and this is the beginning... I feel it in my bones!

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  66. shannon, thank you so much for sharing the beginning of your journey. i love this idea and i can't wait to read more. I love the way God works!! He is so Amazing and I'm glad to know you as my sister! :)

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  67. Shannan-I'm so glad you are sharing your journey, it has always been something I wondered about, how God grew your family, but figured you'd tell us when the time came. I'm excited to read more.

    You know my heart, I love your words about adoption, how the changed every aspect of your life. I too pray more people would give it a chance.

    AND..cracked me up with the "Kate" reference, she's an um..unique lady, huh? :)

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  68. This is my first time to your blog~So Cute!
    We just adopted for the 1st time (4th kido) in May from China. What a new and exciting chapter in our lives to have him home with us. Thanks for being so open about your families story.

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  69. Oh, I'm so glad you're doing this. I can't wait to read the other chapters. We're just turning page one, here in our story. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  70. I am so excited to read your story! I always knew I wanted to be a Mama. And even though, someday I would like to have a baby, God gave me the BEST gift EVER in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD when he gave me my son thru adoption. He is ten now and I can honestly say that having him has made these last ten years the BEST years of my life. I love him more than anything.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I think adoption is the most beautiful thing in all the world!

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  71. I was so glad to see your story on adoption and I can not wait to read the next chapter. My husband and I got married February 2002 and from the first night threw all "protection" out the window. After the first year we went to a specialist and have been up and down the roller coaster from fertility hell. We decided two years ago to try to adopt. Well the market went to crap, we lost our house, relocated back to Orlando, FL, kept my job but he lost his when he had to have back surgery. Since then we have become broke and frustrated. We are now filing for bankruptcy and were told we would have to put off adoption another year or so. That is was advised to do so in our current situation. We are renting the house from my parents in a nice neighborhood, right next door to my parents. We are slowly coming to the conclusion that parenthood was not meant for us. Every time we started trying again with the fertility treatment another bill would come up and we would have to stop. Then with adoption the same thing. We have been praying so hard about it and are waiting to see where we are supposed to go.

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  72. It's so lovely of you to write about your story.. all I can say is thank God for people like you. I think if I was maybe 10 yrs younger I would consider adopting but with 3 kids, 21, 17 and 12 I just don't think I have it in me anymore to raise little babies. My daughter though who is the 17 yr old surprised me a while ago when she said when she gets married she wants to adopt 2 south african babies. She's said it a few times now so I will have to wait and see if it ever happens. God willing it will. I have actually told her about you, how you adopted 3 and she was very 'impressed'. Not everyone can do it, not even myself I'm afraid.. so I totally admire you and others that do the same. God Bless, Maryann

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  73. Such an awesome story Shannen. Since I found your blog, I often wondered what led you and your husband to adopt. Thanks for sharing this. God really does have a bigger plan than any of us could imagine. Your 3 beautiful babies were meant to be with you. Very cool :)

    ~Kiri

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  74. on the edge of my seat!! love it!!

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  75. Thank you for sharing. Our stories are so similar. Although mine was over 20 years ago and the roller coaster memories are dim, I still remember the moment when I knew I was done. The procedures and drugs and disappointment and miscarriage were tearing me apart and not doing a whole lot for my marriage. We adopted domestically through our county foster care system. I am eagerly awaiting the next post. Blessings, Patty

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  76. Ok...first of all there are a million comments! Secondly...Even though my husband and I decided to adopt before trying to have biological children...my best friend had infertility issues for about 2 years before adopting! When we look back at that time in her life and how hard it was, we are all so thankful, because we know that is the only way that her little boy would be in our lives! God knew he wanted him to have my friend and her husband as his family, and we are all so thankful even though it took going through some tough times!!!!! Can't wait to read the rest!

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  77. Thanks so much for sharing your story!! I can't wait to read the rest of it. I also wanted to share this with you... just shows how natural adoption is! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBqBHSbC9e4

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  78. i think it is so encouraging hearing others stories of infertility...we also did many hiney shots. and many tests and tests with nothing covered by insurance which ads to the stress of every month not getting pregnant. what a miracle to have your special gifts from God. we went the in-vitro fertilitzation route. with that comes so many worries, but we were able to have a little boy a year and a half ago after years of trying. thanks for sharing your story.

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  79. Hurray for adoption! 3 of my 4 children are adopted. I love to hear other peoples adoption stories - they are all so unique and fun! I can't wait to hear more! BTW-Kuddos to your hubbie on his 1/2 marathon. We'll be rooting him on (from many miles away). We sponsor multiple children through World Vision. What a great ministry!

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  80. Thankyou for sharing your journey with us. Friends of mine have been on a similar path and are now blessed with two wonderful children born in Taiwan.

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  81. Thank you for starting this series. We've just launched out onto this exciting road.

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  82. I come home from vacation and have all these wonderful posts of yours to read. thankyouverymuch! You really need to find a literary agent and send her a sample of your writing. It is magical. This story about your path into adoption I think everyone would enjoy reading. What a wonderful story teller you are. Congratulations on being bestowed such a wonderful gift. You are one lucky mama!

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  84. I am SO excited to follow this adoption series. Thank you for sharing!

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  85. I am very excited about your posts on this! I have wanted to adopt since I was 16 rather than have bio kids for numerous reasons. My husband is a proponent of adoption although he would like at least one bio kid, if we do eventually decide to have a family. When I first found your blog, I loved it for your farmgirl sensibilities....and then I discovered the beauty and joy of your children. I was formerly an adoption worker, so will be absolutely intrigued by your posts from the perspective of a worker and from the perspective of someone who someday hopes to be in your shoes. Thank you so much for sharing your joys and your frustrations with all of us...A big blog hug your way!

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  86. I am one of those that did not conceive through the lupron, clomid, surgeries and charts, also agreed that in vitro was not an option for us and turned to adoption. Then have five pregnancies...unexpected. Go figure. Adoption is calling me still...more of late than ever before...and I am afraid that I am reading this at the "right" time. I know our sixth baby is somewhere waiting for us right now. Thank you for this!!

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  87. I am just now getting to read your blog, and the first parts of your adoption series. I am in the middle of the infertility struggle. We are on a break right now, assessing our next steps. I have done clomid, femara, injections. We're not sure where our path is headed, but I want to thank you for sharing your stories.

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  88. So I just finished reading all of your adoption series & the tears have been flowing the entire time! Praise God for the incredible journey He has created for you & continues to guide you in!

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  89. I wasn't going to post a comment until I saw that someone else recently posted a comment. I just read through your adoption series, too. I couldn't stop reading, and I'm so glad I finished it. I just wanted to get to know you more and understand the events that led to who you are today. I'm half-Filipino and grew up in a small town in Texas. My paternal grandparents adopted me (due to a set of circumstances too long to explain) so I get what it's like to grow up in a small town and be different. I also get what it's like to be raised in a loving Christian home. All the parts make the sum of who I am. Thank you for putting into words this journey and sharing it with us.

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  90. I look forward to reading more! We have some things in common- including living in a ghetto apartment in Arlington, VA (we lived there from 2004-2006.) I can't wait to read how your precious ones came to you!

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  91. Ah I just found your blog and I love, love, love it. This post brought tears to my eyes at work as it so mirrors my own experience (although there was always a calling in my heart to adopt at some point, we did pursue fertility treatments and were on that same up and down as long as you were). You have put into words beautifully what I have been struggling to express. Your blog gives me so much hope about our future family as we are starting the adoption process. :)

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  92. I should also add that we are 26 now and started trying at 23, so it's refreshing to read about someone who was a similar age to us.

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  93. Thank you for sharing such a person story. My husband and I are at the same point. If round 4 doesn't work, then we're done. We've both responded well to medication and supplements, but each month ends with discouragement. We've also agreed no IVF due to cost and health reasons. There fertility drugs have already wreaked enough havoc. But I just finished my education and we're a mid thirties so are we past trying to adopt? It's such a hard journey.

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