Monday, July 19, 2010

Trading Up

Today I stumbled upon a perfectly encapsulated summary of my life. That it was so metaphorical would have been enough. That it was entirely lovely was a gift. That I noticed? A miracle.

I was never a little girl who dreamed of being a princess, but I was a little girl who dreamed big. And often. I think all little girls do it. (I sure hope so.) And although I bypassed the ballerina phase, I whiled away a few fistfuls of hours imagining the endless possibilities of my future.

Never once did I fancy myself the mama of a brown-skinned baby with hair that tangles at the mention of a comb. Never did I close my eyes and imagine the weight of a little gymnast body in my arms, with delts that could make big boys cry. I never knew there was a specific, blissful heart-ache reserved just for the sound of a little girl lithp.

I step in from the heat that renders my lungs swamp-land, from the humidity that waves my hair. I breathe solace in my mudroom. Never could I have imagined the possible magic of a mudroom.

My eye is drawn to my unsexy, on-sale dryer upon which the image of my whole life rests. I was once that little girl playing dress-up. And my big plan? Well, I got it all wrong.

But the getting it wrong was the very best part.

The getting it wrong was only the beginning.

The getting it wrong meant I traded in a lab coat for a tiny, purple tutu.

40 comments:

  1. Oh, this post brings me to tears. I traded my big dreams for three purple tutus and I have never looked back. I am so glad that God had a different plan for my life than long hours in an office and stacks of paperwork. Now I have late nights and early mornings filled with laughter and tears of little girls and stack of laundry.

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  2. I was talking today to a friend about what we had planned as teens for ourselves. Never in a million years would I have guessed where my life would go. .

    What you wrote reminded me that I can feel secure about the future. Surprises are nice. Especially if they involve tutus.

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  3. I love your blog! You always have the most heartfelt and interesting things to say. This post totally made me puddle. I gave up what I thought was my dream for two little pairs of mud stompin boots by my front door, legos/cars/trains as far as the eye can see, and lots of wrestling in pillow piles! My life dreams are so much better than I could ever had imagined!
    Thanks for the encouragement and comradory... : )

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  4. What a blessed trade!
    warmly,
    ~Debbie~

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  5. There is oh so much beauty in your words. Thank you.

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  6. I wrote about a very similar lesson! Every once in awhile I get an urge to hit career hard...its so easy to be good at work. This mamma thing is soooo much harder...and SO much BETTER!

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  7. I felt every word youve written. I used to have two lil purple tu-tu's .Now they big girls that wear forever 21 jeans. You love them at this stage too and all we give up for them is even more clear when they are older.

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  8. Being a mother has been a dream come true, I just didn't know it when I was little. As a mother of 6, I wouldn't change anything.
    Such a beautiful post. Thank you.

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  9. You made a good trade. And P.S. That tutu and those shoes never looked better.

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  10. This speaks to my heart completely. Growing up, children were not really in my plans. I didn't like babysitting. I think I even told my mom at one point if I had kids, I wanted them to be born at the age of ten. Well, looking now at the beautiful baby girls I have now (with ballet shoes and tutus and princess dresses GALORE), I have to thank God for knowing a better direction for my life than I could ever have imagined for myself. I really would have missed out on what helps me understand what God's love really is all about. This kind of unconditiona love can only come from our Creator.

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  11. That's the best trade for sure! My 18 month old daughter just received a pair of Tinkerbell, bright lime green ballet flats. They come complete with sparkles and a pom pom on them. She wants to wear them every day despite the fact they are 4 sizes too big. The dreaming starts early around here!

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  12. Beautiful words paired with the perfect picture.

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  13. I love this post.... made me cry. Mommyhood is a blessing. Isn't God smart?! His plans always trump ours!!

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  14. Love this post. Thanks for the perspective! It is an awesome trade, isn't it?

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  15. What a powerful post... and what a great trade you made! You truly have a way with words.

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  16. Well, I'd say you got it right! Lovely post!!!

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  17. My life is not even close to what I would have expected either but that is the beauty of it. The unknown or unexpected can sometimes be even better than what we had imagined.

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  18. I'm not sure what I invisioned growing up, but I don't think I could have done a better job. I'm married to my best friend. I love my girls more than anything. I have a beautiful home with a wonderful neighborhood. Friends and family who love the Lord and support me. I really don't know why or how I got so blessed. There was a hiccup...a boy I could have ended up with. I begged and pleaded with God that it would work out with him. Thank heavens He ignored me and had a different plan mapped out. He knows just who and what we need in our lives:)

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  19. Oh what loveliness there is in the seemingly unlovely or mundane! I love that about our God. Trading up...what a perfect perspective!

    Loved this!

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  20. beautiful post...I never dreamed of being a mother or of a life of domesticity, but here I am and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  21. Thanks for sharing this... I think it's neat that God gave you that "STOP" - to still your self and reflect a moment.

    You've really left a message. At least to my heart. I don't know that I always "enjoy" the trade-up like I thought.

    Like I should.

    The funny thing is, is that this is what I thought I wanted - all my life. I (still) do.

    It's wonderful.

    But.

    I NEED to continue to look deeper and realize how blessed I am that I'm HERE - where HE wants me.

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  22. This is a wonderful post! The trade up is something that we all need to look upon and realize that there is nothing better! What a heart felt post!

    Kelli
    xoxo

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  23. Amazing and wonderful ... isn't it... that God knows and blesses us with His perfect Will!! =) I would have never picked my life ... but I do love it... (most of the time when my head is not in a funk!!... he he) Your writing is creative and deep... lovely!! as always! =) love visiting your farm!

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  24. How am I supposed to leave a comment worthy of your words??? Perfection. That's all I've got.

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  25. and getting it wrong is sometimes the best damn thing one could ever do!! lovin' on that purple tu-tu, the pink ballet slippers and your heart! xo

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  26. popping in from chatting at the sky and i LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. i got it wrong too - trading in writing my dissertation and living abroad to get married and have a baby and then three more. and they've taught me so very much - can't imagine my life without them and i'm so very thankful i made the wrong choice :)

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  27. i love this post!...and i love this picture! every pregnancy i thought for sure we were having a boy...and i really wanted a boy everytime too! now, i don't know what the heck i would do with boys!!!...thanks for reminding me how precious my little girls are

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  28. You're a beautiful writer...never stop.
    My life has taken many twisty turns, and not one of those turns was planned or expected...that's just life!

    M.E.

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  29. Such a sweet post. Make sure and save this for your little TuTu girl. You have a wonderful way with words.

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  30. I would stand in line to buy a book, if you wrote one! This really touched me as a mother. Sometimes what we don't expect, is the best gift of all.

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  31. You said it really, really well. Thank you.
    XO
    Heidi - Heart and Home

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  32. At first I saw this link and I didn't really want to click on it. What would a flower patch farmgirl have in common with me? (no offense, I'm surrounded by testosterone.) And even though I have no purple tutus laying around... I do have dinosaurs & spiderman strings made out of shoelaces. I never dreamed that I would be a mother of 2 Italian cuties, but here I am. AND I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

    Thank you for sharing. I hope you don't mind if I follow along :)

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  33. I think you made the best trade ever.

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  34. Fortunately, I didn't have to trade a "dream." But I did trade in the "expected" and the "monetarily secure" and I haven't even for a second regretted it. This life of purple tutus and nerf guns is better than anything I could have ever dreamed!

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  35. His ways are past finding out, and they are always the best

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  36. love this post....love your heart to see the gifts he has given you when you didn't even imagine it. i never imagined my life with a little silky black haired daughter from China...but HE did and my life will never be the same.

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