Sunday, July 25, 2010

A Corner

I have not been to a single flea market this Summer. Not one. single. time.

I think part of it has to do with my heart changing about this sort of thing lately, but I'm not going to pretend that I have no desire to get my junk on. I won't pretend for a second that there's anything wrong with a little flea action.

Finally, today, the fleas aligned and I was Allegan bound.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday I was served a double-dip of devastating news, with a side-car of stomachache.

The stomachache alone would not have stopped me. I didn't puke, after all. A stomachache isn't real unless puke is involved. And I haven't puked in TWELVE years. Twelve. 12. Read it and weep. (And yes, feel sorry for me that this is what I have to brag about.)

Then I got a phone call, piggybacked on an email, which translated into buckets of tears and two more raspy-voiced phone calls.

Everything is fine in this house. These worries are not my own. But they involve a couple of the people I love best, so they really are kind of my own. That's what we do - we share burdens. We take on the pain of another. With proximity playing a role, I am able to carry just a tiny corner, but that little corner is deceptively cumbersome. I lost sleep last night, thinking of two who were losing sleep in other zip codes.

I called of the flea.

I spent my morning, instead, awash in new tears while sitting first in a metal folding chair and then in a wooden pew.

I cried over loss and confusion and loneliness. I cried over safety and love and acceptance. Faith. Hope. Sad mingling with joy, sharing a path down my cheeks.

There is no place I would rather have been today. Fun as it is, sipping a lemon shake-up, hugging fleaish friends, would not have lightened my load. A cart of finds would not have carried a corner of my corner.

I sit with my back to a near-dark sky and my heart aches more than it did a couple of hours ago. That's how it always works, isn't it? Hurt can't hide so well in shadows.

While this may seem a little here-nor-there, I want to share something I stumbled upon just a few nights ago, with the help of my Lovely - Becks.

It will take up less than 10 minutes of your time. It is worth it. Here's a lady who grew tired of carrying life on her shoulders, alone.


Ann Rice - author of Interview With A Vampire, to name just one: (if the video keep stopping to buffer, push pause for a couple of seconds and try again!)

47 comments:

  1. Shannan, I'm scooping you up with a great big bloggy friend blanket and sending you a virtual hug. For whatever reasons your heartaches I hope it passes just as soon as it swooped in.

    PS Wowza I'd love to have dinner with Ann Rice!

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  2. Xxxxx's and Ooooo's and love to you and those on your heart tonight.

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  3. You are one in a million. Times are so much harder when you are helping some one else carry their burden. Love you!


    PS off the subject, forward me the recipe for the soap? Please.

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  4. We've been watching some of the I am Second videos at church, mingled with testimony from our own members. They are fantastic, aren't they.

    Praying for rest and release for you and your loves. : )

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  5. Sending warms hugs to you and those close to you:)

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  6. The beautiful thing is that God knows...and we can pray...even when we don't. I'm praying!

    God bless you, my friend.

    : )

    Julie M.

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  7. I'm always at war with my passion. Him first.

    Just beautiful.
    HUGS!

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  8. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 2Corinthians 5:17 Thank you for posting video.

    My heart was heavy all day, as I wept and worked in my gardens. I pray God gave me tears to cry for you my kindred friend, and for the burden of those you love.
    XO

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  9. My Darling. I share your burden. I shake my head in disbelief and I'm burdened with sorrow for the ones we share our love with. Thank you for writing my thoughts so eloquently.

    I loved the video Shanny - are there more of these?

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  10. Isn't that always the way, we carry other's peoples pain more that we carry our own. We want to help, we want to fix it all, we want to be there, but truly it is God who can do all things. Just know that your strength does help others and your prayers are what truly matters. Hugs.

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  11. Well this is fellowship isn't it. I thank God that he sent help in the form of friends and family. May you have the strength to share the burden.

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  12. Peace to you.
    Look for strength.
    Breathe.

    ~Andrea in NH

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  13. Suffering, pain, heartache. Our God created us to long for redemption, to long for healing, to long for hearts untouched by sin and sorrow. I am SOOO with you. And will be praying for you and sending you hugs! (((HUGS)))

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  14. I'm praying for peace and grace for you. Thank you so much for sharing this video. I have a cousin in a similar situation and we are so hopeful that she will return to God.

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  15. Oh My Farmgirl Friend,
    I am so sorry that your sweet heart is sooo sad and heavy! I hurt for you and your friends, and am praying that this hurt will heal very soon. Lean into God, He is the ultimate comforter, He knows how to sooth all your worries! Tons of hugs!

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  16. Thank you for sharing both the video and your heartfelt burdens. I pray you feel the load lighten soon. Blessings, Patty

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  17. Shannan, praying for these situations. As I looked into your eyes this morning I could tell you were also sharing my burdens. Thank you. Love you, friend!

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  18. You're a good friend Shannan. A keeper. Sharing not only the good times but the bad as well is what real and genuine friendship is all about. If you see our buddy face to face please give her one big hug from me.

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  19. Beautiful--the joy and the pain of bearing another's burdens. It is privilege. It is important work. Thanks for this.

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  20. Hey girlie, sorry about your friends. Don't know what happened but praying for you and them.

    The video worked beautifully. I've heard of Ann Rice, but never watched the movie or read her books. Now I'm curious. Her story was so amazing. To walk away from her faith...become an atheist and then not be able to escape Jesus...well honestly it brought goosebumps all over! Thanks so much for sharing.

    Hope you are feeling better. BTW you rock for not getting pukey sick in 12 years. Wish I could say that!!!

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  21. Shannan, I am praying today for you and for the ones you love so dearly. May God guard your hearts in Christ Jesus, covering you with His love like a warm blanket.

    If only I could give you a real-life hug. But I draw comfort in knowing that the One Who is closer than a brother is there. May you see a glimpse of His glory today.

    In His grip,
    Jody

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  22. Some (((((HUGS))))) for you and God
    Bless you and your loved ones that are hurting.

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  23. Sending warm and happy thoughts to you and your loved ones.

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  24. I could not get my volume to work for the video!!! ack!
    btw...I would do anything rather than throw up, it is a abnormal fear of mine, I've even thought of taking myself to the great blue yonder, at least I wouldn't throw up there! so kuddos on your 12 years, it's been only 6 for me since I threw up after waking from my second to last colonoscopy, but that wasn't sickness, that has been 8 years.
    Sorry you received bad news, you are a true friend/family to bear the burden...
    ((((hug)))))

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  25. Bearing each other's burdens, weeping with those who weep, it really is such a beautiful gift of friendship. Praying for you, and those you love, today.

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  26. This was a hauntingly beautiful video. As a cradle Catholic I found her testimony to be so familiar. While I did not turn away so drastically, I understood her wanting to break free. Thank you for sharing this.
    Dana

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  27. Wow! These are amazing! I watched the one over at Farmgirl's too... They leave me speachless.

    So sorry for you loved one's heartache. Life is complicated, thank God we have him to uncomplicate things when we need him to.

    Leaving on a happy note - I'm so excited because today I'm doing my first giveaway and I wanted to invite you - my giveaway is starring a piece of Ms. Farmgirl's creations - she is so fabulous I just couldn't help myself.

    Praying for you and your loved. The Lady

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  28. I'll be praying for you and yours. Helping to shoulder the burdens of those we love and adore is what life is all about.

    PS - 12 years with no puking - amazing. Absolutely amazing! I puked from eating too much popcorn last month - it's awful every time!

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  29. I have had a plenty of those days. Its so cliche to say but it does get better.I appreciate you being so open with your emotions lol it lets me no that I am normal. I have have been in prayer for you and your family I just want you to be aware.

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  30. Thanks for sharing that! I cried. Very powerful video.

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  31. Praying with you and for you. Tears are a language that God understands!

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  32. Oh that sounds like a bad awful day. I hope it's turning around...for both you and for your friends.

    BTW, I haven't thrown up in 20 years. No lie. And it's really sad that I am keeping track.

    I'm going to go watch that Ann Rice video now...

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  33. Just had to say, I watched the Ann Rice video and it was awesome. I always wondered about her story, because I'd heard that she stopped writing the vampire chronicles, and I was curious about why. I was a non-believer for about 20 years or so...returned to faith in the last 4 years, so I can really relate to much of what she said. Thanks for sharing this with me today!

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  34. So sad for your friend... what a terrible thing. I am praying for her family and you as well. May the knowledge of Jesus' love give you peace and comfort. xoxo
    Jesus said, "Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

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  35. You are a very good friend. I am doubly blessed to have you as a daughter and as a friend. I draw such comfort from your words. The body of Christ is amazing,He never intended us to go it alone. With each tear and each moment of laughter we are knitted closer and closer together, making us into the family He desires. I have met the most amazing women through your blog,I feel like my family just keeps growing and growing.

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  36. You say this well...this carrying of one anothers burdens. It takes a lot of courage to live this life, doesn't it?

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  37. The things God has for us are so much better than our plans! You sure had one of those days. I really enjoy your stories here. And that video, was so incredible..

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  38. "A bruised heart that chooses to beat for God in the midst of pulsing pain and confusion, may just be the most expensive offering placed on the alter" Beth Moore

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  39. sending hugs, prayers and heartfelt wishes for a peaceful heart, my friend

    kary

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  40. PS. LOVED that video...Have to share with R.

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  41. I pray that you find comfort in God during this time.

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  42. Thank you for sharing that video, my bro.in law has gone from Christianity to Atheist and I enjoyed hearing the honesty in Anne Rice's journey.

    Praying for you.

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  43. I read this post and watched the video over the weekend. Friday or Sat night I think. It literally brought me to tears. It was beautiful.

    This p.m. I was driving in my car and heard this interview on NPR radio

    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128930526

    I am speechless, I think you will be too.

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  44. This video is very powerful. Thanks for sharing it, here.

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  45. She's really interesting. I've heard her story on the Christian radio in the area and friended her on facebook. One night she was on facebook and I spoke to her very briefly. (Take THAT brag - she who hasn't puked in 12 years :D )

    Bless you and whatever burden you are helping to bear.

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