Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Garden Day Gone Horribly, Terribly Awry

Today was Garden Day in Walnut Grove.

I don't really live in Walnut Grove, but I might as well.

Nothing too exciting ever happens around here, unless you consider a new variety of cheese at Grandma's Pantry exciting.

Which, by the way, we do.

We spend the morning shoveling and plowing. Sprinkles showed up, but we paid them no mind. It was all rather placid and idyllic, gardening in the mist.

But then trouble slithered into town.

I detest snakes. And they know it, and they purposely show up around here, from time to time.

I tore out all of the vinca vine because they were prone to hiding in it. I couldn't bear the thought. I couldn't weed the blasted vinca.

It turns out, the little people are rather charmed by the snakes.

You heard me right - SnakeS.

Next thing you know, that bad dude Peer Pressure strode 'round the bend.

And things spiraled frighteningly out of control.

His head kept coming near my face... Only now do I see that he was smooching my neck!

I can only speak for myself, but my life would have been complete without a snake neck smooch.

Step. Away. From. My. FAAAAAAAACE!

At last, help arrived.

Now that's a garden-day face only a snake could love...

I don't care what they say about you, Mister. I don't like ya.

Never have. Never will.

And for the love of all - couldn't you have at least been a gentleman?

Moral of the story: Be very, very afraid of your husband's high school buddies who do not have wives to talk sense into them.

Dang you, Brad. Dang you!

58 comments:

  1. They would have found me the next county over if that thing came anywhere near me. Why oh why did I have to read this post right before I went to bed.

    Yikes. I feel nightmares rolling in already. Dang.

    ~mary~

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  2. Oh, I'm not at all fond of snakes but I managed to get through all your photos {with only a few shudders}. Calvin looked pleased. When the reptile man visits our highschool every couple of years, I will happily cover someone's class so THEY can go see all the creepy creatures. Very brave of you!

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  3. oh.my.word. That creeps me out just seeing it through the screen!!! AHHHH!! You are so brave! I just don't think I could have handled having that thing wrapped around my neck, much less one of my babies! But Calvin looked rather happy about it! Walnut Grove sounds like a happenin' place!

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  4. that gives me the creeps just looking at it!! YOu poor thing.. so glad you survived! :)

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  5. now that is just crazyness! i don't know how you managed that one!?!? yuck!

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  6. you rock. I draw the line, and I'd have never, never done it... one cool mom.

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  7. Midwestern guys are dreamy, huh? Well, I sure don't need that kinda lovin.'

    : p

    Julie M.

    ps If anything ever tries to mess with ya...just make that first face. That thar's a pretty scary face!!! : )

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  8. Snakes are yucky! Yep, that's it, that's all I've go to say on that matter!

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  9. Holy Smokes! I couldn't sleep and decided to read some of my favorite blogs and now I am certain I don't want to go to sleep... nightmares about snakes are in store. I was at my parents today and we were sitting in the yard when I saw the fern hanging down in the tree jump. I thought oh no a snake... after Dad braved an investigation it turned out the strap it was on just slipped down the branch. Great news but, not before I practically peed myself!

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  10. I thought snakes that big were dangerous? They aren't? Was it a pet?

    We don't really have snakes here on the island so I've never had to deal with one.

    I think I'd be nervous having one crawl over me, you're such a brave mom! I bet the youngsters loved it!

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  11. Holy Cow, Brad hasn't changed a bit since college! Neither in looks or behavior, right? :)
    The pictures of your were crackin' me up. Crackin'. Love you!

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  12. Shannan ~ I'm sorry...I am so deathly afraid of those things i cannot even look at them or see them or anything...YIKES...
    I don't know how you did that but I couldn't read all of it...I hope you don't take offense to that but those are the only things that make me go into a bit of a shock and freeze...

    You are definitely brave:)

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  13. You are so brave, I can't even touch a snake! I can finally manage worms in my old age. My twin sis used to torment me with all the slithering things, now she's the big priss!

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  14. NO WAY, NO HOW could I have let that thing near me! My moto...."The only good snake is a dead snake"...sorry don't mean to offend any snake lovers out there, but.....BRAVE, VERY BRAVE YOU ARE!

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  15. Dude, is Brad single?! LOL. I'll take him, snakes n'all!

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  16. HAH!
    Reminds me of the 6 ft. bull snake I found outside the backdoor.
    My heart is much stronger than I ever imagined!
    annie

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  17. I almost couldn't even read that post... I'm looking under my desk now. My students might hear me scream soon :)

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  18. Oh my...scary...I was screaming for you!!

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  19. Brad's kinda cute. I can see why you let him put a snake on you;) That's the only reason I would do it...yuck! You are so funny. Love all your crazy facial expressions.

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  20. Just the pictures made me scream. How could you let that thing get near you, ewww!

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  21. I AM THROWING UP RIGHT NOW!!!!! I am TERRIFIED of snakes. Why in the world if you don't like them, did you let it crawl around your neck? I could hardly look at your pictures they creeped me out so much. Before you showed the friend Brad, I thought that those terrifying creatures came from out in the field, etc. Ugh! I can't wait to see your garden progress. Mine got tilled last night, and is ready to go for this weekend.

    Good luck, and PLEASE don't show those snakes again!

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  22. Oh my goodness! I don't mind snakes, but I HATE to be surprised by them! Did you see the show on TV - 10 days - 1 Man - 100 deadly snakes - it was about to KILL me watching it! Why do people love snakes?

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  23. Oh my I hate snakes. The pictures were hard to look at. The looks on your face......When my kids were little I wouldn't go in the reptile house, heck, I still won't, I sat outside on a bench. Hate, hate hate them. Sorry snakes, I know you serve a purpose.

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  24. Could. Not. Have. Done. That.


    Will have nightmares now. Thanks alot. ;)

    In my house I am the spider squisher, DH is the snake catcher. Although I am ALOT busier (don't think he has ever been called on to do his part)- I still think i have the better end of the deal

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  25. i second brianna, i'll take the snake charmer anyday. send him down to NC, we've got lots of snakes down here.
    now you can say, you've touched a snake, held a snake and been kissed by a snake. and you still hate them, now its ok.

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  26. I just found your blog and was enjoying your picture (minus the snake ones). :) You have a sweet family. Our kids are the same age spread only they are 5, 7, and 9. We live in the country in the mountains of Montana-no big snakes here.

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  27. Oh my word. I have the serious ebie geebies right about now. My camera is a permanent fixture when we are out and about, but I'm not sure that I could have stood there takingg the pictures. Ack.

    You are a cool mom--I would have rather died than held the snake. : ) Oh, shudder.

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  28. oh my hairy heck. I would DIE!!!! aaaahahhhhh

    How freaky is that?? At first I thought you actually found that in your garden or something. Which, I have to say, might evoke a heart attack.

    Scary! The pics are hilarious though...and totally worth the slime factor! :)

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  29. All I can say is "glad it was you and not me". I have been tortured by those snakes too many times and the only reason that he has not brought them over for a play date with Henry is because Andy hates snakes more than me. Brad the Crazy Snake Man!

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  30. Yikes!!! My brother had a snake while we were growing up, and I was so comfortable with that thing, but things have changed...Now, you couldn't pay me!

    Come visit my blog. I am having a Play-Along to show off Pretties. Very Simple & Just for Fun!

    Joyce

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  31. I hate snakes. I give you snaps for even touching it. I would have gotten the H E double hockey sticks out of there! My husband found a dead mouse in our garage a few months after we bought the house and I was ready to call the realtor. LOL To this day I still hate going in the garage. I know, I have problems.

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  32. Hmm:) It's been a few years since I held a garden snake (of my own accord) because some friends found it, and since it's small, what the heck. It was cool.
    Psh, I'd hold a snake Brad gave me....hehe:) I'm with Farmgirl --he's cute;)

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  33. icky icky icky! I think I'm gonna be ill. {shiverrrrr}

    Happy No Snakes Day, The Lady of the House

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  34. After seeing that snack wrapped around your neck, slithering toward your face...you are the bravest woman I know. Uuuugh, I can't even type all of that without squirming!

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  35. You are much braver than I. I will jack with bees, but not snakes. They are too smooth and unpredictable. I'd rather get stung. Well, not really, but you know. Girl, your face in these pics is priceless!

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  36. oh my, you should have called me! we like snakes over here! the boys would have been thrilled to hold a big one.

    when we find snakes here, i always tell them to put them in the garden. i'd rather find them than a mouse any day of the week:)

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  37. 2 SNAKES!! That kinda reminds me of the picture we had taken in the DR with that wonderful creature.

    Look forward to seeing you guys soon.

    Lori

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  38. You ARE so brave!! I could never do that!! Thank you so much for your message, it meant a lot to me. :-)

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  39. The snake wasn't kissing you....he was seeing if you tasted good enough to eat. 8).

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  40. I've got to tell you, those pictures were incredibly hard for me to look at. I'm totally skeeved out now! I'm glad to know that you didn't find that in your flower bed. Emma and I would have had to cancel our visit.

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  41. I have never ever ever seen a snake that big in my life outside of a zoo!mercy!

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  42. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I just looked at these at 9:50pm and I just know I'm gonna have snake dreams! Ugh. Those are horrid looking. I am impressed that you touched it, much less let it smooch your neck!

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  43. OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!! That is detestable! Makes me squirm all the way here in my very snakeless family room. Oh girl - how did you ever put that thing around your neck!

    Made for a great post though!! :) ((shudder))

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  44. Looks like Calvin is not the only one learning about courage! Baloney boats just moved up on the list of things to be experienced whilst visiting your house. You're a brave girl, Shannan! I'm impressed.

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  45. it's good to see Welty is still charming the socks off everyone he meets.

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  46. Dude...that's flippin' hilarious. Your expressions are priceless. What's even funnier, you posted them on your blog. Have a fun time in Ohio today!

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  47. I love you, but i could have done without that post! That Brad....welcome back, I guess. :)

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  48. #1 - When we were camping last week in FL, we got visited by a pygmy rattler. Enough said.

    #2 - In my book "The only good snake is a dead snake." PERIOD!

    I'm with you, gal!

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  49. i do not know how you did this and survived. i mean really. someone would have to lock me up in the loony bin and throw away the key. yuck, yuck, yuck. YUCK! and i was all like, "she found those kind of snakes crawling in her flower bed? why isn't the for sale sign in the front yard and she far, far, far away?" oh dear!

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  50. I love the picture with your little ones toes!

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  51. I have two words for you: Oh! Gross!! :-)

    Lisa

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  52. SCARY!!!!! OOOOOHHHHHHH how nightmarish. uggggggghhhh.

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  53. I would have freaked! I can't believe you had that snake around your neck. Eeeewww

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  54. EW!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!

    The reptile guy who comes to local elementary schools has a huge huge yellow snake... safe "fixed" snakes... but I can only handle holding the huge one... feels less like a snake...

    eeeeeeeeeeeew!

    *shudder, shudder, shudder!* =)

    sorry am I over reacting!?!~ =)

    I still can't get the image of it on your neck.. by your face.... ew!

    LOL!

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  55. Dear Shannan,
    I love these photos. My husband and kids tried raising ball pythons. I loved snakes as a kid, however, I am no longer a snake fan. My kids enjoyed seeing all of these photos of your friends snakes!!
    Hope you are having a great week.
    Take Care,
    Maria

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  56. I love that Brad is in this post. Fitting very fitting. Yes, Brad... We still love you!

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