Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Winners!

The time has come for me to announce the winners!

What? You didn't know there was a contest in progress?

Well, it was a surprise contest.

But with real winners.

But with pretend prizes.

And really, isn't that the best type of contest?

Without further hullabaloo, I present to you the joint winners of the Surprise Flower Patch Farmgirl Jingle Contest. Both of these fearless ladies painstakingly wrote, for me, a personalized jingle - lyrics and tune. (The judges were lenient on the "tune" requirement...)

First, up is Annie.

Flower Patch Farmgirl's
queen of the town. queen of the town, queen of the town.
Flower patch farmgirl's queen of the town.
Yes, indeedie.
Flower patch farmgirl's cool as can be, cool as can be, cool as can be, flower patch farmgirl's cool as can be,
She's my favorite.
(SING THE ABOVE TO LONDON BRIDGE'S FALLING DOWN)

I don't believe her for one minute about the "favorite" part, but I gave her 800 pretend bonus points for so shamelessly kissing up to the judge and 200 pretend bonus points for use of the word "indeedie". She's one savvy gal, that Annie.

Next up is Jayme, a.k.a. Marty.

Fruga-vinta-swoona-Limbaugh=licious farmgirl, Shannan.
It's Shannan.
Who?
Shannan.
What?
I said Shannan.
Mmmhmm.

She claims to have composed some music, and I believe her. She gets 500 pretend bonus points for spelling my name correctly, 400 pretend bonus points for appealing to my repressed Urban inclinations, and an additional 100 pretend bonus points for referring to me as Limbaugh-licious. (More on that another day...)

And now, the awards presentation.

For Annie:

A pretend muffin tin full of Spring blooms.


For Jayme:

A pretend hummingbird on a barbed wire fence.

Ladies, you are both obscenely talented and admirably courageous. I think this is but the beginning of big things for you'ns. Big things. Diddy already stopped by and begged me for your digits. He scuffed his shoes coming up the lane, but he didn't even seem to mind.