Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sweet Cheeks and Jabber Jaws

These kids of mine...they're rascally.

And most days I can roll with 'em.

But not today.

Heavens to Betsy, they plumb did me in.

It may have something to do with the 4 hours of sleep I got last night.

But I think it has more to do with this guy.

He Never. Stops. Talking.

He wants to carry on normal, adult conversations, every moment of the livelong day. And when he does momentarily lapse back into Preschooler mode, he wants to play Pretend, which involves him concocting an elaborately detailed storyline, selecting my role for me, and feeding me my lines (predetermined by him, of course) one at a time. I am allowed zero artistic license. He's a miniature, Asian Speilberg on a power trip.

I know there are surely Mamas out there in the world that would eat this right up. I don't doubt that many Mamas love incessant dialog with a teenager trapped in a 4-year old's body.

I mean, I myself love it.

Until about noon.

Today, by 4 p.m., I was imposing mandatory Toy Room time. Ruby was already in there, of her own volition, happily dressing Barbie in a very J Crew-esque ensemble, complete with a plaid jacket worn atop Ken's oversized T. (So proud!)

That Ruby, she can be a little wiley at times, but she likes a little downtime, herself. She has an honest appreciation for the sound of silence.

Cory hustled through the door with just enough time to scarf down his dinner and connect to an hours-long conference call.

So, we baked cookies.

And, you know, talked.

Finally, thanks be to Heaven, it was 7 pm. That's right, our kids go to bed between 7 and 7:30. They go down quite well and sleep 12 hours. It's our sanity. And more importantly, it gives me ample time to ice down my overworked jaw muscles with a bag of frozen peas.

As for tonight, I'm considering an early bedtime. Because it's possible that my eyeballs are shriveling up into my skull, as we speak. I keep checking them in the mirror and they look like they're still there, but I'm not ready to abandon the idea that it's all a hallucination.

50 comments:

  1. All I can say is you gave me a GREAT laugh and also, I have a 4 year old son who does the same thing to us...All day long it is either, "You know what guys?" or "Guys- you know what?" and we have to listen to lengthy explanations of his stuffed animals family trees, the plot to Shrek 14, or what he would have done had he actually been born as Obi-Wan Kanobi and had to fight with a green light saber... trust me, I totally understand! Thank goodness he isn't a weird-o and there are other little guys like him :) BTW, 3 is a juggling act...with 2 you are just a parent, but with 3 you become a professional. You'll see.

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  2. Do you realize how hard it is to type when I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes! I can only imagine the career possibilities that lie ahead for that young man.

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  3. What a way you have with words! I'm so sorry you had such a trying day, but it made for a very good read : )

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  4. Ahh, like other's I'm laughing so hard I'm laying on the monitor! And trying to re-read this to my hubby...who's giving me that exasperated sigh if I can't get my act together don't read out loud! My son also talks all.day.long! People say "awww...he's so verbal!"...Yes, and if shopping with my mother-in-law an I can manage to sneak away on my own...I still have no doubt where they are...phone her to find out where in HobLob they are?...nah, I just have listen for that little voice that is *still* chattering away hours later!

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  5. I think I have the future wife to your son. She never shut's up. Now I know I asked for it because her whole 2nd year she didn't say one word in her preschool class. Not one word the entire year. They were worried. She spoke a bit at home..but blam this year she has gone non-stop from when she wakes up till she hits the pillow- which by the way is at 730 also. She asks me tons of questions which I have now come to reply with - why do you talk all day long? and she replies - because you need a friend and girls love to talk right? arrrghhh sometimes I just wish she'd realize that silence is a good thing. but I guess one day I will wish all this back - right?

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  6. Oh my goodness...our grandaughter spent the night last night and I am exhausted today. That girl talks constantly and wants continually interaction, whereas my grandson will play quietly for hours with legos. At least since I'm just the "nana" I can send her home and take a nap!

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  7. Great story, I'm cracking up. I look forward to seeing some of "Little Speilberg's" work someday, I am sure it will be top knotch!

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  8. I truly loved this post...I felt the same today for sure...by noon I was DONE...but your two are so stinkin' cute...lovin' that she loves her quiet time...and that picture of her:)...and Did I mention your son's picture was perfect for what you were talking about! Hilarious he is...I honestly know not to you when you feel your brain is fried from all that conversation but still so funny!

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  9. I have three children and two of them LOVE to talk. I just told my seven year old a few minutes ago that my ears were full. Mommy's ears get full often.

    Since we homeschool, there is not much quiet time around here. Oh, thank goodness when bedtime comes.

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  10. My girls love to talk too and it is exhausting. It's hard to pay attention... I know that's awful to say, but it's true. Hope you get some restful sleep:)

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  11. Hilarious and so relatable! Sometimes at dinner I just go into a trance because my brain is on overload. I have four though, so you'll get there soon and be happy to make it to 5 or 6 without a complete shut down.

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  12. I call it noise pollution...by the end of the day, or rather by the time the hubs gets home, I just can't take too much more of the CONSTANT talking...well, or the whinning either for that matter! It's a good thing we have cute kids...it makes up for things...most of the time :)

    :) T

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  13. I am glad to hear somebody else puts their kiddos to bed around 7pm. Max loves it, I love it.

    It's a good thing...

    XOXO-

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  14. Hilarious! My 6 year old son is the same way at times. But ya know, I think the 7:00 bedtime makes up for it all. ;)

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  15. Oh girl... my two chicas can talk, talk, talk. Yes, bedtime can't come quick enough some days. I hope you get a few more than 4 hours tonight.

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  16. I remember when my little Henry was teeny tiny and I couldn't wait for him to talk, especially since everyone told me that 'boys just don't talk as much'. Now I find that on certain days, if I were given a moment alone with a time machine, it's highly likely I'd go back and tell myself to chill out.

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  17. I am feeling for you. I have a slightly older version of your son. Dmitry wakes up talking. Literally. He talks nonstop all day and although I'd love to say he then goes to bed and all is quiet, I can't. He talks in his sleep.

    He.
    Never.
    Stops.
    Talking.

    Ever.

    It's a good thing he is cute :)

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  18. Ahhh the never ending talking... I couldn't wait till my oldest could start talking, well & then she started & has yet to ever stop. some days I just tell her mommy can't think can you either go in the other room or stop talking for 2 seconds. Geez these kiddos have too too much energy! 7-7:30 bedtime... I would LOVE that!!! My girls go at 8-8:30.

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  19. Girl you cracka me up! We should get your guy and my gal together. I am also not allowed any creative freedom during pretend play. It's always, " Mommy you say this, no don't say that, Mommy you did it wrong." And elaborate... oh holla lady, I feel you. But dang they are easy on the eyes, cute as bugs ears, so they win, we lose, game over.

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  20. Seriously...are you this funny in person??? You make me laugh out loud every post!! The JCrew dressing was awesome and the icing down your jaws. I love it! Have a great night.

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  21. I'M NOT ALONE! Can't tell you how good it feels to know that you (and others) are living with a motor-mouth!
    Yesterday was my breaking point, too. I demanded that she go to her room for a while and BE QUIET!! Of course, after about 5 min, she was leaning out her bedroom door asking, "Mom, can I talk now" HA!!!! I can laugh about it now - but, MAN, I was noise-stressed yesterday!
    I really want to talk and be in all her stories/plays/pretends . . .
    But, my ears and head need a rest . . .
    We still have nap time at 3:00-4:00 - I LOVE NAPS!!

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  22. Out the park! So funny..kids will sucking all our brain juice out by the end of the day. they keep going and going and going and going..ugh stop me..lulu

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  23. Hahahaha! This is a hoot! Great post!

    This is the problem with very smart children, they know at a very young age how to wear us OUT! The great thing is that childhood does not last too long and then you move into Grandparent phase. At this point you can send them home at new when the fun wears off!PERFECT! :)

    Love you girl, you are WAY too much fun!
    Rhonda

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  24. Shannan, he's not going to grow out of it either...Aaron was that way, and is still that way, and during homeschooling he wants to talk between every math problem. Yesterday he told me all about his elaborate air bag system to protect his iPod Touch, how he would design buildings, what I should put on my itchy scalp, etc. It's why I'm up at 4am everyday, to have a few hours of peace before he gets here! But ya know what...I'd rather have that any day than a sullen up teenager that I didn't speak to, or know what was going on in his head.

    That picture of Ruby is precious. She seems like such a doll.

    Your blog is so wonderfully written!

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  25. Bless.your.heart. My girls were line feeders too and I'll be honest, I don't like playing pretend with kids. I'll sit and play games and do puzzles and read books and do crafts and bake all day long but I h-a-t-e playing barbies or make believe. Hope you got a good nights rest.

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  26. I'm laughing out loud---and that Ruby...what a smile!

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  27. I agree with a previous comment: I am sorry you had such a long day, but honestly, your stories make me smile and provide entertainment for me first thing every morning.

    Hope today goes better. :)

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  28. I've got a talker (my son) and a pretender (my daughter) and can relate to the days of not enough sleep. Especially as I sit here typing having been awake since my daughter crawled into my bed at 3:31 a.m. But, like you, I wouldn't trade 'em for the world.

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  29. I am doing a tap dance of thanks to God that I am not the only one that has this! I clock watch for the last hour before bed (mine go down the same time as yours) And the second they are down I sink into the couch and dont move for at least half an hour!

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  30. Amen for the 7:00 bedtime. That is what kept me sane when my kids were young. I have news for you - I have one of those kind of sons. No - he did not out grow his talking. At school his 6th grade teachers call him an old soul. He can carry on a conversation like an administrator rather then a student. The good news is that he is an incredible problem solver and perfect student. I have a very good feeling about the future of your little man. Lori

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  31. I am so grateful for the time and effort you put into your blog. Truly---it makes my day---
    I so appreciate your honesty and humor.
    Our middle child was JUST like your son AND he continually included his invisible friend in on the conversation as well. I kinda miss those days...(oooooo but I LOVE my alone time!)
    annie

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  32. Maybe one day when you have writer's block (don't see that ever happening) you can let shortypants Speilberg dictate a post for you. That would be some big fun.

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  33. Oh a 7:00 bedtime you lucky duck you! We do 8 and my Everett is up between 5 and 6:30 every day! He exhausts me with his never ending running! Then Aubrie is like your son & talks non-stop with questions & stories. I got a picture of her by a sign that says an avg 4 year old asks 437 questions a day - really 437 questions?!? No wonder I'm exhausted by 8! They do crack me up though that's for sure :)

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  34. How funny! I have a 3 year old daughter who also never stops talking. I have been known (on occasion) to play "the silent game." She only manages to last about 5 seconds--but those 5 seconds are golden!

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  35. Your blog always brightens my day! My own daughter was a quiet one, except when she was about 5 years old, which was when I learned to answer her without paying attention. She's on to me now if I try that. Also, about the bed time, Lydia is 12 now and she has to go to bed at 7:30 due to school starting so early. Your kids won't have to adjust their routine when they start school...so that's good!

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  36. I have a talker too... and she's only 2! People always think she's older than she is because she is ALWAYS talking.... it's the only way you know she's asleep!
    My son is the director... it's always, "OK mom, pretend your this and say this..." followed by "No! Not like that, like this!"

    Very cute post... I am always excited to see what your brood is up to!

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  37. I LOVE reading your blog. It makes smile and brightens my day. By the way I love those red lockers you found. Now that was a great find!!
    Look forward to more of your FUN posts!
    Take Care,
    Maria

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  38. I have to tell you, you take beautiful pictures!!!!!

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  39. lol, you always crack me up! thank you!

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  40. Ahhhhhh, the blessed post bedtime silence. It's heavenly.

    I find all the chattering makes my brain numb after a bit - is that the case with you also?

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  41. you.are.too.much.

    kinda makes a person(mother) feel bad when she has to say "would you please just stop talking for a while, i need a break!"

    i'm usually saying something like "i know you're really into the blah blah blah stuff that you like, but you know i really do not care one iota about it, please call one of your friends".

    yes, i have pretty well said something like that more than once.

    bad mommy, i know.

    kids obssess. what can we say?

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  42. precious kiddies! I have a jabber mouth of my own,and I am not a talker! That's when it becomes movie time. unfortunately, we have had way too much movie time lately (with being snowed in for 3 days) and now of having lots of mama guilt! Good luck!

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  43. two things...
    i thought it was just my "only child" that did this

    and AMEN to everything you said!

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  44. everyone who has a talker understands. makes my mind swirl. i need quiet time. but they're so darn cute.

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  45. Love this blog...you crack me up!

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  46. oh man. you simply rock. 7 o clock bedtime....that is a majah accomplishment.

    i totally get the 4 hours of sleep thing. i wish i was better about going to bed early, but it seems that is when i'm at my prime.

    my 5 yr old drama queen is my jabber jaw and giggle box. she is a happy chatter, but good grief! sometimes i just can't seem to pick up what she is putting down:)

    love this post. your children are beauties!

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