Saturday, January 2, 2010

My word.

I've never been big on resolutions. We all know how that story tends to play out...

But for the past 6 months or so I've latched on to my own, personal, 3-word mantra:

Patience - Kindness - Joy

They are words I want to live by and attitudes I want to instill in my children. Some days, I wanted to Sharpie them on my walls. My walls. Other days, the under-five set struggled most.

I've found myself thinking more and more about goals, for lack of a better word. I've been thinking about how I really want to live my life. What I want my days (and nights) to look like. What I want my kids to learn from us. What matters most to me and how to translate that into my everyday life.

I was getting all Franklin Covey - Mommy style.

Leading up to the new year, I was more inclined than ever to resolve to do something. Then I stumbled on the idea of choosing just one word. And when I say "stumble", I mean it. I couldn't take two consecutive steps in any direction without stubbing my toe on "one word".

I liked it.

So, for the next three or four days, I pondered. I stewed. I looked for a sign.

I couldn't decide.

I take these kinds of things far too seriously, because here's a little something about me: I can't stand to fail. There are loads of things I never decide to do. But when I really do decide to do - I want to accomplish. It has its downsides (fear of trying new things, anyone?) but it also has its perks. It's my personal, pocket-sized, goes-anywhere-and-everywhere kick in the rear.

Stir that into my mile-wide streak of procrastination, and you'll find me here, on January 1st, wordless.

I tossed around "serve", because it's something I've felt called to do more. To serve my husband, my children, people I don't even know.

I contemplated "joy", because I have learned that joy is a choice that changes every other aspect of life.

Still, I wasn't satisfied.

So, I talked to my Mama tonight while she sewed up some curtains for Silas'/Silas's room. She chose "seek". As soon as I raised the topic, she knew. It didn't surprise me and it made me love her even more.

Then, I talked to Cory. He picked "Canon" first, then I sent him to time-out, then he came back with his new attitude adjustment and picked "content". I loved it. I like knowing that we are both thinking about the same sorts of things and gearing up for the same sort of year.

Talking about it with two of the people who know me best in this world helped. I told them about my three options and they helped me see that the choice was clear.

My word is Intentional.

It's not cute and pithy. It wouldn't look as charming stitched onto a pillow. But those probably aren't good enough reasons.

I want to be intentional about the direction in which my life proceeds in 2010, even amidst big changes. I want to be intentional with my relationships, my time, my money. I don't want life to just happen to me. I don't want my days to all just slip away. Some of them can, but not all of them. Not most of them.

I have full confidence that my word will not transform me into someone more productive, more creative, more organized. But I know that my head cannot argue with my heart. When I say that something is important to me, my word will help to connect my mouth and my head to my heart and my hands.

Here's to 2010. I'll meet you back here in 364 days with an update. In the meantime, I'm anxious to see how it all shakes out.