Monday, January 25, 2010

Grocery Store Confessional - 4th ed.

Friends, we've reached a new low tonight. What I'm about to share with you will surely be the most stale...the most wearisome post ever written in the history of the blog.

Ain't no joke.

It pains me, just a little, to share what I'm about to share.

Naw, that's an overstatement. And you know me, I'm no fan of the exaggeration.

Let's try again...It causes me a slight ache, a teeny tiny crick of discomfort to present to you:

This Week's Grocery List, ad nauseum.

But first, a disclaimer and a plea for mercy: I'm sorry, friends. I just don't see any way around it. As much as it baffles me that anyone might care to see the contents of my shopping cart, I have fielded numerous inquiries as to the status of my weekly grocery bill. I'm not sure how else to explain myself, so I'm going all-in. I promise, I will never, ever do this again. I promise, I am not purposely taking advantage of your willingness to put up with my scattered, overly-verbose self. I promise, after today, you may wish we had never met. But I implore you - give me another chance! For tomorrow is a new day.

Ahem.

Take 2.

This Week's Grocery List, ad nauseum:

Hold on, maybe it would make sense if I started with my menu for the week.

Today: Left-overs from the weekend
Tuesday: The spaghetti and marinara that I've somehow still never made
Wednesday: Pasta Primavera with Chicken
Thursday: Orange Chicken with Rice and Veggies
Friday: Sub sandwiches with Oven roasted potato wedges
Saturday: Lunch - Chicken Pasta Salad, Dinner - Frozen Pizza (Mama's going out, yo.)
Sunday: Lunch - Left-overs, Dinner at the 'rents

So you see, we are left-over loving people. We rarely throw food out. We eat it. Last week, I thought I might never see the end of that Swoony soup. It lingered. And we loved every bowl. Embrace the left-over, good people! It will save you cash.

Now, without further ado, This Week's Grocery List, Ad Nauseum:

Dented Can
Pepperidge Farms english muffins - $0.99
Large box of Corn Chex - $1.50
2 cans of Campbells Tomato Soup - $1.00
Granola Bars - $1.25
Motts no sugar added mixed berry applesauce - $1.49
Whipping cream - $1.35
Large box of couscous - $2.89
Jello instant pudding (box) - $0.65
Ocean Spray cranberry juice cocktail (smallish bottle) - $0.99
Total: $12.11

Meijer
3 kiwi fruit - $1.00
1 bunch green onions - $0.50
1 lb. fresh asparagus - $3.08
Sugar snap peas - $1.99
Vine ripened tomato - $0.63
Vidalia onion - $0.71
Red seedless grapes - $2.49
Pint of grape tomatoes - $3.49
Broccoli - $1.50
5 lbs. potatoes - $1.50
Jar of banana peppers - $1.69
New York garlic breadsticks - $1.39 ($1 off coupon)
Cookie Crisp cereal - $2.75
Sour cream - $0.99
Cavatappi pasta - $0.50
Rigatoni pasta - $0.50
Meijer butter braid pretzels - $1.35
Dannon All Natural vanilla yogurt (the big tub) - $1.39 ($0.75 off coupon)
Lays Salt and Vinegar potato chips - $2.69
Meijer soft crust frozen pepperoni pizza - $3.29
Mini sub buns - $2.00
5 count chicken breasts stuffed with cheese and broccoli - $4.99
2 boxes of Meijer tissues - $2.00
Meijer Ultra strength fruit-flavored antacids (large bottle) (for Mr. FPFG) - $2.00
Meijer brand Rest Simply (for FPFG) - $3.39
Total with tax: $48.33
Grand Total for both stores: $60.44

Important note #1 - Clearly, this household is not all healthy, all the time. Just in case there was any question about that. Cookie Crisp and Salt & Vinegar chips - Manna from heaven?

Important note #2 - Between these two lists, I have everything I need to make our meals for this week. I also have some on-sale extras, like the stuffed chicken and couscous, which will probably be used next week.

Important note #3 - Breakfast at our house usually isn't a big affair. We typically have english muffins, instant oatmeal or cold cereal.

Important note #4 - Lunch is typically something easy for the kids and I, like grilled cheese sandwiches, PB&J, fresh produce and/or...left-overs!

Tell me, are your eyes glazed over?

Do you wish I would stuff a sock in it?

I hope it helps explain a few things. I'm no expert here. I don't really coupon. I know many people who do far better than this. I am not organic, per se. I am not opposed to using store brand stuff (for most things), nor am I afraid of a dented can or jacked up box.

I am happy to say, that barring any unforeseen food emergencies, I have successfully fed this family for $350 this month, which included two dinners out. (This budget also includes necessary toiletries, medicine, paper products, etc...)

I am convinced that a big part of staying within the budget is really locking it into my brain that I have to.

This is the other thing that really helps:

No, I do not use this to house my 2 measly coupons.

This, folks, is my billfold. My pocketbook. My jack. My dough.

Every month, I put $$ in each of these envelopes and it has to last me the entire month. Try it, just for a month. It will change the way you spend your money.

Don't you love how I just keep talking, as if anyone is even still listening?

Forgive me.