Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Our Exotic Get-Away

My Honey took me on a fancy trip. You know the kind....the suit-wearing husband jets off to an exotic (or at least warm) locale and brings the wife, along with the garment bag.

He's never done this before. Then again, he really doesn't travel very often. Especially to fancy-pants destinations like...

Louisville, Kentucky.

Seriously, friends, envy is a sin! Get ahold of yourselves!

All I know is, I'm here, in an unfamiliar city, and I'm kidless. It's a strange feeling...a very wayward, irresponsible feeling. In a good way. Five separate times today I momentarily thought I was in DC. No, there are no similarities among the two. It's a sensation I can't quite put into words. Suffice it to say, I don't often find myself kidless in the city, but when I do, it's typically DC.

I packed 2 books and a magazine. I couldn't get the internet to connect this morning and I didn't give a rip. I decided weeks ago that I would be as lazy as possible on this exotic get-away, and so far, so good.

Cory left our room this morning at 6 a.m. looking smoking hot in his new tie.

Which brings me to this: Who are the people who spend $50 on a tie at a department or men's store when there are equally dapper ties to be found at TJ Maxx for $8?

Should I ever strike it rich, I hereby do solemnly swear that I will continue to buy Cory's ties at TJ.


So, my day.

I woke up around 10 (fa rills), read for a while, then went down to the workout room.
(Everyone who knows me in real life is now howling with laughter, but just ignore them and they'll go away...)

I came back to the room and watched some of my favorite news channel (Have I ever told you that I secretly aspire to be a political talking head? Call me, Shep!)

I showered, grabbed lunch, then meandered the streets of downtown Lowllvoll.

I spent an hour in Borders and bought The Snowy Day for El Rubo and a spiral-bound reference guide on the 50 states for Little C. Both from the bargain section.

I read a magazine article on Fergie where she bragged about her fantastic marriage to Josh Duhamel and I felt bad for her.

I strolled into Starbucks looking for a lemon bar. The trendy, frat-boy barista called me "Ma'am" (note to self: practical shoes and laugh lines make for a woeful combination) and informed me that "we haven't had those for quite some time". I felt so uncool. I might as well have been wearing wide-legs in the age of peg-legs.

I opted instead to pick up a cup of fruit and a toffee nut cookie at Panera (that haven of familiarity) and head "home".

On the way, I paid window-shopping homage to the Colonel.

Back in the room, I... read some more. I told you, I'm the Queen of All Things Boring. One of these days you'll believe me.

The truth is - I like quiet. I like solitude. It fortifies me.

It is this very self-awareness that prompted me to change my personality from "extrovert" to "introvert" years ago. I had always assumed that since I enjoy public speaking, I must be an extrovert. Tweren't so. It took a while to change all of the necessary documentation and it cost an arm and a leg, but totally worth it.

I urge all of you to spend some time in careful consideration over your fundamental personality type. It's more important than knowing your blood type and your skin type. You can't imagine the freedom.

I have also come to learn, over the years, that I have a peculiar inability to stay on topic...I blame it on the disorienting effect of isolation-inducing introversion.

Say that 5 times fast.

Eventually, Cory grew weary of schmoozing and found his way back to me. Then he took me to dinner at Ray Parrella's Italian Cuisine. It was out-of-the-way and divey and divine. I would have happily dined soup-style on a bowl of marinara. (TMI?)

I almost ordered a slice of the Dreamsicle cake, to-go. Then I chickened out. Then we left and I regretted chickening out. Then we passed a dessert shop and I made Cory turn around. Then we went in and looked at the options and small-talked with the Girl, but nothing looked good. (I'm more of a pie girl than a cake girl and that's been the truth long before the extrovert-introvert conversion, so I have reason to believe that it's not going to change anytime soon.) I felt bad for not ordering anything, but my good sense told me that the Girl wouldn't hold it against me and we walked back out the door as cakeless as we had entered.

Tomorrow I have big plans to do a whole lot more of nothin'.

Wish me luck.