Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Different Kind of Normal

I keep wondering lately why my baby is getting so big.

It's inescapable to me these days - she's a kid. And I love it. I am not a mom who weeps over my babies growing. Part of my job is to teach them independence and bravery and I like seeing those things manifest in them.

But don't get me wrong - it gives me a little tear. And a teeny sniff.

We spent tonight with Ruby's birth mama.


It's our life, you know? It's our world, and I love it.

But when I take a step back I am struck with the knowledge that our life is not normal.

Holy cow - I am thankful for that. I'm happy to be the abnormal one.

Because I love Ruby's birth mom and the rest of her birth family.

They are my family now. I love them like my family.

When we adopted Ruby, we adopted them, too.

I remember back to the time I thought I could never do an open adoption. It scared me. You hear all the stories... But I'm singing out a new story. It starts with sacrifice and obedience and faith and ends with love that just keeps on going.

It does get confusing and complicated sometimes. We are all human and we all have human emotions and we struggle together to love Ruby in the way that is best for her. We have learned to be honest about the things we don't know for sure.

I do not feel competition. I do not feel jealous.

We all trust our Heavenly Father who brought us together in this out-of-the-ordinary way. We know He'll see us through.

I can feel my heart open right up when I think of the people Ruby has in her life who love her so much. Her circle is larger than most, and that could never be a bad thing.

As for tonight, we laughed and ate and played. Ruby showed off her mad ABC recognition skills and played the role she plays best - Class Clown.

Oh, and I made baloney boats for dinner.

What? You've never had baloney boats?

I pity the fools.

These are a well-kept secret, but they are slowly taking the country by storm. Fried baloney, mashed potatoes, creamed peas.

What's not to love?

You know that you're family when I serve you baloney boats. And I know you're family when every plate is scraped clean.

In an attempt to balance out the weirdness of the meal, I baked an apple cranberry pie with homemade crust that was all jacked up but tasted pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I love abnormal. I love things that look different but are really quite perfect.