Saturday, December 5, 2009

Annual Cookie Bake-Off

So, today was cookie day. The ladies of Cory's immediate family gather for this event every year, and even though I show up 20 minutes late every year, they keep inviting me back.

I'm actually starting to think they'd be lost without my late arrival. If everyone showed up right at nine, who would bring all of the stuff that was forgotten? (At least, that's what I like to tell myself...)

For the ins and outs of the annual event, check this out.

By now, we work like a well-oiled machine.
And oil is, after all, the lifeblood of the internal combustion engine.

The problem is, there is a certain participant who chokes each and every year under the weight of this heaping load of festive pressure. She just can't quite get her act together. Last year, her pecan fudge bites turned into a giant batch of slop and ended up in the circular file. (Did any of you have "clever" high school teachers that used this term as though they were the wittiest and most amusing person on the face of the earth?)

This year, we had high hopes that she might produce something edible. We crossed all our fingers and toes. Her secret-recipe molasses cookies sounded SO good... She watched them like a hawk and baked them to soft, chewy perfection.

This year's lesson: Crisco can spoil, ya'll. Who knew??? Not this girl.

Those cookies emitted the most noxious fumes. And they tasted even worse. Some of the girls tried to be nice about it, and others knew there was no use and nearly spit them back in my face.

So...Merry Christmas, dumpster rats. Hope my rotten cookies don't give you the runs.

As you can imagine, these perfectly turned out candy canes and the charming gingerbread men and the oodles and oodles of chocolately yums did nothing to soften the blow of my third consecutive failure.

Hey - maybe when things slow down after the holidays you could all email me the recipe for the nastiest cookie you've ever tasted. At least then I would know the outcome going in.

Not that I don't already.

Ho Ho Ho.