Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What a Difference Two Weeks Makes

I love all of the seasons. I really, truly do.

OK, some of them I love, some of them I only like.

Fine - some of them I tolerate.

But I love the idea of all 4 seasons and I believe that my life would not be complete without them. I think the thing I love most about The One That I Only Tolerate is that it gives me pause to wrap myself burrito-style in my ugly blue fleece blanket and daydream about the months to come.

I'm anticipatory like that.

It's on my mind - that marginally tolerable one - because, well, I hear the train a'comin'.

It's rollin' round the bend.

And I decided something today. Rather than merely surviving it - rather than using it as a point of contrast to the prettier, cheerier seasons, I will try to celebrate it. I will attempt to hunt for the beauty in it.

Mind you, this is experimental. I'm signing on as the first official participant in the study.

As surely as I type these words, I am signing the waiver and consent. Because experiments can be hazardous. I learned this the hard way in Mr. Short's chemistry lab.

But maybe my earnest commitment to the cause will bring healing to other Winter-weary souls for years to come. I like to think of this as my stout-hearted contribution to the improved, seasonal mental health of myself and those around me. In a way, I am a pioneer, no? I am venturing forth to blaze a trail through layers of ice and the darkest of days. I will probably be wearing my green robe over my clothes most days, but you will be none the wiser.

I, Flower Patch Farmgirl, vow to hitch up my knee socks and live these next 4 months as though they are a regular part of my life and not a scheduled interruption.

In a testament of good faith, I bring you this:

On my way to eat Thai with Sarah and Holly, I happened upon a break in the grey. It was the only break in all of the grey today, of that I am sure. But I was there. I saw it with my own two eyes, and my Lumix FZ28.

It felt hopeful to me. The light is always there. It wants to be seen.

I intend to keep looking.

But I hope you will still love me if it turns out that Winter really is just crummy. With experiments this bold, one never can anticipate the outcome.