Saturday, November 28, 2009

Rangeline Road


It's time to dash off to bed - up the familiar stairway, into the cooler air, behind the door that still falls open to precisely the same place.

I don't know what it is about being Home (the home of my youth) but it always brings my heart to its knees, at some point or another, with nostalgia as thick as honey.

It's a good thing. It's a bad thing.

It's a good thing.

Truth is, if "it" is left behind when this house sells - along with the floor creaks and the scent that is ours alone, I will miss it.

I am convinced that there is truth to be found in contemplation. I like attempting to unravel the mysteries of my life...the fact that there are mysteries about my life that even I cannot place in the proper columns.

My past and my present collide only here and it makes for a mind-spinning blend, especially when today's hour creeps into tomorrow's. I should know better than to stay up so late in this house that is so quiet. But honestly, this is where my night-owlish ways were born.

Is it possible that the girl who grew all gangly and bookish and opinionated and proud is the same girl sitting in this chair? Can the girl sitting in this chair, so pensive and and tender-hearted and stubborn and searching, really be the one who knows these walls by heart?

I am so different, and so unchanged. I hope the years have sanded off the edges and shined me up as to make the eyes of my heart clearer. I hope I have learned.

For now, I am warm from hot tea and the fireplace. My fingertips are still tangeriney. It's time to climb the creaky stairs, tiptoe past my beautiful babies and fall into my too-short bed where the man of my dreams is fast asleep.

7 comments:

  1. precious words...it is 3:30am here and i can not sleep...so i got up, gave the cat some milk & ham...started a fire...am now sitting in my comfy chair...looking to see what all my blogging friends have been up to...since i am anything other than a night owl...this is so out of the box for me...but, it's my birthday today...so i feel sort of excited to be doing something so...not me...jules

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  2. lovely thoughts, and penned so beautifully!

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  3. Very beautifully written! I live close to my parents, so I am at "my" house every weekend, but I feel the same way about family dynamics and relationships!! Have a lovely weekend!

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  4. How do you do that? How do you bring tears to my eyes so easily with your words? I love the girl sitting in that chair and I think she turned out just right.

    I hope you got my message yesterday. I am the luckiest friend ever. Love, Jen

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  5. Beautifully said...I love reading your writing...especially when it is straight-up-right-down-to-it kind of writing.

    I have similar thoughts about my own upbringing and you put some things into words that I wasn't able to do.
    ox,
    Lara

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  6. I can smell the tangerines as I read your post! Good luck with the move. I've been there - almost exactly 4 yrs ago we moved from the Seattle area where both our kids were born (and our first purchased home). I had no idea what was in store, but countless blessings have followed us to our new home.

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  7. Oh that was beautiful Shannon. You are a poet girl. I feel the same way when I go home... a jumble of mixed emotions. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving:)

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